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HOLY SHIT! Is this happening?! Is this shit still going?! Are we nearly done?! The answer is yes to all these things!

I am trying to post at a time that works better for the USA folks!

My computer is shit at the moment, so sorry if this mess is slow!

Let's do this hoobascotch!

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It's been a long time (as usual) between episodes. So as always if there is anything you want to clarify, or if there are any questions now is an amazing time to ask.

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Yay for the USA folks. *shakes fist at them*

We got our snazzy hat shot off and now about to get our face punched to custard.

So inventory check?

One Inventory check coming up!

A Bath Towel
A box of Kilojoule Buddytm
Some (now redundent) Commissar Collector Cards
A rubber
A Dataslate
Half a Jar of PEELZ
A laminated poster of SAPP
One dose of SLAUGHT
One dose of SPOOK

empty las pistol.

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As usual, AMAZING archives are kept here:
//nepeta.mozai.com/stories/BooneQuest/

the most recent episodes of which also explain the rules at the start, so feel free to catch up while I wrestle with an old computer, Australian internet and new sprites.

LUCKILY, either due to her ongoing experiences as a psyker or through sleep deprived maddness, BOONE is having visions of her dead squademates, who are going to offer her advice on her fist fight with SAPP!

REDDING, points out that the stance Sapp is using is that of a NOBLEBORN martial art, that you may have seen some of yourself. Apparently it is called 'JITENSHA'

*

BRANZ goes on to explain that every attack SAPP launches against you will be absolutely unstoppable, except with the appropriate stance of counter-attack.

Every move is faultless, save for one counter attack that can be used against it, which is devestating if employed. Basically, it's a designed for those that have studied and are sufficiently cultured.

If you can counter SAPPS named attacks with the appropriate named attack of your own, three times - you should have her beat. But if you respond with the wrong approach, she'll have you whittled down in about four attacks.

Do you get it?

*

>Quick! ask if he has a message for anyone!

BRANZ says's he's said all he want's to say in his short life and he has no regrets.

REDDING shrugs. "Tell Jonny not to blame herself, and that she's still cute as hell."

With that, they both fade back to the warp.

You turn to face SAPP, who seems to be ready.

Kinda like insult sword fighting?

A little bit. Hopefully people will catch on, or BOONE is barbeque!

>JITENSHA
So Sapp is the neighborhood bike?

SAPP is actually notoriously sex negative, but you're closer than you think!

*

SAPP lunges at you with a brutal first attack, in the back of your mind you have ONE VISION of this martial art being done before. You think you know the counter attack.

Time seems to slow down as her fist approaches your face.

*

GM: It's a call and response type thing. Crack the code, and you'll have her beat. But can you?

*

>Pepsi

Zero

Heroine

a-cola?

None of these proves to be right! You're not sure they even play into FEMALE MONARCH martial arts repertoire.

SAPP pastes you across the chops, then dances like a prize fighter as you struggle back to your feet.

*

Are her words in
part of the code?

I'm afraid not. FEMALE MONARCH. JITENSHA.
That's the line of thinking you need to pursue.

I know this is hard, but hey- final boss battle.

*

Barely giving you a chance to stand, SAPP launches at you with a devastating (but not shock amplified at least) kick!

*

Royce

Royce!

Royce

You side step SAPP's kick and jump into the air, raising your knee as high as you can and catching her square on the jaw!, She staggers, but stays standing.

*

WUH OH! Not only is she switching up differnt moves all over the place, but SAPP seems to be supercharging her gauntlets!

Think fast BOONE!

*

PLEASE

PLEASE

PLEASE

please

ZAN'EIKEN!

You put your comparatively sawn off stature to good use and duck SAPP's haymaker, elbowing her so hard you actually hear a crunch!

Also...it looks like SAPPS been overusing her gauntlets!!

*

SAPP spits out some blood and charges at you, enraged! She puts all she has into her final double fisted attack!!

*

JAYHUSUS

JESUS

Jesus

Jesus

You don't wanna be a candidate
For Vietnam or Watergate
Cos all I want to do is
BIIIIICYCLE KICK!

SAPP raises her arms in an attempt at defense but your well timed onslaught only further damages her gauntlets and her sternum!

