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92

Chee Quest - Part Two - by Lagotrope

Shabin:

"A necromancer? You had her go out and fight a god damn necromancer?!

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93

Shabin:

"Like a trainwreck that hasn't been cleaned up! She just sits in our room all day staring at the wall!"

Why does it feel like I'm being watched.

  • Aww nuts. We got disconnected. I wonder why?
    Well. Hello Shabin. We're uh... guiding voices that normally speak to Chee. Now we're with you for some reason. I think if we got back to Chee she would recover. I dunno how to do that though.
    Also why is that guy speaking in olde english? Double also how come you look different from most kobolds?
  • Oh, that is just us. Chee's guiding voices. We kinda know why Chee is acting like that. Please promise not to freak out when we tell you.
  • Chee is genderless, unless this has changed. I suspect it may make them self-conscious to be referred to as such.
    Also, hi, we're your new crazy head voices.
  • Perhaps because you are being watched, Shabin.
    Have you heard Chee mention voices that guide him/her in his/her endeavors?
    That's us.
    ...or maybe we're just a mental construct of your own, trying to make you feel better or worse about something. Who knows! Isn't the unknown grand?
  • no, chee is just a child who doesn't know how to distinguish genders. Presumably during the medical examination and subsequent care (aka, vegetative individuals need to piss and shit too) someone saw.
  • If I recall correctly, it has been referred to before, when Chee was seen nude by the other wizard students, that there was nothing there.
  • Well, this is different. Hey Shabin, how's it going? Anything on Chee yet?
94

Shabin:

Sweet merciful what, either Chee's one mental mess or I just made one of myself!

Aww nuts. We got disconnected. I wonder why?

Well. Hello Shabin. We're uh... guiding voices that normally speak to Chee. Now we're with you for some reason. I think if we got back to Chee she would recover. I dunno how to do that though.

Also why is that guy speaking in olde english? Double also how come you look different from most kobolds?

I think he's seen one too many posh plays where kobolds act out humans. And what do you mean, "I look different?"

Chee is genderless, unless this has changed. I suspect it may make them self-conscious to be referred to as such.

Also, hi, we're your new crazy head voices.

She's wimpy, but I still don't want to call her an 'it'. I will judge by the eyelashes, but I know about her state.

Well, this is different. Hey Shabin, how's it going? Anything on Chee yet?

Nothing. It's been four days. Fraga found Chee and fake fencer there, dragged em back. Kradis was knocked out, but ultimately fine. Chee has been in... not a coma, but she doesn't respond to much. If you all really are her guiding voices... well, that's weird to me. But maybe you can tell me how to snap her out of it. I do know one thing, though: I've seen that look on Chee's face before. It's the face of someone who lost the will to live.

  • Being told you have no soul does that to a person.
  • That's... probably because the necromancer minion who attacked had its claws in Chee's body as (s)he was healing it to un-re-death, and it claimed that Chee had no soul.
    Chee must have taken that pretty hard. That, combined with the death and destruction Chee's already seen happen, and probably how it seems like the death and destruction is following him/her, well... you can see where a bit of depression may have set in.
  • Necromancer told her she didn't had a soul and that she was dead for about a year or so. Poor Chee is probably lost in her thought.
  • but make no mistake, chee is not a zombie or anything. more like a construct. like a golem.
  • Oh don't worry, it's nothing bad. Your eyes just have a sharper look to them.
    As for Chee being comatose she might be in shock because the necromancer convinced her that she has no soul.
  • Pish posh. Will to live? Girl is already dead.
  • You must give him a reason to live.
    A sexy reason
  • ...Oh. Well, in that case, we do know what the problem is. She found out in her battle with the necromancer that her body died a year ago and she doesn't have a soul. We think she might have been turned into a homunculus or a flesh golem or something, and that she was given us to help her make decisions. She's not any less of a person, though, and we need you to go reassure her of that.
  • Something very damaging was said by the necromancer Chee defeated. It said she "had no soul". Perhaps it is possible that Chee believes she is now 'dead'?
    Has anyone tried cheering her up? Maybe Chee would be happy to see that Kradis and Fraga are okay.
  • Not to mention feelings and self-will. Chee is probably one the nicest people you will ever meet. Seriously, we tried to explain that to her but what she needs right now is a friend to tell her that she isn't some kind of abomination.
  • Your eyes are less... beady, and you're taller. That guy that found Chee was really huge too, what's up with that?
95

Shabin:

....ah. Fraga and Kradis have both made a couple of visits to her, so she knows they're well. I think. It's hard to tell, she barely even looked at them. We've mostly given her space, time to rest, that sort of thing.

No soul, huh. Necromancers... it's not like I trust them, but from the way it sounds, it seems like it had little reason to lie.

Maybe you're right. Maybe it's encouragement. It's just not my forte, you know? All I've really done is shove food and water down her throat just to keep her going.

Oh don't worry, it's nothing bad. Your eyes just have a sharper look to them.

As for Chee being comatose she might be in shock because the necromancer convinced her that she has no soul.

...they are? Come to think of it, I don't think I've ever seen my eyes. I've only heard about mirrors. Oh, and water too, but this IS a cave after all, there's not much reflecting going on. Also, you must be referring to chop. Nothing special about him. Well, maybe "special." He's just huge.

"Ahem."

96

Shabin:

"The Headmaster of Magic speaks. Shabin. You were asked three questions. You appear suddenly distraught. Go, fix Chee, she was put under your care. Do not dissappoint me. The Headmaster of Magic has spoken."

Alright then, voices. This isn't my forte, like I said. What should I do for Chee? I'm not really into presents or comforting words or.. things.

  • Chee, according to the necromancer, lacks a soul. As 'she' was said by the necromancer to have once had a soul, that likely rules out construct. Which means 'she' is some form of undead. Except, 'she' also appears to be naturally adept at healing magic. And who ever heard of an undead healer? So, really, we have no idea what Chee is.
    One question. Before we left, Chee spotted another person who pointed at 'her', and 'she' immediately deduced they were a necromancer due to the aura around them. Are any Kobolds around here delving into the dark arts?
  • The necromancer told Chee a few things before it was turned to so much ash.
    The first is that Chee has no soul.
    The second is that Chee died more than a year ago.
    The third is that Chee's body is still alive somehow.
    Also, the zombies that were milling around the necromancer were the people from Chee's last village.
    What Chee needs right now is to be consoled. Hugs would help, as well as other tactile signs of affection. She also needs somebody to tell her to stop being upset over what the necromancer said - she has strange mental quirks in place.
    Oh, by the way, why were you shaking the night before the attack?
  • I-is that? Is his beard.... *snrrrrrkkk* it's taped on isn't it!
    (sorry, sorry!) Yeah, guess we'll go check on Chee then. Maybe bring some more food and drink if she hasn't had any recently. Maybe even wine or ale if you can. Anything to get her talking. You gotta figure out what's on her mind.
  • Let's try shock therapy! Pucker up! Smooch smooooooooooch~ ...or maybe whap upside the head and drag out somewhere. Whichever seems more appealing to you~
  • yeah, has anyone TRIED a hug? if not then may as well give it a shot. and say that her soul was probably so big that the necromancer couldn't get his hand around it so was confused and dumb.
  • sorry about some of the other voices. there really isn't any quality control on our end so some of us are idiots, and most of us are perverts. By he way,what is chop's deal? He more or less jumped chee when he met her. Is that normal?
  • Ok that stupid beard has to be pulled off at some point. As for Chee I say go for thisHowever if that doesn't work then something more extreme needs to be done. Chee's in shock, and she's shutdown, most likely to avoid the feelings she's having. You need to find a way to push her out of it, either by getting she to feel positive emotion or by getting her to realize she still cares about something. the first can be done by getting her to use her magic to help someone. The second can be done by making her believe that she, or someone she knows, is in danger. I think you could do both at once having someone get convincingly hurt in front of her, with no-one else around to help.
  • By the way, this is slightly unrelated to the problem at hand, but Chee totally jumped on the necromancer's face and HEALED him to death. It was Awesome. Also, the necromancer was apparently another necromancer's minion or something.
  • Yeah, and beat the snot out of her (literally). Is everyone treated that way? Or did he like, grow up reading Grog the Destroyer or something and is a bit like our friend in the goofy feather-hat?
97

Shabin:

Chee, according to the necromancer, lacks a soul. As 'she' was said by the necromancer to have once had a soul, that likely rules out construct. Which means 'she' is some form of undead. Except, 'she' also appears to be naturally adept at healing magic. And who ever heard of an undead healer? So, really, we have no idea what Chee is.

One question. Before we left, Chee spotted another person who pointed at 'her', and 'she' immediately deduced they were a necromancer due to the aura around them. Are any Kobolds around here delving into the dark arts?

A necromancer? Here? We may not keep formal records, but we keep a close eye on each other. We don't have anyone like that in this cave.

whap upside the head

I've tried this. Nothin'.

tactile consolation

I... don't. Do that. I just wanted to mine. Wail on some rocks. None of this therapy business.

sorry about some of the other voices. there really isn't any quality control on our end so some of us are idiots, and most of us are perverts. By he way,what is chop's deal? He more or less jumped chee when he met her. Is that normal?

That's not normal. Chop isn't normal. The less I have to think about chop the better.

98

Shabin:

I-is that? Is his beard.... *snrrrrrkkk* it's taped on isn't it!

(sorry, sorry!) Yeah, guess we'll go check on Chee then. Maybe bring some more food and drink if she hasn't had any recently. Maybe even wine or ale if you can. Anything to get her talking. You gotta figure out what's on her mind.

Everyone knows his beard is ridiculous. But the wizard isn't as much of a joke. There are some real gruesome tales out there for anyone who said this to his face.

The necromancer told Chee a few things before it was turned to so much ash.

The first is that Chee has no soul.

The second is that Chee died more than a year ago.

The third is that Chee's body is still alive somehow.

Also, the zombies that were milling around the necromancer were the people from Chee's last village.

What Chee needs right now is to be consoled. Hugs would help, as well as other tactile signs of affection. She also needs somebody to tell her to stop being upset over what the necromancer said - she has strange mental quirks in place.

Oh, by the way, why were you shaking the night before the attack?

Shaking? I was not shaking. I was sleeping. Do not bring this up again.

yeah, has anyone TRIED a hug? if not then may as well give it a shot. and say that her soul was probably so big that the necromancer couldn't get his hand around it so was confused and dumb.

No one's tried a hug. It seemed rather inappropriate.

Well, here I am. Just the other side of the door. I wish I could say I had an ounce of desire to do this.

  • Chee died and is still alive.
    Her previous two homes were destroyed.
    Necromancy and death seem to follow her everywhere.
    And now a mysterious necromancer that nobody else knows about shows up in the middle of the village without being detected just before Chee finds the vile construct of a second necromancer.
    I am wondering if this necromancer of ours is the one who brought Chee back.
  • Well there definitely a necromancer in here when Chee was on her way to the statue four days ago. It had a kobold skeleton with horns on its head, robes, and an aura that wasn't moving. When Chee asked it where the statue was, it just jerkily pointed at Chee who then ran away from it and luckily ended up at the statue.
  • it's called ya gotta do what you gotta do. be ready for a LOT of crying. but after that she should be good to at least start moving around on her own again.
  • Boy you better build up some desire then quick. Because once we get involved in something then it means life is about to get crazy. If you enjoy continued breathing you better figure out what the necromancers are up to.
  • You're angry... why? You have a secret, too, don't you.
    Maybe that's what Chee needs: someone to confide in.
100

Shabin:

You're angry... why? You have a secret, too, don't you.

Maybe that's what Chee needs: someone to confide in.

Don't we all.

Boy you better build up some desire then quick. Because once we get involved in something then it means life is about to get crazy. If you enjoy continued breathing you better figure out what the necromancers are up to.

I'm a girl.

Well there definitely a necromancer in here when Chee was on her way to the statue four days ago. It had a kobold skeleton with horns on its head, robes, and an aura that wasn't moving. When Chee asked it where the statue was, it just jerkily pointed at Chee who then ran away from it and luckily ended up at the statue.

I'm telling you, we don't have anyone like that around.

Chee died and is still alive.

Her previous two homes were destroyed.

Necromancy and death seem to follow her everywhere.

And now a mysterious necromancer that nobody else knows about shows up in the middle of the village without being detected just before Chee finds the vile construct of a second necromancer.

