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1013

Muschio:

The world could die in pain and I wouldn't feel ashamed.
And I would blow the stars from the sky and send them crashing upon this world full of hate.

...but for the people I have met that dwell upon it.

[use left-right cursor keys to turn pages, or click on the arrows at the top and bottom of each page]

1014

Muschio:

Only a short time ago I would have happily wished the destruction of this entire continent, and now I have met friends and allies worth preserving its existence for.

Today, I am due at Sir Ridder's estate.
He was my best and perhaps only true friend since childhood, a noble and genuine fellow.

And yet, despite that and because of my own unseemly callings, I have some reservations about this trip.

  • Do tell.

  • Did Ona fix Tislomer? Is she gonna stick around?

  • Why's that?

  • Yes, what is the status of the witch doctor...ess and Tislomer?

  • Dammit, why do we always disappear for the good stuff.

1015

Muschio:

Come now, what do you expect my reservations are? My old friend is all but a paragon of morality and here I am dwelling in a dungeon with a kidnapped princess.
I can't imagine how he'd react if he learned we had abducted the King's daughter. But any inkling of my recent discretions in the presence of one so glowingly resolute towards justice... it does not bode well.
I do love my old friend but I am worried we have taken different roads, he and I. He has taken the road of the righteous and myself... I have taken the only road that I knew to.

  • That doesn't mean you have to stick to it.

    There's still room for change.

  • Maybe I missed this part, but what bit you with the evildoer bug anyway? Like okay you got kicked out of your kingdom by a revolution, that sucks, but so'd Ridder. He seems to be taking it pretty well, considering.

  • Perhaps he will believe it is not too late for you to turn away from evil. You're kindof doing that a bit already.

  • So long as you aren't raping or torturing her, I don't think he'd see it as too bad. Her family did kick yours off the throne, and this is just politics. Or something.

    Who am I kidding he'd probably hate it.

  • I guess in a way, politics are a NECESSARY evil...

    Still. What's the 411 on Tislomer? Any progress?

  • At the very least you need to go meet with him. See how things have changed, see if you still wish to go with the path you are on.

    You still have time to change, even if it's a slow one.

    But, aside from obvious moral conundrums, how is Tislomer doing?

  • Not being the specific target of the revolution probably helped to some extent.

    It would be strange if there was no hatred or bitterness toward the world after having your family murdered and being turned from your home.

    I suppose having gained friends the anger has taken a more tempered form, and isn't directed quite so broadly anymore.

1016

Muschio:

Yes, I have been making an effort to turn over a new leaf, thanks to your guidance. I just... think my past transgressions may put me in an awkward position with someone of Ridder's flawless record.

Miss Openda -- Ona -- is still assessing the situation with Tislomer, before she begins treatment. I was not considering having her stay afterward, though if you believe it might be worth looking into I see no reason not to offer someone of her abilities employment here, at least if those abilities prove themselves useful.

She's recovered from her -- um -- her injury, but she still seems rather uneasy for some reason. I tried introducing her around, but that only made things worse.

"And this is our resident doorman and head guard, Dompag."

"It's a pleasure to meet you, miss."

"Oh my god."

"...is something wrong?"

"I knew it."

  • Well, if he ends up visiting then you'll need a story. You could tell him that she's psychotic and deranged, that you've been trying to cure her, and that she needs to be kept in their for her own well-being and that of your followers.

    But then again, he'd without a doubt recognize her... is Tislomer capable of making a shapeshifting potion?

  • If he inquires, just tell him the truth. Tell it like it is.

    Also, be sure to subtly inform Ona of her showing underboob.

  • Well, provided her services prove effective, it seems to me that having someone capable of restoring a half-melted face would be a rather handy backup member to have on hand.

    Plus she'd probably get along well with Tislomer, being into potions and all that.

  • I don't know, Ridder's a knight, a soldier. Last i checked kidnapping nobles is standard procedure in those things, so as long as you treat her right (which seems to be the case) he might not be too pissed about it.

    Not that you should bring it up if you don't have to...

