Subject: Panurgence I (So it's late. Sue me.) (LONG)
Date: Sat, 29 Aug 1998 12:57:12 -0400
From: jblanks@mindspring.com (Panurge)
Organization: MindSpring Enterprises
Newsgroups: alt.gothic

This is gonna be _way_ too much about _moi_ and too little about all the
wonderful people I met, so my apologies.

I left ATL a little before 8 AM Thursday morning--something in my head
just wouldn't admit that I needed to leave at 7 to get to Detroit to meet
Beth Garfield and her boyfriend Grey on time at Wayne State University.
The truth hit me somewhere in the middle of the rural bliss of Tennessee,
and I wound up spending the rest of the trip doing somewhere between 75
and 80 MPH.  Naturally, there was a lot of road work in Ohio, which made
me even later.  I finally got there (good directions, Beth) around 7 PM;
their friends Tiffany and Brent decided to go on ahead, which made me feel
like a schmuck.  After getting gas (They think $1.20/gal. is expensive?
Heh!) we went to a parking deck to store my car, at which time Tiffany and
Brent drove up (for some reason they didn't go on like they said they
would).  We eventually wound up going together as a caravan of sorts, with
a side trip to Brantford so T & B could pick up a friend. T & B wound up
getting stopped at the border, so B & G and I stopped at a nearby
McDonald's and grabbed a bite.  T & B joined us later, then we finally hit
the road at 9:30, only to stop at both service centers on the way to
Brantford.  Then another delay:  403 was closed for a section between
Brantford and Hamilton, with _no_directions_back_--we took an hour trying
to find our way.  Directions from someone at a local Tim Horton's were
hardly any good--we had to resort to a map that showed only the most
important roads and hope it steered us right (which it ultimately did).
We reached our destination at about 3 AM--a house where Jim, one of
Tiffany's friends, lives (thanks again to all involved).