I am wondering if this necromancer of ours is the one who brought Chee back.

This, along with everyone's elses saying of this, is why I'm getting so impressed that she's nice. So nice it pisses me off.

That's why this is so hard. That's why I'm stalling. I guess I preached toughness to her so hard as soon as she woke up on me, it's time to reflect it. I'm going to feel like smacking her as soon as I see her. Or him or them or god, whatever. Here goes.

  • I think part of the reason that Chee is in a somewhat comatose state is that WE are not with him/her. We help Cheelop operate, and since for some reason we're in YOUR head at the moment, it's like Chee is missing his/her operating system. So go inside and put your hand on Chee, maybe we can transfer over or something.
    Also how do you people know what a trainwreck is? What exactly is the technology level outside?
99

Shabin:

"Hello, Chee. You're looking fantastic."

Yep. I want to smack her.

  • You could just tell her to pull herself together and do something. I mean, what if we're going about this all wrong? Go be rough, giver her a good shake! Yell at her, tell her everything's alright now and that she should accept it.
    Besides, might feel kinda nice. Oh, and tell her that hat's silly and a beret is really more her style.
  • Ok the boy part of that was a figure of speech. Of course we know you are a girl. What with the seeing through clothes and all.
  • could also say "you have been moping so much your fucking head voices are bothering me to make you snap out of it! cry get upset, get angry, get happy, get SOMETHING!!
  • do it
  • She once said that there was some part of her that needed to be told what to do. So tell her to do something. Like, tell her to get herself washed.
  • Sit beside Chee and simply watch her. Mention the insane voices in your head claiming to be a vital component of Chee's consciousness. Give her lots of time. Mine away some more of your room. Just be near her for a while.
    Also pinch her nose shut.
  • Oh fffffffffffffffffffizgig.
    Without us bothering her... she shut down. Quick! Shabin! I dunno, but do something!
101

Shabin:

I think part of the reason that Chee is in a somewhat comatose state is that WE are not with him/her. We help Cheelop operate, and since for some reason we're in YOUR head at the moment, it's like Chee is missing his/her operating system. So go inside and put your hand on Chee, maybe we can transfer over or something.

Also how do you people know what a trainwreck is? What exactly is the technology level outside?

This actually makes sense. But if the lack of voices leaves her at such a shell, then what exactly is Chee on her own?

Also, those dwarves. Don't get me wrong I've never actually seen a train, but I hear it's like a chain of minecarts meant for enormous mining procedures. I don't know how they work, but they're more technological than what we've got, for sure.

Ok the boy part of that was a figure of speech. Of course we know you are a girl. What with the seeing through clothes and all.

I sure hope you like being ignored.

You could just tell her to pull herself together and do something. I mean, what if we're going about this all wrong? Go be rough, giver her a good shake! Yell at her, tell her everything's alright now and that she should accept it.

could also say "you have been moping so much your fucking head voices are bothering me to make you snap out of it! cry get upset, get angry, get happy, get SOMETHING!!

"Chee! Do something, already! Get mad at me, damnit! Anything, anything at all!"

I admit, shaking her around always feels nice, but it would feel even better if it did anything.

Sit beside Chee and simply watch her. Mention the insane voices in your head claiming to be a vital component of Chee's consciousness. Give her lots of time. Mine away some more of your room. Just be near her for a while.

Also pinch her nose shut.

You had me until 'pinch her nose shut.'

  • Maintain contact with Chee and WILL the voices in your head (us) into her. Concentrate and try to make us heard by him/her/it.
    Helloooooo Cheeeeeee...!
  • say "as your superior i ORDER you to stand up!"
  • Gonna try something.
    [switch to Cheelop]
  • Well the weird thing is that Chee has got along fine without us telling her what to do before. Personally, I think she has just gone into a kind of catatonic shock.
  • Ooh Ooh! I got an idea that probably might not be terrible!
    Lie to her and say that she bears an uncanny similarity to some one you knew that died a few years back.
    Nothing could go wrong.
  • That is a terrible idea.
102

Shabin:

"Come on, your voices are bothering the hell out of me! Take em back, that is an ORDER. I took your hat, by the way, the only thing that doesn't make you look totally pathetic!"

"...Sh..Shabin?"

"Yeah, I'm here!"

"......"

"Keep going."

"......"

"No, I mean keep talking."

"......"

"Goddamnit, I'm losing her again. I will take your ears off too if you don-"

Oh. Fuck. Fuckfuckfuck. How do I turn you guys off. Like, right now. I need you goes oh eff eff OFF. Or at least to look away. How do I get you guys to do that?!

  • There we go! No tell her to stop sitting around like a lump and freakin' get cleaned up. She's probably starting to smell or something and if she doesn't go learn more magic, she won't be any use.
    (And besides, it's boring having a roomie who doesn't do anything!)
  • Well, we will try.
    [Shift focus away]
  • You've already done it. If you command our sight off, it goes off. One of our few limitations.
    Why, what are you doing?
  • already happening, we switched to looking through your eyes. just don't look at yourself and we wont see.
  • Chee: Do not respond.
  • We're actually a pseudo-omniscient entity. Well, sorta. But if you're just gonna do something "drastic" like kiss her, we won't tell anyone.
    it'll just prompt lots of embarrassing fan-art~ =w=
  • You don't. Why? Are you having another one of those episodic flip outs? Or do you just need to use the bathroom?
  • Cheelop once said to us that he/she feels the need to be told what to do, and he/she only responded when you took that firm tone of voice. Perhaps try it again, try being direct and authoritative, telling Chee precisely what to do.
    ...please don't molest our kobold
  • We really don't have control over it, to be honest. We just kinda go wherever fate takes us.
  • Our control is less than stellar, but we can try to look away.
    Do what you have to do.
    We are not actually going to look away.
  • We turn off when we're not needed. Like when Chee was learning how to cast heal, we turned off. When she was traveling, we turned off. When she was asleep, we turned off.
103

Shabin:

already happening, we switched to looking through your eyes. just don't look at yourself and we wont see.

Oh, g-good. You're seeing through my eyes? Keep it like that, please. I'm trying to concentrate really hard right now on how to fix this, and it's hard when you're all staring. I-It's not like I care too much or anything.

  • Good idea! Chee's bound to respond with that crying.
  • SHHHH! Dude!Maybe she responded to talking about her hat. Show it to her and tell her that she can only have it back if she snaps out of it and starts talking again.
  • [shush the voice]
  • I think hugs are best at this point
    Tentatively
  • I'm sorry but we don't control when we are on or off, nor do we control who we are talking to.
  • I'm so sorry for your loss.
104

Shabin:

Good idea! Chee's bound to respond with that crying.

..y-yeah. Just an idea. Don't think it means anything.

I think hugs are best at this point

Tentatively

Maybe a small one.

"Hey, Chee? You remember how you said you liked my pick axe? What I meant to say afterward was 'thank you'."

"...you're welcome."

! "And, I'll give you your hat back if you get back to normal!"

"... where did I get that hat?"

  • Looks like she's coming out of it. Just keep talking to her.
  • ...the same place you got the loincloth you're wearing? But perhaps Chee's onto something. We, the voices/spirits/whatever, were never present when Chee got the hat. Perhaps it has some connection to Cheelop's... condition?
  • ...I don't know where the hat came from. We never asked and she never mentioned it... Crapola. Ummm... maybe she made it? Or did she get it as a gift?
    Suggest that someone gave it to her.
  • dunno. you were wearing it when the voices started talking.
  • "I don't know, Chee, you arrived with it"
    ... because we don't know either; he showed up with it on the first time
  • "Uh to make you feel better...you were really great out there, kicking necromancer butt...nice work...ha...ha...ha?"
  • You could ask her how she got the hat...
  • ((Wait, is this a Reaver quest? Or am I getting a false positive from the 'suddenly, tsundere'?))
    Hey, just keep doing what you're doing for now, but when you get a chance, you should probably have Chee get looked at by some of your magicky folks. In addition to the mystery of what, exactly, Chee is, there are some pretty big gaps in its memory; if you have anybody who's good at mind magic, maybe there are answers to be found with a bit of digging.
    For now, though, stick with the TLC. And no pervert stuff *'looking' at the other voices*. Gender issues aside, Chee's still a kid emotionally and is only looking for the platonic sort of love.
105

Shabin:

You could ask her how she got the hat...

I doubt she'd ask if she knew. Something's wrong. At least one of you mentioned that you all become unaware when she's asleep or otherwise unaware, as well. That makes sense. But something could be very, very wrong, and none of you would know it. Excuse me. I'm sure, living in Chee, you've all had nearly free reign, but there is something I have to see on my own. Of course, it seems like you'll be there as well.

"Chee. I'm going to borrow your hat."

"J, just bring it back..."

106

Shabin:

And no, I have no intention of doing anything pervered. How I even could on someone such as herself, I don't know.

107

Shabin:

"Chop!"

"The rock eater addresses me?"

"When you found Chee, did you bring her hat with you?"

"The puny one looked all the more pathetic with such a weak hat. It has been left to rot, arrowed to the tree of its defeat, no better to defend itself than this miniscule kobold beneath me now."

108

Shabin:

That was the long shot. This whole scenario would have seemed implausible, but, when Fraga came back with Chee and Kradis..."

  • ...Wait...if the hat is still stuck to that tree...where the hell did this thing come from?!
109

Shabin:

"Fraga! When you came back with Chee, did she have her hat?!"

"Oh, not at all dude. Sorry, it totally slipped my mind, but if y- whoa, you got it back?! Man, that's dangerous, it was out where... you know."

"Forget about it."

  • THE HAT IS FOLLOWING CHEE OR SOMETHING
110

Shabin:

I wish I knew.

  • chee had it on when she LEFT the place. what's face, with the hat may know.
  • specifically, the hat with the feather on it and has the sword.
  • Oh, cool magical hat. Probably better to take it to the wizard dude, when it comes to weird magical shit then it's usually better to turn immediatly to someone who knows magic.
  • O... k...
    I don't know if this is good or bad.
    The hat could be cursed so that it will follow Chee wherever she goes, but that might not be a bad thing if ALL it does is follow Chee around.
    It also might contain Chee's soul, making Chee some sort of Living Lich.
    Talk to the wizard! He might be able to research this!
  • Can any of the wizards around here do anything about false memories? It is becoming increasingly likely that Chee has a lot of them.
    Looking back on our memories, Chee has been able to function both with and without the hat, so it seems unlikely the hat serves some vital function. We might want to give the hat to one of the wizards for monitoring, and see if they can catch it being transported back.
  • that is a horribly good point
    none of us were watching out for a HAT
    that's pretty sinister
  • Uh... wut?
    Does the hat have an arrow hole in it?
111

Shabin:

Can any of the wizards around here do anything about false memories? It is becoming increasingly likely that Chee has a lot of them.

O... k...

I don't know if this is good or bad.

The hat could be cursed so that it will follow Chee wherever she goes, but that might not be a bad thing if ALL it does is follow Chee around.

It also might contain Chee's soul, making Chee some sort of Living Lich.

Oh, cool magical hat. Probably better to take it to the wizard dude, when it comes to weird magical shit then it's usually better to turn immediatly to someone who knows magic.

Yeah, yeah. The wizard is a good idea. Our room is on the way, though. Let me just check in. Maybe take a breather. This is an awful lot to soak in at once. I'm trying to think, here... She didn't have a hat when she came back, I know that. I didn't even know she had a hat, then.

I was getting told what went on in that mission. As soon as I learned about the necromancer, you guys popped in, and informed me yourselves about that. Up to then, I was told much of it.

To make order.. Chop must have seen the hat first. Fraga said he retrieved her things for the scouting mission, but possibly never saw her with her hat. Fraga didn't leave with them, and she didn't put on her hat till leaving, according to Kradis. At which point him and Pakin were the ones to see her wear a hat. Pakin is another mystery, obviously.

Chee didn't have her hat until Kradis' visited after the mission. I thought he gave her her hat back, but Fraga should have known if Kradis had the hat.

Oh, gods. This is all as I understand it, if I even got the story right. It just seems like she got her hat when someone came by that knows that she wears-

112

Shabin:

-a hat.

"Welcome back, Shabin. I think you forgot my hat. I hope you didn't need it too much. I'm feeling better, now."