    The worst thing you could be connected to is the burned town, and that was more ridiculous circumstances than your design. If that came up, explaining you went into that shop and the nasty shopkeep pissed you off, and in your anger you knocked some perfume and a lamp (or candle, or whatever it was) and it set it on fire, which somehow stuck on the cats that were following you because somebody decided to shower you in milk, and then those cats proceeded to run around setting fire to everything. So it was totally an accident. Regardless of how you felt afterward.

  • Idon't think a lie of that scale could be maintained for long.

    While much that we've done isn't, uh, saintly, the only thing that seems completely unforgivable seems to have been the burning of a town. And frankly that was in large part down to the actions of some stray cats.

    Still. Probably should avoid discussing that particular event for a while, even if the massive property damage and loss of life isn't STRICTLY our fault.

  • Don't we have some potions we got from that one Zal dude?

  • Maybe we should deal with the Princess before inviting our dearest friend over for a visit.

1017

Muschio:

Yes, I'd rather avoid both the subject of Iniziare Citta and the topic of my new captive if at all possible.

Case in point: Rather unfortunately, Miss Openda happened to find out about our prisoner, and though she didn't recognize her as the princess, she certainly did not react favorably.

"OH MY GOD. I KNEW IT. I KNEW IT."

  • How'd you keep her from bolting?

  • Dammit, IT'S NOT A RAPE CAVE.

    EXTENUATING CIRCUMSTANCES.

  • Aiya. Please tell me you told her that if it WAS a rape dungeon, then we would have done bad things to her already, now that she's inside.

  • But I take it she hasn't fled in terror just yet?

  • THERE IS NO RAPE GOING ON IN THIS PLACE.

    Except in your pants.

  • Oh bugger I just remembered what we said to Sticks in Iniziare.
    Although I suppose she won't take too much exception to it, she DID get caught trying to pick our pockets when we said that stuff.

    Still, it should make for some entertaining conversations at dinner this evening, or possibly her trying very hard not to maintain eye contact.

  • I do have to agree that nobility capturing may not be the most.. "honorable" thing one can engage in, but it certainly isn't out of line in the world of noble politics as long as you don't brutalize or mistreat the poor girl.

    Also... despite that bit of Schadenfreude involving the burning of certain cities, the only crimes actually committed there was some disorderly conduct, the attempted murder of a city guard (in self defense to be fair) as well as attempted petty theft and vandalism. You never actually intended to burn down the city... it just kinda happened (you enjoyed it to be sure.. which I disprove of, but still not your actual intent.)

    As for Miss Openda, simply inform her that this lady is what we in the business call a 'political prisoner" and that no this is not "on of those rape things."

  • You need like a sign at the door that reads "NOT A RAPE CAVE"

  • I hope you assured her that it's a cruel bloodline vengeance thing and not a rape thing.

  • Notice how she keeps yelling "I knew it" but never tries to run away.

  • Not even really cruel so far. I understand Dompag has been taking tea with her.

1018

Muschio:

No, Miss Openda calmed down a bit on meeting Finesse and Tislomer, perhaps worried about the gender discrepancies in this place. In either case she's having a look at Tislomer now.
I just need to make some plans for my trip to Sir Ridder's estate in a short while. The map he gave me at the springs sugges-

"Hey! Uh, oh. I mean, excuse me, Mister Muschio. If it's all right with you I wanna take a look at the potions you brought back, see if there's anything that might help my treatment."

  • Have someone watch her while she looks through them, make sure she doesn't pocket a few and run off to sell them to the next band of suckers like those whom you saved her from.

  • Tell her to be careful and some of them might turn you into a cat.

  • Sure, but note that they're probably all various forms of transformation potion.

  • Try not to rape her. I know this might be hard for you what with your throbbing erection and complete disregard for morals but don't rip off her flimsy clothing and ravish her against her will, spilling your manbutter all over her pancakes.

  • "Sure... just be careful... I would hazard the guess that they are primarily transformative in nature."

  • Probably should advise caution with them. Might be unlabelled or even deliberately mislabelled.

  • Sounds good. Show her the potions, there might be something useful for you to use on the trip. Just in case, you know.