*

All her wealth. All her manipulation. All her power. All her armor. None of it has stopped you.

SAPP finally staggers....
right over the pit you climbed out of to get here.

*

It's a long way down from the top, I guess. Based on your climb, it's gotta be at least 200 metres. At least.

It looks like she finally learned your name, though.

*

She might land on something dead and squishy...

go make sure she's dead. We don't take chances with heretics

Is there something heavy and not valuable nearby that we can throw after her?

I'm a little concerned she's alive, too. Anyway we can rally everyone here or find the location of her escape vehicle?

Well uh... even if she survived the fall. It seems UNLIKELY that she would survive the resulting explosion.

You feel the ground begin to move again. You can only assume that SAPPS FOUL XENOS GAUNTLETS exploding has triggered off something down with all the elctronics!

Rallying everyone else here would be too dangerous! You need to find a way out! This whole facility might blow! Starting with this house!!

You're in the foyer, you think you know where the front door is!

*

You run warp for leather to where you expect the front door to be, almost colliding with a friendly (ish) face running the other way!

*

R1

We've managed to avoid drowning!

>Press R1, quick!

Blink and you'll miss it! You see one of the rarest sights. A smile, not of battlelust or satisfaction but of relief and affection on the face of Conrad Raege.

Before she quickly snaps back to being all business.

Is she real? Check to make sure its not a Trick! is she talking and moving like our Connie?

It is unmistakably her. You can feel it. Also, I mean... WALDRIP was the one making those illusions and he's 3 types of dead at this point.

Sapp's dead now! What's happened?

'I lost sight of you and was worried you had ended up in the mansion by yourself so I fought my way here. Lost sight of the squad. I managed to get in through the front door but the building began to collapse as I entered. We need to find another way out."

She looks around for an exit, and bites her lip.

"Verygoodworkbytheway."

CONRAD has re-joined your party!

Let's find an exit!

(sorry the pic is a bit rough. I didnt expect you guys to catch the R1 reference! Had to draw fast! Gold star!!)

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Quick Alice, think, you grew up in a posh house, this is posh house. Where are the other exits? Sevants entrance, that kinda stuff? Next to kitchen maybe?

This place was designed by some sort of MEGASTALIN. It's almost a maze, but you're finding a way!

Ask if she knows of any other exits. I assume we've got the front one still covered.
Pretty qt.

"I saw a canyon that runs along side the mansion. If we can get to it, it'll lead us right to the shuttlebay with everyone else."

Thank her awkwardly.
For coming to our rescue, and for everything.

Then serious the fuck up because we are NOT letting our Connie die in here with us. Let's find that exit.

Maybe Our dear captain can have those lance battery crews he's so proud of cut us a way out once we figure out where in the facility we are so they don't drop the roof where we are standing my accident.

"I think...I think we've both rescued eachother today. But this isn't about keeping score.."

She looks you over.

"You're hurt."


You both run side by side till you reach a cul-de-sac. There seems to be a locked door to a SWEET BIKE GARAGE and another godamn pretty-sure-it's-copy-pasted-from-the-last-level ladder.

*

What are the pillz good for again?

GM: They restore 1d10 HP per dose. You have 3 doses left.

*

Powerfist the door!

Locked doors take too much time! Move move move

GM: Hey, you can't just...uhh.... Hmm. yeah that works.

Lacking any mind or patience for logic problems hastily cribbed off riddle websites, CONRAD punches the garage door clear off its sliders. You love it when she does that.

There is a SWEETISH BIKE there, that looks like it has a numpad start up. There is a NOTE on the fuel tank.

To the EAST WALL (the one you can't see) there is a massive, reinforced garage door, that looks as though it will open when the bike starts up.

*

Read the note, try to figure out what that hatch on the ceiling is for.

The hatch in the ceiling seems to be a burned out light, on closer inspection.

You observe the note. It seems to be scribble. But it probably means something.

Do either of us have guns?

Raege is carrying two guns, but says she wouldn't trust you not to be hurt by the recoil of either. You've heard rumours that she can only fire her custom autopistol by virtue of her bionic shoulder, so she may have a point.

She assures you she will keep you safe.