113

Shabin:

  • WHAT! THE! FUCK!
    But... How... You just... My metaphorical head hurts.
  • Oh dear...
    Clingy objects are generally not benevolent...
    You have a problem.
    That hat must be analysed, I'm not sure destroying it would even do anything.
    This is important, does it have an arrow hole?, if it does, then it is just moving by itself.
    If it doesn't, that is much worse, cause then it isn't just moving about.
    Reapeating this, stay calm, and get the hat looked at.
    Freaking out can be done later, in private.
  • "...No, I have it right here in my- WHAT THE FUCK?!"
  • "I didn't forget your hat, Chee. I took it with me. I had it in my hand when I was about to open the door.
    How long has that hat been on your head?
    Also excuse me, let me check something."
    You believe Chee is a girl. Girls have girl parts. Look for Chee's girl parts.
  • NO CHANCES THIS TIME.
    Take Chee with you. Urgently find head mage person. Freak out profusely.
  • Is the hat you were carrying still there, or did it disappear when you opened the door? This is very important.
    If the hat you had is still there, it fits my theory see the discussion thread. To summarize, some force saw Chee, and is returning Chee to that state as some kind of regeneration. It saw Chee with the hat, so it regenerates the hat. It did not see the parts of Chee that were covered by clothing, so those parts were not regenerated, leaving Chee genderless.
  • InI see no hat, but I guess it could be magic weirdness.
    Still, I suspect it's just no longer in her hands and has moved to his head.
    Either way, Chee's having weird memories - other people saw and commented on the hat, so it definitely was with her and not on his head.
    Unless the hat DOES regenerate or whatever (and so Chee did have a hat on his head that was separate to the hat Shabin was running around with), in which case, why did the hat Shabin was holding disappear?
  • She might have just dropped it in surprise. That is what I was trying to ask about.
114

Shabin:

Oh dear...

Clingy objects are generally not benevolent...

You have a problem.

That hat must be analysed, I'm not sure destroying it would even do anything.

This is important, does it have an arrow hole?, if it does, then it is just moving by itself.

If it doesn't, that is much worse, cause then it isn't just moving about.

Reapeating this, stay calm, and get the hat looked at.

Freaking out can be done later, in private.

No kidding, I have a problem! There's no arrow hole, it looks completely new!

Is the hat you were carrying still there, or did it disappear when you opened the door? This is very important.

If the hat you had is still there, it fits my theory see the discussion thread. To summarize, some force saw Chee, and is returning Chee to that state as some kind of regeneration. It saw Chee with the hat, so it regenerates the hat. It did not see the parts of Chee that were covered by clothing, so those parts were not regenerated, leaving Chee genderless.

It disappeared from my hand as soon as I saw it on her head.

"I didn't forget your hat, Chee. I took it with me. I had it in my hand when I was about to open the door.

How long has that hat been on your head?

Also excuse me, let me check something."

You believe Chee is a girl. Girls have girl parts. Look for Chee's girl parts.

I'm aware of her genderless state! I just don't want to keep on saying he slash she, it, or refer her to her by name all the time.

"I brought the hat, Chee. I had it in my hand until I opened the door to see you. How long as it been on your head?"

"As long as anyone can remember."

"... I'm going to bring you to the wizards. You aren't yourself. You're not Chee. You're not even close!"

  • Ask Chee if she ever saw herself bleed. Ask if she ever got wounded and, if she did, how soon the wounds healed.
  • Yeah.... Chee's a Revenant or something. That hat is part of Chee, and therefore simply reappears. Hmm. Welp, the Wizard is a good plan. Or a Cleric. Or a Druid. Or SOMETHING.
  • Ah, no. I didn't mean to imply you were unaware.
    You said her hat was missing until people who knew of it observed her. It's possible that Chee literally IS what people expect her to be.
    Also? This IS Chee. She's acting strange because she's not all together at the moment. We're functionally a part of her mind, and while we're in your body we aren't in hers.
    Please do bring her to the wizards though; she needs help, and I think taking down a necromancer should secure her at least that much consideration.
115

Shabin:

Ask Chee if she ever saw herself bleed. Ask if she ever got wounded and, if she did, how soon the wounds healed.

Sure. "Uh, Chee have you ever seen ----"

"You just said I'm not Chee. Chee died over a year ago. I am not Chee."

  • Sure it's Chee. But yeah, getting the wizard to look at this is a good idea. Something is fucked up here.
  • Inform Chee that he IS Chee, and yell at him to stay with you dammit while hugging him. And running toward the Wizard. While internally monologing about what a bastard he is for sending an untrained soldier to give someone therapy.
  • Oh crap, looks like it's existential doubt. Better reaffirm the belief that it's truly Chee and nothing permanent is wrong.
  • "What? No! I meant that you're not acting like yourself! You ARE Chee, but you're unwell. I want to have the wizards look you over to make sure the necromancer didn't do anything to you.
    ... Er... you're looking kinda magically smudged, Chee. Are you feeling ok?"
    Pick her up and carry her in your arms. Normally I'd say piggyback, but you want to be able to keep your eyes on her constantly.
  • Just tell it that you don't care what it is, it is what it wants to be, what feels right to it.It still remembers all the things it did, and those must count for something at least. After all isn't your actions that dictate who you are, Regardless of race or form?
    That being said, being roughly kobold-sized would help with ergonomics.
  • i don't think telling chee that s/he's chee is going to help much right now
    i propose we ftfo
  • Supporting this.
  • Okay, no. you need to tell Chee that no matter what some necromancer said, she's NOT dead. You met her only like a day ago, and then she did the mage training, and Chee can't be dead because Chee did those things.
  • Light protect us, this is going to be like hammering against a rubber wall.
  • Slap the stupid out of that 'bold and tell her that she isn't dead because she isn't done here yet.
116

Shabin:

I have no idea what's going on, but I think I just fucked up.

"I take it back! You're Chee! You're Chee! You're Chee! I don't even care if you're something else! But you're not dead! I don't carry dead people around!"

I think I just fucked up hard.

"Hey, shabin... what am I?"

  • "What are you? You're important! And awesome! And alive, very much alive!
    You're alive! Please don't leave me!"
  • You are a being with a mission.
  • (someone ought to mod Kusaa to support editing one of these days)
    We can't rely on random adjectives ATM.
    Guilt trip her into staying around.
  • You are a fucking adorable genderless kobold and and and
    goddammit woman find a way to get us in there!!!
    everyone try to switch to chee at the same time or something
  • "It doesn't matter what you are! There are people who care about you here! -I- care about you! So you can't leave, please don't leave!"
  • "A good person. Someone who saves lives. We need you Chee".
  • Run quicker to the mage. And tell her that she is a 'bold.
  • "You're my friend, Chee! That's all that matters!"
117

Shabin:

"You're important! You're awesome and most importantly alive!"

...am I actually only answering based on what all of you are saying?

"I'll never forgive you if you go, now!"

I'm not supposed to be this sappy. I'm starting to act like Chee. I've got to get you voices in her, but I don't even know what you are!

"You're adorable and genderless!"

"Shabin! Over here!"

"A good person! I don't care what you are, even!"

It's like I'm assimilating with these voices.

  • Oh, that's probably not good either. Even quicker, to the wizard, explain what's going on and as him to get his wizarding on.
  • resistance is truly futi- whoa. deja vu.
    if you're done being all tragic like, bring Chee over to inspection.
  • Maybe if you wore the hat briefly, then put it on her?
  • Yeeaaah, um, while we generally try to help out who we're connected to, I don't really know what we actually are, or what effect we have on you.
  • Then again, maybe we're just getting you to open up. Being a stoic hardass isn't very good for your emotional health.
  • Chee's state and the hat are linked, I believe. If anything, it is quite possible the hat is a "part" of her -- assuming this necromancer was right, perhaps it is some form of phylactery?
    Ooooor more likely some horribly cursed object that has maligned her through weird stuff to do with her past. Dunno.
    But sweet cave-bajeezus we gotta figure out what's wrong! But keep talking, that seems to be working.
  • Hmm. Cheelop is also a wizard. May as well remind her of that.
  • He's a hologram. Taking anything from him, like his loincloth or hat, won't work because they're not really material: they'll just return to him later. Likewise, the hologram isn't advanced enough to deal with multiple layers, like figuring out what sort of gender bits he has, which is why there's nothing under his loincloth.
    This begs the question: where's the real Chee?
  • Okay
    Now I'm starting to wonder just what role we actually play
    Regardless you still haven't told Chee that s/he's a kobold! Also seconding reminding that s/he's a wizard.
    Also go with Fraga!
  • She's a kobold, of course.
    And tell her that if she's missing her soul, well, we'll just have to go and find it, won't we?
    Also: Consult Wizard.
  • Hipster Shabin should tell Chee that souls are too mainstream.
118

Shabin:

resistance is truly futi- whoa. deja vu.

if you're done being all tragic like, bring Chee over to inspection.

It's interesting. I'm certain that not one hour ago, I would've slapped her and told her to quit being a wuss. And now look at me! I'm bawling my eyes out while being told what to do!

But I don't have time to talk to her.

I tell everything to the wizards. Every fact I know, about all the voices, everything I've seen, everything. They, of course, take her back, and it feels like hours pass until the headmaster finally comes out.

"I am sorry. It is far beyond my understanding. The necromancer was correct, she died one year ago. I could not begin to fathom the various magic that leans against each other, all working to keep her body walking as though alive. All I know is that it was a miracle that she has lasted this long. It seems to be collapsing all around her now, and those voices were either expelled, or escaped, and whatever binds those voices together leapt to the nearest available host."

  • Well, if Beardo is right, that means one of two things: either Chee is held together by us, or we're a by-product. Either way, we're not there and Chee is breaking.
    Ask Captain Facial-Fluff if he knows of any spells to put us back in?
119

Shabin:

"Hey, dude... you gonna be okay? You look like..."

I wonder what Chee saw in any magic. Apparently it's fickle enough to dissipate from being told you don't have a soul.

"Hey, Shabin?" Maybe if you wore the hat briefly, then put it on her?

I did take off her hat. It'll probably go back to her soon. Hm.

  • ...put it on?
  • Hug him. Not for his sake, but yours: you look pretty awful.
  • yeah, put it on.
120

Shabin:

yeah, put it on.

Yeah, why not. I guess Chee won't be needing it.

Hug him. Not for his sake, but yours: you look pretty awful.

I don't find Fraga very huggable.

  • Okay, you're gonna need to talk to Fraga.
    What's his deal? Isn't it to be expected that it's disconcerting when your new roommate starts dissipating before your eyes? Let alone the whole soulless, dead, and genderless parts. That's pretty disconcerting too.
  • answer Fraga before he loses his shit, too.
  • Give the hat back to Chee. If she passes away then you're stuck with us, and it makes it more likely that the hat alongside with us is a horrible curse and you will have to leave this place. So get that hat back onto her head and tell her to pull herself together.
  • On reflection, with all the strange things going on, I'm getting less and less confident that what just happened actually happened.
    Maybe ask Fraga what's going on?
    I dunno. Whatever you want to say or ask. It's probably best to say something, at least.
  • Did you tell them about the hat?
    Hmm. You know... Chee said that her parents said she was sick and "needed to be brought elsewhere", but didn't seem to want to talk to her about it. Then there's a gap in her memory, and after that her parents left. I think her parents did something. Or got someone to do something.
    She stayed with a dragon for a while after that, but got kicked out- the dragon called her a 'parasite on the earth'.
    Do you think it might be a good idea to ask the dragon what's going on?
121

Shabin:

Okay, you're gonna need to talk to Fraga.

answer Fraga before he loses his shit, too.

I suppose so.

"Sorry, Fraga. I'm just lost in thought. I guess I took Chee's case harder than I normally would."

"....."

"...ignoring me back? I don't mind, I probably deserve it."

Did you tell them about the hat?

Hmm. You know... Chee said that her parents said she was sick and "needed to be brought elsewhere", but didn't seem to want to talk to her about it. Then there's a gap in her memory, and after that her parents left. I think her parents did something. Or got someone to do something.

She stayed with a dragon for a while after that, but got kicked out- the dragon called her a 'parasite on the earth'.

Do you think it might be a good idea to ask the dragon what's going on?

Oh. How interesting. I might have been all for that, for four days up until an hour or two ago.