  • You lost me.

  • Tell her to tell you if she finds a potion that increases dick size.

  • Guuuuuys, we're supposed to be doing Finesse remember?

  • If they were labelled to begin with I doubt we'd need to enlist her help in identifying them.

    But sure, no reason to refuse her. We've got a trip to prepare for right now anyway.

    And what the hell is it with you and butter?

  • [/jokes]

1019

Muschio:

"Yes, that's fine. Just be extra careful. They might not be properly labeled and I don't want anything to happen, so just check everything. Tislomer should be able to help identify them. Butter safe than sorry."

"Uh... right. Sure, will do."

...damn it.

ANYWAY.
I need to get back to preparing for my trip. What I should take, who I should bring. That sort of thing.

  • Take Dompag, he seems like he'd hit it off with Ridder. Bring the charm for sure, see if Ridder or any of his crew can identify it. You should probably bring a bottle of fine wine, too.

  • Whoever you do bring, DON'T bring Dompag.

    Just trust us on this one.

  • Take Finesse. She'd like the trip. Take Babrakus, just in case you need to be protected along the way. Take the necklace that was almost stolen. Ridder might know what it is. Have the Denlings scout the area outside the base. Have Dompag and Ashadel guard the entryway. Have Tislomer guard Ona.

    I can't think of anything else, so if you want to change/add onto this plan, go ahead.

  • Bring Dompag and ash.

  • Don't Bring Dompag.. he needs to guard the base... take one of these: Ashadel, Babrakus, or Finesse.

  • Bring some of that poison you sent to your enemy. Ridder will love it.

  • I agree with this one; I recommend Finesse out of the three.

  • Wine is always a considerate gift. One that isn't drugged though.

    We want either Ash or Finnie to stay behind to oversee things, I imagine. Dompag may be a little... yeah, not Dompag. Tislomer is getting looked at by Miss Repressed Rape Fetishist.
    Thoughts on bringing Babrakus for the ride? Um.

  • Take Finnie and Babs. They haven't gotten out of the base very much. They could use the change of scenery.

1020

Muschio:

Very well, I'll bring the amulet in case Ridder knows anything about it. I believe I'll bring Finesse -- she's my second in command, after all, so she should meet our new ally.
As for Dompag, I can't decide whether I should bring him along or leave him here.

But I suppose now that I have time to think I just need to weight the pros and--

"BOSS! BOSS! Important news, boss!"

  • bring Finesse and Babrakus.

  • Pick him up so he can talk to you face to face. Bring him uncomfortably close to your face, you touching his cheek close.

  • Ask him what it is.

  • The roads are dangerous, you should bring your sword (of course) and your crossbow.

  • Dompag is your guard. He has to stay to make sure the Princess isn't rescued. He also has to stay to shoo away gypsy salesdogs.

    Ask him what the news is.

  • One thing you should bring is one of your invisible spies.
    The kobalds are more home-base than scouting.. especially with one injured and the other.. a little unfriendly.
    Dompag is 100% doorman, so he shouldn't go..
    Ona hasn't completely formed a bond of comradarie yet, and is needed to help Tilsomer..
    In this situation, I think you need to bring birdy-girl again. She's socially adept, and not as much of a 'monster' race as the others.. though Finesse might make for an interesting companion on the trip.

1021

Muschio:

"Yes Ethos, what is it?"

"Boss! My scouting in the East has yielded great returns. I've managed to locate the headquarters of our enemy, the same one who sent the spy Pathos located earlier. I've drawn up this map to his base!"

  • take at least one spy-ghost with you. maybe this one.

  • And...?

  • Look at the map.

  • This is important. You should look over the discovery immediately.

  • Looks like...to the northwest near the forest? Hey wait, isn't that where Ridder's base is?

  • Come to think of it, leaving Ashedel behind as backup might not be a bad idea. In case our mysterious looter makes a return, which he's pretty well bound to eventually, we may want our primary security measure to be someone a bit more agile than Dompag. This guy's proven to be a slippery one.