*

Atomic Number
Wolfram

74

Anon, if there are any flies on you they are paying RENT. Well done! The SWEETISH BIKE revs to life.

>Raege is carrying two guns
Then we should drive!

You clamber on to the revving bike excitedly. RAEGE picks you around the waist and places you in the sidecar. She seems actually, kind of amused.

Raege makes sure you think you're ready to go speeding through the canyon.

*

Rolled 1, 10, 3 = 14 (3d10)

You take the PEELZ
and eat the KILOUJOULE BUDDY

*

You had hoped for something more from the PEELZ, but with your PSY POINTS restored, you could still heal some more if you want to. You've felt worse.

There doesn't seem to be and helmets or goggles available for this bike. But based on the explosions from inside the house that are getting closer, appropriate road safety is the least of your concerns.

*

>Kiss her on the cheek.
>"For luck!"

Sconded

Fate, as ever, seems against you as you stand on tippy toes to give Conrad a small peck on the cheek, in perfect timing for her to check the magazine of her autopistol, resulting in you sort of awkwardly headbutting her wrist. You try to turn it into a quasi embrace and she turns back to the bike leaving you flailing in mid air.

CONRAD mentions that according to her COMMBEAD, everyone else besides the people who were on the tower and the TANK crew have boarded the first shuttle away from the facility, but that there is a second one standing by for everyone else.

Well, I wish we could save the water filter, but we've got to get out of here.

The planets water has already been saved. Don't worry. The destruction of this facility changes nothing.

*

Hahaha
Time to get to that shuttle!

Let's ride!

Let's burn rubber baby.

have the navy blast some holes in the roof and the side of the building facing away from the canyon and front so that the pressure of the explosion mainly escapes in those directions. less schrapnel to land on places where people are.

As the garage door opens in response to the SWEETISH BIKES activation you both clamber on board and tear off down through the canyon. It's actually kind of fun, but the height of the canyon walls, the narrowness of the path and the speed at which your travelling makes it impossible to relax.

>Cuddles
>Ohmi
Decisions, decisions.

People picked Cuddles Quest. All might get done eventually though.

Hey, are we boob people, or thigh people?

You put this question to CONRAD, who seems to give it genuine thought. "You're referring to eating chicken? I can't deny the lean efficient protein of breasts, but for taste I admit, I prefer sinking my teeth into some nice thigh."

*

As you speed through the canyon you rapidly approach an reinforced plasteel road barrier!!

I hope you still remember how to cast SPECTRAL HANDS!


GM: I am super slow, but I do intend to stick with you /tg/. The other Quests will likely be shorter than this, and have lest team mates for me to draw etc. Who knows?

*

To cast spectral hands, you need to beat is PSY THRESHOLD which is 7.

You need to roll dice+1d10+4(your current WILLPOWER BONUS) in the option field. Make sure you don't roll a nine, anon.

Good luck!

*

Rolled 7 + 4 (1d10 + 4)



Incoming 9

You've beaten a BETA LEVEL PSYKER, no crash barrier is going to stop you at this point! PFEH!

CONRAD APPROVES.

Anything else you want to mention before we speed off to the end of the level?

*

I love spaghetti

"It's okay. I prefer fettuccine myself. I like it when it sticks together and gets chewy."

Yes. There's one very important thing we need to address: We need a new hat.

Something with a different design though. To show when we are post boomequest

Boone, when we get out of this, I'll make sure Levy gets you the best hood his pie-stained fingers can requisition.

Ask her to drive more carefully!

Raege gives a little snicker.

I'm in for turning around and giving this place the finger
Only fitting that one hell of a ride ends with the very same

You do this. Raege notices in her peripheral vision and nods approvingly.

*

Ask how she feels about Tagliatelle with Pesto, Focaccia bread and Olive Oil.

"I've never eaten anything that fancy all at once."

>white, orange and green
flag of Ireland?

Tri-colur pasta, yo. It's nice.

Ask her if she has any Commisar cards to trade when you get back to the ship.

Ask her if she's got any decent rares.

"I don't like to know about other Commissars much."

LEVEL CLEAR!

Very good work, guys! Hope to see you for the next (and possibly final) BOONEQUEST some time this year. I'll figure out how to make the ending work.

Thanks for sticking with it!