  • aw fuck, aw fuck. fraga is melting. necromancer in the base! get inside that door and close it!
  • oh for fuck's sake what is this fucking fuckery
  • Take that hat off, like, yesterday.
  • Shabin, for your own good, fucking RUN. Fraga is about to die and something very evil has made its way into the base.
    And I think it's that goddamned hat.
  • why the FUCK would it be the hat? it is probably just related to whatever magic made chee keep moving after death.
    also she may just be super hungry, she still eats, even if it's just a little.
  • OH NOOOOOOOOOO! It's the annihilating magical death field! NOT AGAIN! CALL THE WIZARD!
  • NOOOO NOT FRAGA! HE'S TO COOL TO DIE!!!
  • Fraggles was always the coolest dude, dude.
  • make like a banana tree goddammit.
  • Chee wore the hat when Pakin died. It appeared back on her head right before then.
    The hat killed Pakin. And maybe even Chee.
  • I'm not buying it. There's a necromancer in here, and that probably means the safest place to be is outside the base, despite the possible kobold zombie horde.
    Run, Shabin, RUN!
  • Go grab Chee and run, Fraga is being necromanced.
122

Shabin:

"Fraga?!"

I- what? What is going on?!

[b]

"This is odd. I am unable to procure this kobold's death as easily as my predecessor. This change of power is unexpected. Where are you, Chee."

  • Oh. Shit. RUN.
  • grab fragga and run! hold up the hat like a shield from the necromancer!!
  • I thought I told you to make like a banana tree. so why aren't you?
    a) you aren't our bitch after all.
    b) you are stupid.
    c) both.
  • Ah... looks like the crazy necromancer man made a new minion. This can't be good.
  • and yes grabbing fragga is important. he isn't dead yet just locked in place because of the spell being cast on it. his magic skill is probably letting him resist it. and then run to chee and.. i dunno. give her some of your blood. would give her more life-force or something.
  • Oh fuck, this is bad. Quickly, get to Chee and tell her that no matter what else she might be, she's the only one that can defend this place from necromancers. She's real and she is needed.
123

Shabin:

Oh fuck, this is bad. Quickly, get to Chee and tell her that no matter what else she might be, she's the only one that can defend this place from necromancers. She's real and she is needed.

I-I don't even know if Chee is alive! She was just down that hall!

Ah-ah?! GAHHHHH!!

"Ah, the hat. There you are, Chee. Your lower level of magic did not let me siphon off enough from you to slay this one, as you can see. Why is that? How does one become weaker in your position?

A-and it thinks I'm Chee because of this hat?

I thought I told you to make like a banana tree. so why aren't you?

a) you aren't our bitch after all.

b) you are stupid.

c) both.

I've little time to express my free will! And for why I'm not grabbing Fraga and escaping...

  • put hat on necromancer!!
124

Shabin:

...is because the grass is not looking much greener over there.

"Where is Chee?"

  • that is the bold necromancer we were talking about. he was in here for a while and he hasn't killed anyone. would rather take chances with him. grab fragga and run towards the kobold mancer!
  • So it was using her power...?
    This may be a bad idea, but we might have to bluff it (hopefully it never heard Chee's voice if it doesn't know what she looks like!). We should ask it if it did anything to the girl that was brought in a bit ago -- she was our friend.
  • "Falling apart, but you'd know that better than anybody, wouldn't you?"
    We REALLY don't want to alter your personality, but we don't have any control over it. We didn't even know we were doing it until you said we were, and we have no idea how to stop it!
  • Maybe you can appeal to their sense of curiosity. You know a few things about Chee that you could bargain away until you get a chance to escape and live.
  • Well, they seem pretty convinced that you're Chee... what the hell, they might be on to something. You've got the hat, the voices, and a lot more substance than the real Chee right now. And apparently you've got at least a little magical power, so try healing one of these guys to death. If it works it'll be a perfect bluff.
  • i am telling you, the bold necro is good. he ran into chee before and didn't do anything other then point.
  • Shabin has shown almost no magical understanding and even the necro-monster said she had very little power. I highly doubt she'd do very much.
  • Kick him in the head.At the very least, the bold necromancer is less bad.
  • It probably wouldn't, although that was before the hat adopted her. But it's still better than cowering helplessly.
  • Flee to the 'bold necromancer. When in doubt, stick with your own kind.
    He may be able to help Chee.
  • Look at it the other way. We know for a fact that the 'bold ISN'T the successor to the necromancer Chee killed.
  • Actually, what we killed was the necromancer's creation. For all we know, that's him right over there...
  • Well atleast it's less yellow. Get over there and see if that leads to less horrible death.
  • Yell to the Necrobold you'll take him to see Chee if he stops this damned creature and saves Fraga
    I like Necrobold. We could be distrusting and everything about him but I think taking this chance is worth it. we'll deal with him appropriately if he IS evil but not every Necromancer has to be evil. Dark aura's do not mean evil, just dark.
  • We don't shout that we are not Chee, that breaks our cover and tells necromonster where Chee is.
  • Something to note: This kobold necromancer has been living amongst you somehow without being noticed, and nobody's gone mysteriously missing or found zombies shambling in the halls. He's been peaceful. Or he's a spy, I guess.
    I am going to assume that normally people can't TELL he looks like that. I think something is letting you see his true form. Either the hat or us.
    Tell the 'bold to get rid of the bird-skeleton necromancer first.

  • Beard of False Life?
  • Chee: save day
  • I'm wondering if perhaps what the necromancers look like, what some people have referred to as bird-like, is actually the SKULL of a kobold...
  • You probably have no other hope besides relying on the other kobold being friendly, so sucker punch the closer necromancer with all of your mining muscle and bolt towards the unknown party.
  • Holy.... what the fuck is going on?!
  • Point at the necromancer that thinks you're Chee and say, "Before I answer your question, could you take care of this little problem for me?"
125

Shabin:

that is the bold necromancer we were talking about. he was in here for a while and he hasn't killed anyone. would rather take chances with him. grab fragga and run towards the kobold mancer!

Erf! He's heavier than he looks! He looks really messed up, but he's breathing.

I'm wondering if perhaps what the necromancers look like, what some people have referred to as bird-like, is actually the SKULL of a kobold...

That's not a skull of any kobold I'd want to meet!

"Kobold necromancer! I'll take you to Chee if you stop this thing!!"

What are you saying, Chee. Where are you going? Come to us. We will kill all in the way.

"Fool, Chee belongs to us, and she is not here!"

  • what the fuck IS chee
  • Keep going until you reach the necrobold. He just let it slip that you're not Chee, and that may bode ill.
  • but shabin said that she would take the bold necro to chee but the bird necro STILL called her chee. it CAN'T just be it has sucky eyesight. something about the hat IS special.
  • throw hat!
126

Shabin:

Keep going until you reach the necrobold. He just let it slip that you're not Chee, and that may bode ill.

I'm trying, oh god, I'm tr- "AHHGH!"

"Stop running, Chee, please. You are making this more difficult than it has to be."

"Stop, damned being! Your master's frugality on your kind's intellect nearly killed Chee!"

"I admit this. We are lucky that my predecessor was weak and ignorant of its souls whereabouts. However."

127

Shabin:

"Our scrying device is working, and confirming the dust storms of soul fragments that make up its guiding force. You mean to tell me Chee has lost BOTH of these items? I think not. Scared, clueless, yet all secrets on and in its. This being must be Chee."

  • put hat on it's head!
    [switch to necromancer!!]
  • WE'RE Chee's soul!?
  • Either throw the hat away or, if you are so inclined, shove in the necromancers face/on top of it's skull!
  • i somehow think that would be an incredibly, incredibly, incredibly bad idea
  • but it's the only idea we got!
  • You know, for an undead abomination, it's being surprisingly polite (sans the whole "stabbing you in the leg" thing.)
    Hear what it has to say. Ask it why it wants you - and by you I mean Chee.
  • Hmmm so my suspicions that we were soul fragments seems to be correct. So in all likelihood this undead necromorph thing is about to be destroyed by the kobold necromancer, but the enemy of our enemy is not necessarily our friend.
  • Shabin you're chee now.
128

Shabin:

You are confusing me, Chee.

  • "Would someone mind explaining what the hell's going on!? And maybe heal my leg to stop the blood loss?"
  • Tell them you're not Chee and ask what the hell they want.
  • FFS this
  • I wonder if 'Chee' is something like a title... the one who possesses us, the voices, the fragments of the Soul of Chee. Nah that's bullshit.
  • Grab the necromancers hat.
  • grab it's head and rip it off with your miner muscles.
  • Polite yet casually brutal minions seem to be the specialty of that lich (who is apparently different from the cobold warlock).
  • Ok, we need to get out of you before it gets you killed.
    [Jump back into Chee's body]
  • Chee: your friend is in trouble, go help!
    Hear us! We're still here, trying to help you both, but we cannot do it unless you want it too.
    Remember how you struck that necromancer before? Yeah, that thing. Do that again. Hear us, and join the fray!
129

Shabin:

"Would som...e min. expl...ing w... the h.ll's go..g on!? A.d ..... h... my l.. to st.. the blo.d loss?"

What...?

Tell them you're not Chee and ask what the hell they want.

T... t..m y..... ..t ..ee a.. ..k wh.t ... h... ..e. .a...

. ....f ......s..... .... ....a........q.

I can't hear you anymore?!

"Sleep, friend of Chee."

Where are the voices?

130

Necromancer Kobold:

Ah! Chee! Chee! Where are you? You did not die, did you? I do not sense any moving kobolds in the area! Where are the voices? Where are you? Speak, necromancer! What did you do?!

Hello, voices. Do you know where Chee is at?

  • I dunno lol
  • no lol
  • Hi! Can you hear us? Cool!
    Who the fuck are you guys and what's going on?
    Chee didn't die, or at least not recently. That's info given in good faith, of course. Additional information will require information from you.
  • Depends on what you have planned for Chee.
    And/or why you're looking for Chee, and/or how much you can tell us about the current situation.
    Also, dismissing that... rude skeletal minion, and healing Chee's friend would help us like you more. If you have a way to get rid of minions that aren't yours, at least, since it obviously is not calling you "master".
  • No, we don't. That last monster put her into some sort of existential crisis, and she started smudging and blurring as if an eraser was rubbing her out of existence.
    What can you tell us about Chee? About yourself?
  • In a room? We don't really have a handle on the architecture here. Our senses are rather spotty.
  • (Can we please not give them information until we have a good reason to? Seriously some people need to learn not to spill the beans at the earliest moment possible)
  • I second this motion.
  • We don't know where Chee is currently but Shabin, Chee's friend that you just put to sleep, did. If Shabin was right about where Chee is then check down the hall.
  • Oh, he's probably somewhere outside the fortress.
  • [image missing]
    We don't want to tell him all that without getting something in exchange. :geez:
  • Fine, post deleted.
    Chee's in a nearby room. Would you mind telling us what's going on? You seem likable enough, and you haven't zombified anyone in front of us yet, so we'll be willing to fill you in on why we were in Shabin in exchange for a bit of information.
  • I think you may want to ask the construct what it's deal is with Chee, at least you may be able to keep it occupied. Maybe even come to a resolution that does not involve further killing.
131

Necromancer Kobold:

CHEE. CHEE. CHEE. CH-

I am muting the other necromancer for the time.

It is not surprising you do not know exactly, the planning for this cave... was rather spotty.

We are both subjects of two liches. And both are acting on the purpose that Chee was unwittingly given through circumstances I will not elaborate upon. I cannot tell you more. Not because I do not know, but because I believe that your loyalties lie with Chee, not with Chee's purpose.

I do not care to talk about myself.

I am afraid that healing is not a familiar subject to me. But no not worry, while their wounds will take time to heal, they are not mortally threatened. And if you had not figured, that minion's senses are... minimal. It can only sense living and conscious kobolds. Do not worry about that either, it will leave on its own accord upon not finding any kobolds unaccounted for.

A nearby room. Good. Now, I will return you to Chee, unless you have any questions that I am comfortable answering.

  • can we get rid of the hat? or is it utterly immune to destruction?
  • What is Chee's purpose, then?
    Actually, what IS Chee?
  • Oh good, so the undead necromancer thing will only slaughter every CONSCIOUS kobold it can sense. That's MUCH better. Would you please make everyone unconscious, by the way? Anyway, questions.
    What is Chee's purpose?
    Why was Chee fading?
    What would you have us do? It's possible that with more knowledge we might change our loyalties, but only accurate information would cause that change; keeping us in the dark won't get us to help you.
  • Chee must be very valuable then if you're willing to return control to a potentially hostile force rather than risk her destruction.
  • What is Chee? What is Chee's purpose? What is happening to Chee? Are we supposed to be stuck with Chee, if so why?
  • Why does the hat teleport onto Chee's head and repair any damage it's sustained whenever someone who's seen Chee with the hat before looks at her?
    What is Chee?
    Will Chee's purpose harm any of the kobolds here?
    What sorts of things can disrupt the spells keeping Chee alive?
    Why doesn't Chee have any genitals?
    Was Chee originally male or female?
132

Necromancer Kobold:

can we get rid of the hat? or is it utterly immune to destruction?