  • Examine this location in detail. Consult map to determine what is nearby. (Possibly extremely, extremely nearby)

  • ...Oh. Oh dear.

  • WHUH-OHHHHHH

    Is that what I think it is?

  • READ THE NOTE

  • This will not end well.

    DO NOT TAKE FINNIE

    It will only end in tears and badness

  • Go solo and take a shadow with you.

  • Read note. Hug Denling.

  • This.

  • Boss... if Ridder wants to eliminate the evil in this cave... but doesn't know it's you...

    We have a bit of an advantage here. Perhaps you can claim to have taken over the cave?

1022

Muschio:

Hm. Let's see, then. Where does my aggressor lie?

It would appear the green circle indicates our current location in the Vault, while the red circle is my dogged foe, who has some manner of fortress out in the elven forests.

Devious.

  • So where's that map Ridder gave you at the springs, again?

  • Hm. Neat.

    Ooh hey. Remember that map Ridder gave you? We should check it, see how close his base of operations is. Maybe we could set up a two-pronged attack then!

  • Interesting.
    ...Where did Ridder say he was located?

  • Have you looked at Ridder's map yet?

1023

Muschio:

Now I know where this blackguard dwells.
It is only a matter of time until his head is resting on a pike outside my halls.

1024

Muschio:

1025

Muschio:

  • BRACE FOR IMPACT

  • Have Ethos describe the forces present at the enemy base.

  • wait for it...

  • I think we're about to get another Reactionface.

  • oh god the suspense

  • Something wrong?

  • Or no reaction at all, as he sits there for a couple minutes, dumbstruck. THEN reaction.

  • This is the point where you remember that Ridder mentioned an evil he had heard rumour of. That he was planning on seeing if he could do anything about.

  • So...

1026

Muschio:

[Animated]

  • STILL BRACING

  • DUN DUN DUN~

1027

Muschio:

  • So. Muschie. This just got complicated.

  • Steady on man

    steady

  • ...You okay?

  • Let's not do anything stupid...

  • You seem a little dumbfounded.

  • Hey, maybe the denling's information was bad. Or it could just be coincidence. Or perhaps Ridder ran the old boss out, just as you did. Let's not panic, mmkay?

  • Are you a Bad Enough Dude to tell him Everything?

    He thinks you're his enemy, and may not even realize it's you.

  • Keep it together, Muschie. Apply rational thinking to the situation.

  • So... lets just say that being idealistic as he is... he probably doesn't even suspect.

  • You know, more than one person can live in a forest.

1028

Muschio:

  • You... don't really have any idea what you're going to do now, do you.

  • Obviously we have to kill him.

  • Slowly now. Set the wheels in motion like a delicate mechanism.

  • Ask the denling if the map is accurate.

1029

Muschio:

  • Nah, it's probably just coincidence.

  • Now boss, I know what you might be thinking, but let's just stop right around suspicious, before we get to outright plotting.
    Let's at least confirm what's going on for ourselves.

  • Ask the denling if he's absolutely sure that his map is correct.

  • It's... Ridder?

    Hmm.

    Do you see what I see? He doesn't even know it's you he's been fighting. Play your cards right, appeal to your old friend. Your troops haven't even met each other yet. With the right strategy, you can combine your forces and speed your return to the throne.

    Appeal to his sense of duty towards you as the Prince and as a friend. Appeal to his duty towards the Malto family. You can get him to join you as your friend again, if you do this right.

  • YES OKAY IT WAS RIDDER ALRIGHT

    He doesn't know it's you, obviously.

  • Don't jump to any conclusions now.

1030

Muschio:

  • Presumably he still thinks this is some standard dungeon, much as it was under Red Fang? Have we even interacted with the rest of the area enough to form a new impression? Only thing I can think of is Iniziare Citta, and that was sort of not deliberate...

    Ah...
    Make sure to bring enough wine that you can both see the funny side of things.

  • He never was much one for the subtleties of politics was he? This is going to be... complected.

  • Finally sinking in, is it?

  • or he does know it's you, and is planning to Assassinate you tonight.