Friday morning must rank as one of the most open-ended moments of my
life.  I had no idea where I'd be laying my head that night (after having
spent a night entirely with people I'd never met before) and no
transportation of my own, and I had to be all dressed up for the Tea at 2
PM.  (I'd talked to Cobweb about a room, but I had no idea where he'd
be.)  I wound up walking about a mile in broad daylight wearing two layers
of Spandex and whiteface makeup dragging a suitcase with me (without the
handle with which I could've taken advantage of its wheels)--fortunately
just one person said anything, something about "Halloween".  The Bathurst
streetcar finally picked me up (I should've just waited at the corner of
Bloor) to take me to King.  The walk from there to the Executive was
blessedly short.  When I got there, I asked the staff if they'd keep my
suitcase for a while, which got me a blank stare as if they didn't know
what I was asking.  Thwarted there, I went up to the Committee Room to see
if I could leave it there.  Sheryl and Greg very graciously let me do so,
and then even had the grace to let a superannuated poser newbie like me
tag along with them in the cab to the Royal York.
I took a chair near the kitchen, and the estimable Al and Melusine
eventually sat down across from me (much to their eventual chagrin, I'm
sure--I don't think I acquitted myself too well).  Someone came by and
took a photo of us all for a Chicago Goth publication whose name escapes
me.  I wound up eating very slowly, which is odd--usually I'm a (not so)
lean, mean eating machine, but this was different--I think my anxieties
and my exhaustion were combining to take away my appetite--a truly
momentous event in the face of all these delectable comestibles.  I still
didn't know the looks anyone there except the organizers (who I'd
recognized from photos at the C4 website) and Cusraque (the hat, natch,
though I'd seen a photo of him there, too).  C's chain mail belt became
the subject of convo; M (I believe) pointed out that C's brother was a
specialist in same.  Presently C fortuitously stopped by our table,
affording me the opportunity to ask about his brother's work myself.  His
response:  "Oh, I haven't talked to my brother in years."  So much for
that--the only time our paths crossed the whole weekend, BTW.  (M pointed
out that C's brother's work was still available in various catalogs and
Goth-friendly stores and such--unfortunately, I'm too clueless Goth-wise
to know where to go.  Oh, well--we'll see.)   As for the gift swap, my
haste to get where I was going meant I wound up slacking _majorly_ on the
wrapping (what wrapping?)--my gift wound up being claimed last (by
Siobhan, BTW, who I hope liked it).  And _then_ I had to get my money
exchanged--I wound up walking all the way through the mall solo to get to
the Royal Bank branch.  $100 American turned into nearly $150 CDN--cool!
On the way back, I met Andrew the Exiled, also from ATL (BTW, Andrew, if
you're reading this, I've got your notepad--Charles found it in his
truck), and Phoenix, too.
Back to the hotel by solo taxi, then back to Room 324 to wait things out
and mingle and meet a few people (Ruhiel, Charlotte, Edvamp, &ru, etc.).
Ruhiel,  as everyone knows by now, was waiting for Dranith in particular;
actually I was too (we'd been having a long, deep e-mail conversation),
but he never showed up.  Cobweb eventually made it there, only to tell me
he was waiting on a room himself and the situation was even more, um,
_fluid_ than I thought.  AND THEN...  <fanfare> Charles the
Gothcop/Gruamach and his better half Kathy to the rescue, found for me by
Cobweb himself with room space to spare!  O happy day!  I immediately fell
onto the spare bed for a rest, with a request to send Dran to my room if
he made it in.
Finally the time came to go to the Opera House (fashionably late, of
course) with Charles, Kathy and Elixxir (am I missing someone?  Yosa, did
you come with us on Friday?); miraculously, Charles found a parking space
_directly_ across Queen St. from the theater!  I wandered around aimlessly
until Ruhiel called me over; she'd finally found Dranith.  Not saying a
word, I showed him my laminate, upon which we embraced long and hard in a
way I've never done with _anyone_ else in my life, not even my family or
my closest friends.  Even if Ruhiel immediately became the focus of Dran's
life that night, it was a moment I'll treasure forever, and for which
alone all my efforts were worth it.  I don't even know if Dran knows how
much this meant to me.  Anyway, we talked for a while, still arm in arm at
first (I let go first, simply because I didn't want _him_ to let go
first), and he promised that our conversation was _not_ done yet.  Seeing
him greet others much the same way he'd greeted me, I wondered if I'd been
raised on some alien planet where people didn't express themselves openly
(in fact I was, in a sense--open expressions of emotion have always been
_uncool_ in my family until recently--we have, or think we have, what you
might call a Mr. Spock complex, where we feel things too strongly to let
our feelings out, lest someone get hurt).  Now I find that others were
better to him that night than I was, and even helped him get to C4.  Why
didn't I help someone I love so much?  I am a schmuck!  Arrrgh!
(BTW, I've posted a lot here about my Goth Issues--about where or whether
I really belong here.  That night, Dranith told me, "You said you'd be out
of place here!  You're not at all--you look _extremely_ Goth!" and "You
look about 19 or something!"  Both comments took the ache out my boots for
hours!)
Of course, eventually Masochistic Religion took the stage.  Sorry, but the
Satan schtick doesn't go over too well with me.  (Comment made to Nate The
Gothic Bartender:  "It's Motley Crue!!!"  Not really, though: everything
was too slow for that comparison!)  Went up and checked the vendors, put
myself on a record label mailing list.  Noticing Cusraque (as if he
couldn't be noticed) chatting with some people, a rather odd notion hit
me:  Cusraque, to some extent, looks and comes across like
_Ian_Anderson_.  Note to Cusraque:  This is a _high_ compliment!  :)
The night done, we went back to the Executive, where The Mistaken Boots
Incident occurred (which Gru has described).  Then to bed for some sorely
needed sleep!

Panurgence II (Saturday--Monday) coming shortly!