My master has found the hat to be a great thorn in our side, but has not been able to be rid of it. It is one of the most effective scrying devices we have seen yet, but it becomes most potent when it is put on by Chee willfully. Never have it do this unless you want another necromancer.

And I will not say what Chee or its purpose is. If just knowing not having a soul did this, then to know more would likely outright kill it. Knowledge is power, and power is dangerous.

Chee must be very valuable then if you're willing to return control to a potentially hostile force rather than risk her destruction.

Great resources have been put into this tiny kobold, and it is brimming with unstable magic. An occasional near collapse in inevitable, making the liches battle all the more precarious. All of you act as a stabilizer in ways, keeping magic in check where the lack of a soul would make it otherwise impossible.

I tire. All remaining questions I either cannot or will not answer. You will find all there is to know in time. My master and I simply count on you learning it too late for you to do anything about it.

133

Chee:

..."Hello?"

  • Yo, whats up.
  • Welcome back Cheelop. Everyone's been doing their best to try to get you to come back to them. But all that work required a lot of effort on their end, and you might want to get up and go heal them if you can. Also take off that hat and tie it to your loincloth or something. We're going to get you a better hat.
  • Yep, it turns out your hat is a cursed item, so you should avoid wearing it. And get another hat.
  • Make sure that you never put the hat on. If you MUST have it on your head get somebody else to do so.
  • Man.
    Chee's perants are the Necromancers.
    It was the only thing they managed to do together, trying to create something perfect, something real, something more then just dead and reanimated.
    Chee is that something. And now they both want her back, for some reason.
  • Shabin and Fraga could really use some patching up. Friends help each other, right?
    Also, find some kind of hemp string or something, fix it to your hat and wear it on your back. You'll be the most stylish little wizardpriest ever.
134

Chee:

Oh. My. Gosh.

135

Chee:

You guys are back!

136

Chee:

Ahh my hat? I'll try wearing it on my back then when I can!

And Shabin and Fraga are hurt!? Oh, I hope it's not too bad! I feel like I can heal decently now! I'm sure I can take care of scraped knees, maybe Shabin got a headache. She's always so terse. Well, at least while I'm around. I could have sworn she was talking to me not too long ago though. She was being kind of sweet! It must have been a dream.

Oh, but I should go and heal them!

137

Chee:

That's not a scraped knee. And Fraga.. I don't think headaches are supposed to be that bad.

  • I'm confus.
138

Chee:

Hello, Chee. No one is around, but I waited anyway. I am glad you came back. Are you ready to come with me?"

  • Heal Fraga! Shabin is alive, just asleep. I think.. hope.
  • Tell him you are not ready and resume healing of the hurt peoples.
  • say no, what's the worst that could possibly happen?
  • PUT THE HAT ON THE SKULL'S HEAD AND TELL IT THAT IT IS NOW CHEE AND THUS MUST GO BACK WITH ITSELF TO ITS MASTER. With any luck this will work due to the kind of thing in which paradoxes kill Artificial Intelligence, and perhaps it'll buy you time as it goes back to its master.
  • THROW HAT ON ABOMINATION MAKE LIMITED SENSE CONFLICT WITH HIS BRAIN TO CAUSE INTERNAL IMPLOSION.
    Or run. I don't really get the details of this mess anyway.
  • Turn around and say this with as much authority as you can manage:
    "Tell your master to never EVER cause harm to these kobolds. He's not to even send anything into this cave system. Otherwise I will make destroying him the purpose of my existence, and I won't stop until one of us is obliterated.
    Do you understand, abomination?"
    Then heal it into dust.
  • Turn around, latch onto the skull and unleash your healing fury!
139

Chee:

Turn around and say this with as much authority as you can manage:

"Tell your master to never EVER cause harm to these kobolds. He's not to even send anything into this cave system. Otherwise I will make destroying him the purpose of my existence, and I won't stop until one of us is obliterated.

Do you understand, abomination?"

Turn around, latch onto the skull and unleash your healing fury!

"I-I-Tell you're.. master.. if you please.. th.."

This can be the backup plan! Hat goes up!

"I-I-"

"Words are not necessary."

140

Chee:

"I am very pleased, Chee. There seems to be some disconnect between scrying device and voices, but we will sort this out. Let's be off."

  • What, no! This is wrong, god damn it, we don't want to go with this douchebag. Douchebag construct, put us down right now.
  • "Yes, go to your master and never come back."
  • Bluff as best you can. Tell him "Yes, I am at the moment riding you. Let us go back to your master." Then make sure to WAIT A WHILE before healing your friends, because the moment they look at you your hat is likely to return to your head. (also at that point STOP WEARING THE HAT, tie it to your back)
  • No, this is good, he thinks we're on him.
    "Alright, let's get going."
    Then remain silent and wait until he's far far away, out of sight even.
    THEN heal those two.
  • "Can't I help my friends first?"
  • It must think the hat is you. Do not say anything else and hopefully it will go away. Do not move until it is out of sight.
  • Tell him to fuck off, that your tired of all this destiny shit, also to comeback in a couple of days when I can tell which text belongs to who's perpective and figure out whether or not I'm a hat.
141

Chee:

He leaves. It's awhile before I move again, before I finally treat my friends and go back to our rooms.

"How do you feel, Shabin?"

"Fine."

"Um..."

142

Chee:

"Shabin, I could kind of hear it when you were talking to me... did you mean all those-"

143

Chee:

"Listen up runt, because I'm only going to say this once. Today was the worst. Not because of what I learned of you. Not because I was stabbed in the leg. And most arguably not because I said I like you. Today, I was the most pathetic thing I have ever seen in my life, something I thought I'd never see after you. I don't care if the voices had an impact, it just means I couldn't resist."

"I don't want to hear you ever bring today up again. I won't let a drop out for you even if you die, now."

"Further, I don't give half a crap about what anything related to a necromancer said about you. You're just a runt kobold I got charged with, and being nice isn't gonna change it. Let the liches deal with the most convoluted mess of magic I've ever heard of, it has nothing to do with me, and so long as you stop getting all wet eyed over not having a soul, whatever that even means, you don't have to worry about it either."

"Starting tomorrow, you are going back to the magic institute. And I will, too, endure Chop's training so I don't have to writhe around like a god damned worm under some weak-ass necrobird. So when I come back to this room, I am going to start training by punching you repeatedly in the face and you are going to train by healing yourself each time I sock you.

"You get me?"

  • Hug her and say "Thank you, Shabin."
  • Yes, do this.
  • Kiss her on the face, above the mouth.
  • Hugs!
  • Don't piss her off further by being touchy feely. Just ask if it's ok if you train any offensice magic you learn on her then, since she gets to train her offensive moves.
    Also, yay the hat came back. We can't really see well without it.
  • Ah. . .status quo.
    It's good to be back, give her a hug.
  • Hug Shabin regardless of incoming fist-in-face.
144

Chee:

Hugs!

"TH-TH-THANK YOU, Shabin!!"

"Yeah, yeah. Now get off me before I start training early."

I think things are going to be normal, again.

  • ?
  • That was not a good thing to say.
  • Solid plan.
  • it's settled then. Shabin's a genius.
    scout the camp for wounded people for you to heal. that necrobird sure thrashed around a lot.
  • this is simultaneously the sweetest and most twisted thing i've been involved with in a very long time
  • Yes! Chee's back! ... wait, I kinda liked being in Shabin's head.
    .... you guys should hug like this more often.
    And of course all the fun happens when I'm asleep xD
  • I'm so happy for your not-loss.
  • Someone remind me who the quest author is? Drawing style is annoyingly familiar, but so are they all.
  • I would also like to mentino that Chee Quest feels more like a post Call of Cthulhu scenario, wherein the investigators have already been eaten, the Old Ones roam the earth, and we are a horrible spawn attempting to survive this horrifying new world of twisted geometries and tattered souls.
  • Well, let's round up the facts;
    1) Non-humans
    2) Black and White
    3) Eldritch Abominations
    4) Main Character looks, but is not normal.
    5) Title is "[name]quest"
  • Are you kidding? It's not me, friend.
  • See Hopefully you understand now.
  • Now saving whathappenswhenyoudontgetallthedetails.jpg
    Eh, it's not like I actually pointed any fingers, just rounded up several details. -_-
145

Chee:

Ah, another day! It's weird, I was so depressed about not having a soul, I felt so... fake! But everything around me is real, and that's what matters. Shabin is already awake and gone, and I should be heading out, too.

146

Chee:

Oh, it looks like another note was left for me.

  • Oh! Good news! It turns out that we're what you're using for a soul! Some sort of soul-fragment slurry. I guess you could call it Magically Separated Souls or something.
    ... Damn, now I'm thinking of things that LOOK like strawberry icecream but are really OHGODEWW
map

Chee:

Yo, Chee. I hope you're doing well. I know you said you wanted a map, so here you go. It's real simple, and doesn't include all the bedrooms that link off all the tunnels, but it should get you by.

It would be awesome if you could stop by the alchemy place in the market area, cause I need some potions. Just say Fraga sent you, it should be cool. The order is on the back of this sheet. Don't look, this is on the downlow. Just hand it to her. Also, you should stop by the tailor, same area, get yourself somethin' better than a loincloth. When you're all done, come on by and we'll set you up with some practice.

Oh! I wonder what kind of look I should go for?

  • Looks at the back of the map.
  • You've had two run-ins with necromancers, so get something that's comfortable but not loose.
    Pants, not skirts.
    Short-sleeve shirts, not dresses.
    No capes
    DO get a loose jacket, though. They offer better arm protection than a shirt, and if it gets grabbed you can wiggle out easily if it's loose. They also provide expendable fabric in the event of an emergency, and offer pockets.
    Just never button up the front.
  • Something wizard and monkey. Like robes that don't get in the way and let you retain a full range of movement.
  • oh boy is time for dressup gaems?!
    Well the choice is obvious: Wizard Robes.
  • Wizard robes for the unisex value.
147

Chee:

Looks at the back of the map.

The back of the map is blank, I think you mean the order sheet though on the back of the note. I.. Fraga told me not to, but I'm curious, so with you that makes it 2 to 1. I'm sorry, Fraga!

Everyone else, keep idea's coming, I'll try to get something we can agree on when I make it to the market~

  • If you can get a robe that you can run in, go for that. First priority is not restricting your mobility.
    Also, don't look at the potion order. It's private!
  • Dang, too late!
  • armless wizard robes.
  • ? screw practicality, pyjamachee is the best chee
    the only issue is where the badhat would go
  • Clearly, the only choice here is Steve Shirt,
  • This looks like a shopping list for a prank.
    Perchance they are planning to remove the beard from that wizard we saw while hanging with Shabin?
  • well given it asks for a beard removal salve, and there's only one character i can think of that has a beard...
    but at the same time it's a fake beard, how come they need a salve for it? i suspect my preconception of what their shenanigans will be is not encompassing enough
  • ? We could go with this! You'll look so dashing!
  • ? Or perhaps the one on the left, since Shabin seems to think you're a girl anyway. And dorf totally isn't your style.
    I am so sorry it came to this, but I could not resist. It must be done! (impending bladetree??)
148

Chee:

I think wizard like robes is a good thing to think about, but also maneuverability! I'll ask the tailor too, but I should visit the alchemist first.

149

Chee:

...oh, my. Well, a stall full of potions isn't too hard to find!

150

Chee:

"Greetings, young kobold. Please remember, you must be over the age of two to even look at these potions."

"Ah.. I am. And Fraga sent me, anyway, here's his order!"

"...he's really gonna do that, huh. Yeah, this is a worthy cause, it's free o' charge. Tell 'em it's his funeral. Now tell me, what is it ya do around here?"

"Well, I'm a medical wizard!"

"Seriously? Well, how would you like... a special potion, free of charge?"