    He knows what you've done, and his moral code requires him to end you.

  • OH YES WE FORGOT TO TELL WE ARE WORKING FOR RIDDER

    Just a joke, boss. Relax. Use that devious mind of yours and regain control of the situation.

  • Doesn't really seem his style.

  • Muschio.

    You have your jacket on backwards.

  • you do realize he tries to fight evil for goodness... right?
    He obviously didn't recognize the evil was you (think about it... he'd have taken the chance back at the spring. HE HAD BACKUP)

    So leave the planning for AFTER you see the layout of his base...

1031

Muschio:

  • Flip the table, shout "FUCK THIS SHIT!"

  • Come on... say something!

  • He has not betrayed you Muschio. In your entire life, the entire time you knew him, had he ever done anything less than be a friend and a knight to you and your family? This is a misunderstanding. It has to be.

  • Let's wait for the cutscene-type thing to end, I expect. Muschio is obviously in total shock. This is the best time for us to throw in subliminal messages.

    BACON!

  • Go get some butter.

    You deserve it.

  • Call for Finesse. It's time for emotional hugging and making out. To ease the mind, you know.

  • Take an hour or two to consider how real shit just got.

  • Realise that this means you tried to poison Ridder a short while ago.

    Then, realise that he got wine laced with Finesse's aphrodesiacs instead. Allow mind to wander.

  • Dont let ANYONE else see those maps, by the way. Destroy them, even. Your allies may try to pre-emptively please you if they think this is your greatest foe's lair. In fact.. you should get Ethos back in here and swear him to silence on anything he found while scouting.

    No one must know until it is resolved.

  • Huge bacon fried in butter. The three newest tg memes combined. It cannot go wrong.

  • This is sound wisdom!

  • You'd better check the map, boss. It could be important.

1032

Muschio:

  • SAY SOMETHING

  • Uh... boss?

  • Aww hell, nothing is gonna change if I said something. ==>

  • Muschio? You okay?

    Chill out. You don't want to do anything you'll regret later...

  • There is little time. Quickly, it is time to ready...

    THE BUTTER

  • 1. Wake up
    2. Acquire FIT OF RAVING MADNESS
    3. ???
    4 PROFIT! Or meet Ridder.

  • Maybe he heard someone around here was trying to become the devil. That sounds like the sort of thing Ridder would want to put a stop to.

    Or maybe he heard that someone from here set a town on fire. That sounds like something he'd want to get to the bottom of.

  • Try to remember, exactly, what he said earlier. Maybe he doesn't know it was you you are fighting? He seems... incredibly noble. Maybe he decided to investigate whoever, you know, ACCIDENTALLY BURNED DOWN THE NEARBY TOWN.

    ...and maybe he's fighting whoever snuck into your base for the necklace, and that is who he is tracking.

    Always look on the bright side of life. :D

1033

Muschio:

  • Kill yourself.

  • Take a day off to think about this. Find somewhere quiet to sit down or go to sleep.

  • Hey, Muschi.

    Say something. It might make you feel a little better. (Especially if it's unintelligible and/or forceful.)

  • Boss? Where are we going?

  • [video]

  • So. Finnie and Babs?

  • Cut your hair.

  • Set your "friend" up for an ambush.

  • ...Mushy? Boss? Hey. Cmon.
    SAY SOMETHING.
    You're weirding me out, man.

  • Maybe the Denlings have things wrong! Maybe they only BELIEVE that they are against you, but it's not Ridder at all!

    Wake up boss!

  • We are going to need think about this.. aren't we?

  • Cover the maps in butter and eat them.

  • Edge of my seat.

    I love being here.

  • FFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFF.

    WHAT DO YOU WANT TO DO, MUSCHIO!?

  • I know this must be shocking to you and everything but you need to stay calm and at least say something! Please! We need to investigate this, did Ethos see anybody there? What did they look like? What does the structure looks like? Does he have any proof or a logical explanation? And with that information, when you meet Ridder, try to match up Ethos' intel with the surroundings and persons. DON'T JUMP TO CONCLUSIONS TO QUICKLY! For all we know, there is a third party that is nearby, or even mistaken identity.