  • Inquire about what said free potion does. Drinking potions without knowing what they do is bad idea.
  • yes, you do.
  • Wow how nice of him! This must be his way of welcoming you to the community! Gladly accept and drink it without a second thought!
    Seriously though, accept but ask what it does
  • Free things are always nice. But make sure you know what it does first.
  • Sure!
  • That shopkeep is quite generous. Maybe an invisibility or healing potion? Ask 'Til' what she(?) has first.
  • ask what it does but accept it. even a potion of bursting into flames can be useful in the right circumstances.
  • "Special" potion? (I bet it's drugs...) Accept graciously and drin- I mean ask what it does.
  • Huh. Friend of Fraga's is a friend of ours. Why not? Might want to ask them what it does, though.
151

Cheelop:

"I'll take it, but what does it do?"

"Deary, this is a potion. It works best not to sweat the details. Just give it to someone you reeeeally like!"

152

Cheelop:

"Umm... okay."

  • Well, we reeeaaaaaally like Shabin, right? She's super nice and saved us and even gave us an awesome bed-thing!
    We should totally give it to Shabin.
  • This is definitely a love potion, makes the target fall in love with you/first person they see. I don't think you want anyone you are friends with to drink it.
  • Fraga is a pretty cool dude. We should totally give that potion to Fraga.
  • This. They're infamous for causing not just love, but blind obsession with the person. Keep it around, though... may be useful later.
  • It's either a love potion or an aphrodisiac. Either way, it would be wrong to use it on someone. Besides, you don't have any genitals, so you can't use it to get someone to have sex with you, anyway.
    I suppose we should take it anyway, though. Who knows, we might find a legitimate use for it.
  • yeah, would result in them dry-humping you for a couple hours. and then when it wears off they will be SO MAD.
  • Heheh. Wait, maybe that isn't a love potion. Just giving it to someone you like wouldn't work unless they couldn't tell what it did.
    (Wait, maybe we shouldn't let Chee realize that sex exists and they can't do it. That'd be depressing! Also we've been told that some knowledge is dangerous...)
  • what do you mean they can't do it? Chee has an anus, no?
  • ....no just no. your an ethical enough kobold to never use something like that willingly and just having that thing around is basically begging for annoying and embarrassing shenanigans.
  • Ask why and what it's supposed to do.
  • And suddenly, the head-voices began a symposium to determine the best way to trick the necromancer into becoming Chee's bitch...
153

Cheelop:

Oh, yeah! And this is what I was thinking for clothes. It includes just a little bit of everything! Maybe. Maybe that's not so good? I don't know. Let me know!

Uh.. this potion sounds dangerous. But I'll keep it around, just in case! It won't hurt as long as I never have to use it, right? This is all foreign to me, you all know a l-

154

Cheelop:

It's either a love potion or an aphrodisiac. Either way, it would be wrong to use it on someone. Besides, you don't have any genitals, so you can't use it to get someone to have sex with you, anyway.

I suppose we should take it anyway, though. Who knows, we might find a legitimate use for it.

  • Is that surprise or a suggestion for a sexual orifice?
  • Chee, do you eat? Do you poop? Or is your bottom completely smooth?
  • Jeez you guys. Chee didn't need to know about this stuff! I guess it's *possible* to get into a romantic relationship while genderless though...That looks great.
    Thank the man for the potion and get moving to the tailor.
  • sorry about them chee. just try and tune the crazy ones out.
  • read part one, yes eat, no poop.
  • Rephrase, do you HAVE to eat or is it just something you an do?
  • Guys, I think we forgot. Cutebolds don't understand intercourse... so we might have just broken Chee's brain. Again. And if anything, that potion would just lead to embarrassing mutual nose-rubbing.
  • Great, we broke Cheelop again.
  • Looks good, lets go get that as soon as you snap out of it.
155

Cheelop:

Chee, do you eat? Do you poop? Or is your bottom completely smooth?

"Ahhhhhhh!!"

156

Cheelop:

[Some time later.]

Chee, do you eat? Do you poop? Or is your bottom completely smooth?

I'm sorry, I just kind of.. well, yes. I do have to eat, but very little, and... notothesecondquestion.

"Ah, hey dude. Glad you could make it, and with the stuff. Anyway, the practice today might not be what you had in mind, but I think it's for the best. In a couple of hours, the magic committee needs to see you. Until then, we're going to test, uh.. your focus. I uh.. need you to stand guard. Just for.. an hour or so. If anyone starts coming down, you block them. Doesn't matter who. Real important skill. The test ends when the committee calls for you. I think that explains everything, got it?"

157

Cheelop:

"Um.. I think so, yeah!"

I just have to stand guard?

"What about learning magic?"

"Trust me dude, your healing is pretty awesome considering how little you've actually done it. Better fill out your skills by.. guarding. The hall. Follow me."

  • Aww yeah lookin' good Chee. He is bullshitting you though about your training thing. I don't think he expects you to really block someone so he probably just wants you out of his way so he can do his prank?
    Should Chee intervene? I dunno. Mage guy would probably appreciate it but Chee may lose a friend.
  • they are either deadly affraid of you or he will do something pretty goddam stupid like setting fire to the grand wizard's beard.
    oh that. that will do. prepare to hold back snickers.
  • Hey wait it just occurred to me that we can have swapped the beard removal potion for the love potion for hilarity. Probably too late.
  • Take this seriously. Block EVERYONE.
158

Cheelop:

Aww yeah lookin' good Chee. He is bullshitting you though about your training thing. I don't think he expects you to really block someone so he probably just wants you out of his way so he can do his prank?

Should Chee intervene? I dunno. Mage guy would probably appreciate it but Chee may lose a friend.

W-Well, if that's true, then I don't really want to get in the way anyway!

Take this seriously. Block EVERYONE.

I think I'd better do that, I don't want to cause any trouble for anyone!

... I'm pretty bored.

159

Cheelop:

..........

It's been about 20 minutes, I thi.. oh! Someone's coming.

"Uh, um.. I'm not allowed to let anyone through here."

"... this is my destination. Please stand aside."

"S-sorry. I promised."

"I am the spokesman of the chieftain, and as such am under his orders. Please stand aside."

That's not good! Fraga went down this hall, so whatever he's doing he's probably not done yet!

  • NOPE! Block him.
  • "well i'm under orders to stand guard and let no one pass. if you had written permission from the chief then that would override my orders, but you don't so i can't let you pass."
  • ? this must be part of the test. BLOCK HIM.
  • Defending a prank < not getting in trouble with authority. I doubt there is a significant consequence for either. Distract him with three questions!
  • explain that your new so you only really know your direct Superiors well enough to recognize, and a guard that always lets anyone above a certain rank past without question does nothing but ensure that infiltrators will impersonate someone above that rank.
  • Give him the potion
  • Yell down the corridor to ask Fraga if you're supposed to block representatives of the chieftain.
  • Block the shit out of that dude!
160

Cheelop:

Block the shit out of that dude!

"I-I'm sorry, I.. HEY, AM I SUPPOSED TO BLOCK REPRESENTATIVES OF THE CHIEFTAIN, FRAGA?!"

...no answer.

"Er, well, I only recognize my superiors, and it's no good if guards just let anyone who says they're above a certain rank in, right? Cause then people would just pretend?"

"This is not how I expect to be treated."

"Uh, uh.. what's your favorite color? What d-"

"Stand aside."

"I'm under orders! M-maybe if you had some kind of written thing then I would have a choice I mean that would be pretty conv-"

161

Cheelop:

The bearer of this note holds prime authority under direct order of the Chieftain.

Anyone caught intentionally hindering the bearer's progress will be eternally banished.

  • well fuck.
  • Yeah, no way you are going to risk 'eternal banishment' for Fraga. I am sure he will understand.
  • Unblock him and go tell Fraga.
  • Puppy dog eyes and then let him by. Seriously.
  • Yep better move aside.
  • ITS ALL PART OF THE TEST DONT LET HIM PASS.
  • Yeah, let him through, but go and alert a guard to follow him and make sure that in the event that he's totally lying that he stays secure.
  • let him pass, but follow him at a distance to see where he's headed
162

Cheelop:

I'm sorry, Fraga.

Yeah, let him through, but go and alert a guard to follow him and make sure that in the event that he's totally lying that he stays secure.

And I don't think I can get a guard, I've only seen guards in the market place, none here.

"That is better. But first. Who is Fraga? I was not aware anyone was to be inside at this time."

  • Order was to block everyone. Doens't matter if he's got a fancy note, you're blocking him and you're going to keep on doing it.
  • "Fraga is the voice in my head. He tells me things."
  • Fraga is Fraga! He's a mage!
  • Try pleading with him not to get Fraga in trouble. He couldn't have known he was going to arrive here. Ask if he could wait just half an hour? Nobody would get in trouble then!
  • Start telling the story of how you became a wizard.
    Every time he asks what it has to do with who Fraga is or is there a point, just say: "I am getting to that" and keep telling it.
    Also, describe everything in excruciating detail. You know, to make it longer.
  • this.
  • Answer simply to help buy Fraga time. Tell him that Fraga is your friend. That's it
  • Realise that, yet again, you are trapped in a situation someone else is going to have to bail you out of.
163

Cheelop:

Realise that, yet again, you are trapped in a situation someone else is going to have to bail you out of.

Ohhhh! I don't like that! I'm going to be useful to Fraga at least!

Start telling the story of how you became a wizard.

Every time he asks what it has to do with who Fraga is or is there a point, just say: "I am getting to that" and keep telling it.

this.

"Welllll, it all started back when I found this-"

"I just want to know who Fraga is."

"I'm getting there! I woke up, and there was some new person I never met before, but eventually..."

I go through all of it. I'm surprised, but he suddenly seems okay with waiting. It's awhile until I can't think of anything more to say, and he starts walking past.

"I see, so you are Chee. The headmaster and I intend to speak to you inside. Follow me."

164

Cheelop:

  • at least you weren't in on the plan, so they probably won't blame you too much.
  • Fraga just played you for a chump, Chee.
  • check under the table.
  • Be more nervous.
  • Chill.
  • Ask if you're in trouble.
  • Glare at Fraga. With your only ounce of malevolence.
165

Cheelop:

Fraga just played you for a chump, Chee.

I... I might have bigger problems, right now!

check under the table.

Nope, nothing under the table.

"The Headmaster has arrived. Speaker, I know why this meeting has been called, but such things have channels to go through. Even by order of the Chieftain, it is highly offensive to call a meeting immediately for a non-emergency."

166

Cheelop:

"Headmaster. You know that this IS an emergency. Chee here is under great suspect of summoning deadly necromancers. Even if it is unintentional, it is a great danger to everyone. Normally Chee would have been banished by order of the Chief. Of course, she is under your care, and must be handled through you."

".... I am afraid you are correct. Chee has displayed great skill in the face of danger. Chee, what do you say in your defense?"

"Defense?! There is no defense! The Chieftain might have granted the mages some autonomy, but what you do have will quickly be revoked if you do not comply with this! This is not just some invitation to tea, the ve-"

"Speaker. I know the consequences. Chee. Speak."

  • Tell them that they can't see you if you don't wear that hat, so as long as you don't wear it they won't come. (probably) Also, none of it is your fault, they're there through no fault of your own.
  • I would ask Chee to tell them about the hat, but the entities that created Chee, who are surely more powerful than these guys, could not destroy it. These guys could probably tell that you are bluffing though. It would be best to word things in a way that they still wouldn't mind letting you stay, but still tell the truth.
  • Shit. Uh. Well, tell them if we can figure out what you are and what the necromancers want with you, we could prevent what they're planning. Or, the mages could gain a great source of power and beat them themselves.
    Isn't that worth the risk? Besides, we know WHY the necromancers arrived, and it won't happen again.
  • Tell them that you didn't mean to attract necromancers and you really just want to help and to make sure that no other camp suffers the same fate as you last one did.
  • you won't be wearing that fucking hat ever again to hide your presence, regardless of whether you stay or go. and when the necromancers fail to scry your location, they will visit the only lead they have to you, which is this refugee camp. so I highly doubt your banishment will achieve anything in way of protecting this place.
    the only other reason to expel you would be to punish you, but you haven't done anything yourself.
    thus, there isn't really any real justification to throw you out other than "something bad happened and it has something to do with that guy! let's get rid of him and hope that did it!"
    which is a somewhat unwise way of thinking when things involve eldritch magics and the lives of fivehundredsomething kobolds.
167

Cheelop:

"I never meant to! And this hat on my back, it's apparently a scrying device when I wear it on my head. And I'll never wear it again, banished or not! And also.. they already know where I am. If I get banished, they may still come here for me. If you banish me, it'll simply be because something bad happened around me.

I really just wanted to help, and not have this camp have the same fate as my others!"

"Others?! It seems like you really are cursed! Headmaster, more than ever, you must banish him. If not, the Chief will inflict more restrictions than one kobold is worth."

"A-and, if maybe we figure out what I am and what they want with me, we can prevent it and maybe get some power somehow an-"

"Nonsense! You are rambling now. Headmaster. Banish her."

"Do not order me, Speaker. Chee. Your arguments are all valid, but my hands are tied. I will do what I can to ensure your survival to another town. It is with a heavy heart I must do this, but.... Chee."

168

Cheelop:

"YOU.

169

Cheelop:

"ARE.

  • "There were two necromancers. Only one of them has hurt anybody so far. The other said they can sense anybody wearing my hat, so I'm wearing a different hat to keep it off my head. I haven't been able to destroy it yet, though.
    I'm not gonna let them hurt people. If they show up again I'm gonna get rid of them or die trying."
170

Cheelop:

"BAAAAAAA--"

Pop

"Huh?"

  • [image missing]
    :coolface:
    PROBLEM, HEADMASTER?
  • HE'S A SHEEP
  • Yeah, so it looks like Fraga went Invisible, applied Anti-Beard Cream, and then Hauled Ass. Don't know what the anti-magic potion was for, tho
  • "ummm, are beards supposed to do that?"
  • For not being zapped (or tracked) by an angry wizard.
  • But if he used it himself, wouldn't it nullify the Invisibility and Haul[ing] Ass?
  • maybe the potion of haul ass makes you teleport.act shocked and outraged. be all "your beard is fake!? gasp!" maybe he'll be shamed out of banning you.
171

Cheelop:

"It appears a great travesty has just been committed against the mages. Excuse me!"

"Wh-what?! You can't be serious, not over a beard!"

"I am always serious."

172

Cheelop:

I... I think I owe Fraga another one...

  • stick the beard on yourself.
  • Wear the beard.
  • You're probably gonna just get banished later. We need to go talk to your friends and find some reason to get them to let you stay.
  • ...Wait, a second... Do you think either the Headmaster or Fraga had this planned from the beginning?
  • Appropriate that beard, young lady.
  • This is a stay of execution, not a pardon.
    We need to think of a way to convince them to let you stay.
    Go to the students and tell them you have a cursed hat that keeps coming back.
    Tell them you want it destroyed.
    Tell them to be creative.
    Tell them WHICH hat is cursed.
    Observe everything so it won't just reappear on your head.
173

Cheelop:

I think that's it for the day. I probably shouldn't get in the way. I hope Fraga's alright.

...Wait, a second... Do you think either the Headmaster or Fraga had this planned from the beginning?

I do wonder. I think the headmaster is a little too serious about his beard to consider this, but Fraga... perhaps, maybe, he knew this was coming.

This is a stay of execution, not a pardon.

We need to think of a way to convince them to let you stay.

Go to the students and tell them you have a cursed hat that keeps coming back.

Tell them you want it destroyed.

Tell them to be creative.

Tell them WHICH hat is cursed.

Observe everything so it won't just reappear on your head.

Yes, I think I'll do this when things cool down a little!

Walking back to my room, I have to think about what I learned. I may not have done any magic, but I believed I learned something else.

Having a beard makes you feel pretty awesome.

  • You're a wizard, Cheelop!
  • Hmm, I think maybe wearing the headmasters bear is not such a good idea.
    You know, he might not like it and considering our situation, antagonizing the guy who can and probably will banish us is not something we should do.
  • I agree
    ...Wear it as a wig instead.
  • Hasn't anyone told you two that imitation's the highest form of flattery? If the headmaster sees him with it, he'll probably assume Chee is destined for greatness like himself. Keep the beard, Cheelop.
  • Looks pretty awesome on you. Lets try some fireballs now!
  • ...so you did a little bit of shopping, stood around for 20 minutes, had a short meeting and the day is already over? either you woke up really late or days have ten hours around here.
  • He was very nearly banished. Out of sight, out of mind, right?
    But better yet: Chee, don't go back to your room. Go be unavailable for a little while. Check out Chop's Dojo! Or the Archery Range! They're pretty close to your room while still not places people would expect you to be. Plus you might be able to get in some practice healing if there are any training accidents.
  • Seconding Archery Range. Chee has some wicked aim.
  • Let's throw together a clever disguise, find Shabin and Fraga, and go on an adventure for a time until people forget about us.
  • (Gently, don't want it falling off now) Stroke your beard reflectively while you contemplate where to hang out.
    And then go to the archery range.
  • Archery range!
    Dual-class!
  • ?
  • I suggest you put the beard back where you found it, to avoid trouble with the Headmaster. Also, did you get the potions that Shabin asked for?
  • yes. he used them to pull a prank on headmaster.
    i think its time to prove your worth. you gotta study sum moar magic, and possibly think of a plan to diverge those necromancers from your location.
    how about selling;losing the hat to a unconspicious human? he would be haunted for a while then the hat would return to you. but the idea htat you are no longer here would be predominant.
  • ah i just noticed
    since you are indeed good at rock trhowing, how about knife trhowing or maybe potion/bomb trhowing?
  • OMG yes Knife throwing! That's even better.
  • Hey Cheelop, you're probably gonna get evicted. Doesn't really seem to be a solid way of getting around that, what with those soul rendering necromancers appearing so often. So you probably want to have some preparations made whenever the can comes. Have some supplies ready, but more importantly go collect information about the world outside. Hit up Shabin, Fraga. and the others. Especially Fraga, who's probably the only one who might have a way of securing your residence.
  • Knives are impractical because when you throw them they spin, thus which part of the knife strikes the target is practically random unless accounted for. That's why the japanese invented shurikens.
  • The thing about knife throwing is that it only works on things that need internal organs. If you put a rebar sword knife in the forehead of one of these skeletal necromancers, they would probably just laugh. (Though I suppose you could go for the vertebra. I don't know what decapitation would do to a skele-necromancer.)
  • Let us not forget that Chee has a natural potency with magic. Launching a fireball or shooting lighting is probably a lot more effective than a ranged melee weapon, and may be easier for Chee to learn.
  • (Let's not forget that we might want to TONE DOWN Cheelop's ability to project/channel magic, as apparently the first necromancer was somehow able to tap into Chee's magic in order to necrotize that one Redshirt kobold. The second wasn't able to do the same to Fraga because he tried to tap into Shabin's magic, which is less. If we try to make Cheelop into some uber-mage, we might only succeed in empowering our enemies)
175

Cheelop:

...so you did a little bit of shopping, stood around for 20 minutes, had a short meeting and the day is already over? either you woke up really late or days have ten hours around here.

You're right! I may not be comfortable with being in the magic caves, but there's plenty of time left. I can't just spend it huddling in my room. I'm going to the archery range!

I agree

...Wear it as a wig instead.

There is now a beard in my hat.

"Hello. Name?"

"Um, Chee."

"Yes, you must be new here. Mage, I see. You've come to learn the fine arts of projectiles for when magic fails, yes? We offer basic training for free, before letting you have at the shooting ranges. It's simply enough so you don't shoot off your own foot, yeah?"

"So, what would you like to train? We have most weapons, though I wouldn't suggest bows. No offense. Crossbows, slings, shurikens, throwing spears and knives, you name it, we probably have it."

I'm not sure what I'm good at, but I'm more than willing to try everything. Let's have a vote!

  • Spears. Even if someone gets in close, you can still swing them around like a quarterstaff.
  • Well, if you're willing to try multiple things, then why not try for crossbows, slings, and spears?
    Crossbows seem like they wouldn't be too hard to use, slings would provide you with somewhat easily-obtained ammunition in a pinch (rocks,) and spears... well,has a good point about those.
  • Shurikens! Ninja wizards! We can get into Mordor with that! :D
    ...Or slings, since that's the closest thing to throwing rocks like you did.
  • Slings are probably best against necromancers, what with all the bone and completely useless dead flesh being used as armor for said bones.
    Also practice throwing capped potion bottles full of water. It would be lovely to hit a lich in the face with a potion of OHFUCKIMONFIRE.
  • try things you throw with your hand, like spears and knives. you seem to be pretty good at that.
  • You want a secondary weapon to your magic that you can ready quickly. A crossbow takes a very long time to ready, it could take you a minute or more before you're ready to fire. A throwing spear would take less time to ready but it would still take longer than is desirable. A throwing spear would also have the same strength issue of a bow, to get good use out of it you would need to be very strong. A sling is incredibly hard to use and isn't as fast to get ready as knives.
    With a knife you'll be ready almost instantly, you don't need a whole lot of strength to still cause significant damage, and a throwing knife is still useful for killing at short range. The downside is you're not going to get as much range out a throwing knife as you would from the other options, but I don't think this is going to crop up as a huge issue since you're not really going to be fighting in huge open areas.
  • Slings and shurikens. Not the star shurikens though, get the long straight needle like shurikens.
  • Things you can throw with your hands are best for what we've seen you do!
174

Cheelop:

"I'd like one sling, please. Maybe a dagger, too."

"Alright Chee let's see what you've got. We'll handle slings and throwing knives, but we may as well see what you're good at, so I'll throw in a few different weapons. We can take it slow. See that target way off yonder? That's your target. No pressure, this is your first time, but do try to land your bullets in the same general vicinity, yeah?"

176

Cheelop:

"I'd like one sling and maybe a few throwing knives, please."

Animated

  • Nice.
  • That was awesome!
    Now they're going to want to KEEP you and turn you into a WAR MACHINE OF DEATH.
  • Cool, lets try that with fireballs. You seem to have amazing aim so even a weak one should be dangerous in your skilled hands.
  • You seem to be fairly good at learning... well, just about anything.
    Really, I think we should consider teaching ourselves the basics of EVERYTHING, then see if we could get better at them all too.
  • Get one.
    Of everything.
  • wow.
  • ? ....Holy shit. Chee, have you ever considered taking on the position of War God?
  • ...Okay, so we're naturally gifted with magic, naturally gifted with throwing things... I have half a mind to suggest we try out some stuff at Chop's place too.
  • Chee. You are very special. Never forget that.
    I suggest loading up on throwing knives.
    Anyway how about we go to Chop's Dojo now? Let's see if you have a hidden talent for close ranged combat too.
  • Half a mind? Screw that, lets DO THIS! Get down there and learn how to fight!
    By the time they've got things worked out enough to track you down and banish you you'll be a one-kobold army that can tell them a banishment's just impolite words if they can't enforce it.
  • sweet Jegus.
    try throwing two things at once. then three. then four.
  • Hax
  • I told you Chee was gonna be good at this. Good job, Chee,
  • He can aim, he can move, he can heal
    ASSASSINO!
    We have got to get you a cloak and a robe with a pointy hood eventually. Your not just a wizard, your a pro as hell motherfucker and let's put a tiny TM next to the word motherfucker.
  • See if you can throw Pronouns and individual Neutrons, then go to the Dojo.
  • Looks good! Which one was your favorite?
  • metal gear solid: cutebold edition
    crossbow or shurikens. possibly you can use potion trhowing if you balance them. its a pity you cant silent kill with a knife yet but we will get you there
    oh how about this: can you use darts? blowdarts or not?
  • HOPY SHIT!
177

Cheelop:

Cool, lets try that with fireballs. You seem to have amazing aim so even a weak one should be dangerous in your skilled hands.

I haven't been taught to use a fireball like I was healing! But it's worth a shot, here goes.

178

Cheelop:

Oh, well. I've gotten a few throwing knives, sling bullets and of course the sling from the trainer. He seemed flabbergasted. Then again, I was surprised of my own aim! I never really practiced before. How strange. Anyways, let's go to Chop's Dojo.. I really hope he's nicer this time.

  • That guy looks hurt, you should help him.
  • If not, throw things at him.
  • Talk to the Kobold outside the dojo. If he's hurt, heal him.
  • Heal the kobold, then go inside and ask Chop if he can give you basic self defense trai-HOLY FUCKBALLS WHERE DID THE HAT GO?
  • While we're at it, may as well try throwing exceptions as well.
    ...back in seriousmode, try throwing the badhat. If you can land it on other peoples' heads that seems like a thing that would be useful.
  • oh fuck. ohfuckohfuckohfuck
  • that would be a great suggestion if not for the badhat suddenly missing D:
179

Cheelop:

You know... I'm actually pretty nervous. Maybe coming here wasn't such a good idea, I mean, Chop can be really mean and I mean I might have good aim but you only need so much strength and weapon wise I mean it-

Heal the kobold, then go inside and ask Chop if he can give you basic self defense trai-HOLY FUCKBALLS WHERE DID THE HAT GO?

Ah! Um.. um.. I must have taken it off so it wouldn't get in the way firing and throwing stuff! Um.. I wasn't really around to see all the bad stuff that happened with the hat but maybe I should go back and get...

180

Cheelop:

"The rock eater is strong, but has no skill!

181

Cheelop:

"Chee? What are you doing here. Better be to practice your healing, runt. Start on me, someone is in need of an ass kicking."

  • Put hat on back
    Heal Shabin
    Heal other Kobold if needed
    But, the most important part of that is... HAT ON BACK HAT ON BACK HAT ON BACK
    Hopefully the wizard hat saved us a lot of trouble with that.
  • First, throw heals.
    Then watch what happens.
  • heal and watch.
  • Agreed
  • hat is back. put it on back again and heal her
    then how about instead of joining the battle, just heal the bonk out of everyone?
  • Say you just wanted to check in on her training. Then toss her a heal and watch the spectacle.
  • Heal her, then watch carefully. Hopefully you can learn that really cool spell Chop showed you.
  • Heal her up and give her the potion
  • Yes, wear the hat on your back. Later, when we return, we will begin mental exercises to remember our hat always being next to our bed. That's where it goes and where it belongs.
    Now, go heal Shabin.
    And Chee, do you know how your healing works? Even if not, I think we can use a similar principle to give Shabin a "little boost". Like, make her stronger. Because watching her pummel Chop would be funny~
182

Cheelop:

Put hat on back

Heal Shabin

Heal other Kobold if needed

But, the most important part of that is... HAT ON BACK HAT ON BACK HAT ON BACK

Hopefully the wizard hat saved us a lot of trouble with that.

Okay, okay! The hat's on my back! Now, to heal what I can...

"Thanks, runt. I'm going back inside while you work your stuff."

"What? The rock eater is so dishonorable to receive healing while in the midst of combat? I will simply crush you again."

"Good gods, shut u- gah!"

183

Cheelop:

Heal her up and give her the potion

Ah- she left before I could give the potion.

Yes, wear the hat on your back. Later, when we return, we will begin mental exercises to remember our hat always being next to our bed. That's where it goes and where it belongs.

Now, go heal Shabin.

And Chee, do you know how your healing works? Even if not, I think we can use a similar principle to give Shabin a "little boost". Like, make her stronger. Because watching her pummel Chop would be funny~

I really don't, only simple heals Fraga told me! He said he could teach me fancy things later, maybe I should go do that when I can.

184

Cheelop:

"Go! Fight someone befitting of your meager skill! Oh, and what is this? The puny kobold has walked in? I presume you are here to heal those who are lacking tough flesh. I dare not think that such a... fun sized kobold has come here to learn the art of battle!"

  • Respond with a sling bullet to his nuts. It will be an epic that shall be retold for countless generations.
  • This.
  • Why would he have that sort of food on him? (derp)Fight him after healing Shabin. I would say you would lose for certain if it weren't for your awesome ranged weapon skill. Not that you should use them in this fight.
  • you can take him. just stay mobile. don't let him grab you and just make a lot of little hits.
  • don't shoot him in the dick. only assholes deliberately shoot people in the dick. are you an asshole, Chee? I hope not.
    engage him all honorably-like. maybe you'll impress him.
  • Tell him you'd like to give it a shot.
  • also yeah don't shoot him in the dick.
  • Fine, retracting that second.
  • No, no sling bullets Chee - those can be lethal.
    Maybe give a shot at whipping his ass old-style. You didn't know you'd be so good at projectiles, maybe you'll be good at that too?
  • Totally go David and Golith on him.
  • Might as well go for it. If you win, mad props. If you lose, well, it's not like he was expecting any different, so what've you got to lose?
    Oh, but patch Shabin up first.
  • Aim for the knees! That'll teach him to beat the shit outta random people!
  • Chop appears to have profoundly underestimated you. Show him the error of his ways with a good old DYNAMIC ENTRY.
  • Shabin's idea of a good time is to swing around a pick-axe. She's probably way stronger than us. If anything, Chee, you're better off getting some good practice in by healing people.
  • I'm going to be the odd one out, I guess.
    Don't fight the huge musclebold. He already beat you once. He would probably do it again.
    ...unless you think you can throw HIM.
  • I still don't think we should be giving Shabin the potion we received...
186

Cheelop:

Umm yeah, I already once kicked him down there and it didn't seem to phase him at all. So, I'm glad you all think I should fight fair! Even though it's proo... I shouldn't think about it.

"Chooop! I challenge you to a.. to a... to a duel!!

"Roaring laughter is the only response to such a claim! Let the itty bitty one show me what it can do!"

185

Cheelop:

"... the mini-kitten has surprising bravado, but it is for nothing. Chop shall grant you three pity seconds to spare yourself and get off, or else Chop shall instead give you three pain seconds.

  • kick him behind the knee, hard.
  • ...sigh. Yeah, your physical strength isn't remarkable at all. We do know you're fast, though. Tell him forget about the duel, you can't beat him. Instead, tell him you want to practice dodging.
    Or, ask if you can use weapons, since you can heal him afterwards. Then... well, use your ranged skill while demonstrating your agility.
  • Do kung fu to him.
  • you aren't trying hard enough! you are holding back for fear of actually hurting him. let loose and fight, he can take it.
  • Who said fight fair? That's ridiculous. You can bet that Chop would fight using his talents; why shouldn't you fight using yours?
  • Chee's strengths:
    Magic healing
    Impressive aim
    Yeah so unless you find a way to use the fine motor skills involved in your aiming talent, perhaps to attack his pressure points or something, your majorly screwed.
  • Shabin intends to punch you in the face to train your healing, but Chop probably intends to punch you in places that are somewhat less painful.
    If you DO turn out to be good at fighting then land a good hit or two on him followed by letting him smack you into a wall.
    Shabin has her pride, and if you show her up it'll hurt her. She doesn't have skill because she relies on strength, and we can help her by showing how important skill is.
    If you put up an ok showing before throwing the fight then you can tell her you got a lot of practice in not getting hit because you are so small and weak.
    Then you can offer to teach her what you know about not getting hit without hurting her pride!
  • Chee, to win a duel with an opponent of this size and strength over yours that isn't undead, you have to tire him out. Then look for weakspots. His crotch obviously isn't a weak spot so what you do is find a way to make him fall and poke him in the eye, then tickle his feet, stomach and/or armpits until he passes out from laughter, then poke him in the eye again, maybe give him a wet willy. His defense is too great for regular offense.
    If you manage to get him to hit a wall and rocks chip off, throw 'em and his head for possibly real damage.
  • ...by the way, do kobolds have nails? because you can make use of those if you do.
  • Sling bullet to the balls. You can heal him afterwards and it's unlikely to be fatal.
  • If we're using the sling, try a location not likely to be lethal first. Just to estimate how much damage you'll be doing.
188

Cheelop:

kick in the back of the knees

Alright, that's a lot of advice, thank you! I'll start with trying to knock him down so I can hit vulnerable spots!

187

Cheelop:

Um... he didn't even budge.

189

Cheelop:

OW

190

Cheelop:

I-I'm not done yet, I'll try the sling!

191

Cheelop:

"The small one's aim is exceptional, but the strength has no effect. The rock eater must be rubbing off on this tiny kobold, as it does not seem like the it knows when to quit! I suggest it learns."

  • god damn, okay yeah he is tough shit. grab the wizard hat and make sure the other one isn't on year head then help shabin up.
  • Sling shot to the balls!
  • Boy, when I said tire him out I meant by making him throw punches and dodging them. Use the flow of battle, leave an opening (as in your face while standing completely still) then dodge at the last second while looking at what joints move such and heels, toes, and arms then attack there with the only thing that seems to be working, your sling. But then again, fuck offense, let him throwing his weight around be his own undoing. Your expending too much energy, make HIM expend the energy.
    In fact, yeah just let him do all the attacking and you do all the dodging. No more offense for you. Lead his punches into walls, lure him by taunting the motherfucker, do not try to hit him at all. Try "The bigger the are, the harder they fall." Or "Ha, are you not up to chop to take me down without surrender?" or "Of course a chump like you would find surrender an option!" We'll apologize for these insults after battle, excusing ourselves by saying it was an attempt to get in his big head, which wouldn't be hard at all!
  • "it"? how rude. he doesn't even consider you a person! that's it, this one MUST be taught a lesson, one way or another. and you'll be the one to do it, Chee.
  • set fire to his shiny head
  • Keep hitting the same spot.
  • trying to beat up chop is a poor choice. it's kind of like trying to free run before you can walk. i suggest leaving while you're still able to without assistance, especially given all he had to do to put your lights out last time.
    that said, give shabin a hand.
  • Ugh. I think we should stop fighting. I think he's immune to pain, since well... you kinda knocked off some skin and made him start bleeding. Tell him you give up, obviously you can't beat him, then heal up everyone (including him).
    Ask why Shabin was fighting him in the first place.
  • Any more sling stones? Try the back of his knee again. Or his tailbone (just above his butt-crack, dead center.)
  • ? Tell him the only reason he's so strong? Is because one of his parents fucked a human. Then him in the Funnybone.
  • Just help out Shabin, get your wizard hat back, and don't bother fighting Chop anymore.
  • I just would like to say that I'm downvoting giving up with all my might, because the road of giving up is not one anyone should want to take, ever.
    row, row, fight the power.
  • ...Yeah this is why I had second thoughts when I was typing out "Holy crap, you're probably good at everything! Dojo time!"
    Oh well, we COULD set him on fire but then that would be cheating.
  • Throw a rock at his throat. If he actually can deflect things off of his throat muscle then holyshit surrender.
192

Cheelop:

"Nice show, runt."

"I'm not done yet!"

"Yeah, you are. That's a monster you're going up against. He took on a dozen others before I went to fight him. No way to tire him, and as you can see, he's faster than he looks. He's harder to dodge than lobbed fireballs from a hundred meters away."

"The rock eater is correct! You have shown your mettle, and are welcome to practice here. There is much for to learn in melee combat, and it will not be nearly so easy as this magic you perform! But endure the dojo regularly, and we will make a pint sized war machine out of the kitten yet."

...

193

Cheelop:

I have to try, despite being so outmatched!

I don't really have many clear shots to the spots everyone specified, the clearest one is to the same exact spot!

194

Cheelop:

195

Cheelop:

And that's the last thing I remember seeing, on my first visit to the dojo.

  • ...You've really got to learn sportsmanship, Chee. Oh well. At least you're... PROBABLY unkillable.
  • Hopefully he passed out on you.
  • Hopefully he passed out and isn't dead.
    If you weren't about to be banished before, you would be then, having killed off the strongest fighter they've got.
  • Oh god we killed Chee.
  • Dude you should have given up when he said you'd shown your mettle.
  • aww, where'd your agility go?
  • regular practice chee. regular practice from now on. learn from chop AND more magic.and you will be awesome.
  • A perfect end to a perfect day~
  • Chop must have cast Sleep again! Truly a mighty Muscle Wizard.
  • At least Chee got some more practice healing. Not that it matters, since it's so... talented at skill checks.
196

Cheelop:

Animated Hopefully he passed out and isn't dead.

If you weren't about to be banished before, you would be then, having killed off the strongest fighter they've got.

Oh, no, he's perfectly fine.

Dude you should have given up when he said you'd shown your mettle.

I guess as the saying goes, hindsight is truesight~

aww, where'd your agility go?

I was scared and chop was really really fast.

But the day isn't entirely over yet!

People are pushing me to become so strong! Even though we're both tired, Shabin and I help each other train. Today was very productive. And because of all the help I'm getting from all my friends here, it hardly feels like I'm on the edge of getting banished. Or maybe that's because I'm getting punched very hard right now.

If I do get banished, then I hope that I'll have become strong enough to survive on my own. And maybe, just maybe, with everyone's help, that might just be possible.