  • If it is true, we have a chance to plan a surprise attack; it may not be, however. If it isn't, you can ask Ridder to help you search for your enemy.

  • Alternately he may be just as much in the dark regarding you and your plans as you clearly were with respect to the identity of him. In fact, the nature of your meeting at the springs supports this.

1034

Muschio:

[Animated]

  • Holy shit he went Super Saiyan.

  • DAAAYUM

  • ?
  • Ok.... it's not all bad.... Sure your Childhood friend is a back stabbing bastard... But hey, skylight :3

  • SHiiiieeeet

  • This... was sort of inevitable, you have to admit.

  • ...We should probably have Babrakus fix that.

  • Man, it sucks how your spies can't bring back reliable info, doesn't it?

  • Did you just blow up the base?

    Gonna need a new base! You know, if you pack everything up and relocate then Ridder won't ever know it's you.

  • JESUS CHRIST MUSCHIO, WHAT THE FUCK WAS THAT EXPLOSION.

  • HOLY SHI-

  • ?
1035

Muschio:

  • Put out dem fires.

1036

Muschio:

This is going to be a very interesting visit.

  • Yes it will.

  • Agreed.

    ...Now put out the fires before they destroy anything important and tell us what the damage you've just caused is.

  • So. Do you think Ridder knows about this, or do you think it was a job taking place within his own walls? Oh and on note do you think we should bring our little spy with us to snoop around while we're there, just in case?

  • ... Well.

    Ridder can be slightly dim in certain respects. Perhaps he heard of your earlier deeds and tried to thwart them without realizing who you are.

    ... In fact, I do think that's the only explanation that makes sense, considering that he was nothing but concerned for you when you met.

  • Got a.

    Uh.

    Got a problem with the ol' ceiling, there. Looks like.

    The ol' mountain.

    Got a problem with it.

    The ol' ceiling, there.

  • ?

    :3

  • Muschio, did you just achieve some massively empowered version of your basic fire spell?

    I don't mean to belittle your emotional state, but you should find out how that works some time!

    Oh, and, um. Ridder. Hmm.

    ... If you're quick, you can find another location where you can say your base is at. With the help of your laborers, you should be able to fix it up as a makeshift den before he's due to visit himself. Yes! Chin up, Muschio! With your wits and your minions' skills, you can bluff your way out of this for long enough to get things sorted right!

  • So. Now that it's come to this, are we going to attempt to stab him in the back, or ally with him?

  • c:

  • Hey, wait. Are you going to have him over there, or are you going to his place?

  • Question is: are you going to tell him at all or bluff your way out of this?

  • Don't panic. Think rationally.

    You don't have to be ashamed of what you've built. Think of what you've accomplished. You've defeated Red Fand. You've saved a tower full of women from being mind controlled by a real dick of a wizard. Sure, you were present when Iniziare Citta burnt to the ground, but it wasn't really your doing (and they god damn well deserved it).

    You're going to go. You're going to pretend nothing is wrong. Bring finesse and Babrakus with you. Do not bring Dompag or Ashdiel with you.

    I'd recommend you not let Ridder know right away. Figure out his intentions.

    Frankly Muschio, I think you are an upstanding fellow and have nothing to worry about. Your action aren't something that condemn you. I can't think of anything evil you've done that amounts to more than roughhousing and petty vandalism.

    Well, there was that lumberjack fellow, but you inadvertently gave his life new meaning.

  • Be sure to direct the odds towards the repair of your ceiling before departure, we want that fixed as soon as possible.

  • Incidentally, do be aware that your feeling of moral inferiority was entirely unfounded.

  • Hardly unfounded... we did 'intend' to do great wickedness... we just haddn't gotten to it yet. Most of our intentions were rather petty actually despite our grand delusions.

    We were full of bitterness (okay... maybe not 'were' as there is still some left) and detached arrogance (ditto.) But we are trying to do better.

    We just have to tread lightly. The past has a way of coming to bite one in the ass after all. I too suspect that Ridder is at present unaware of our true nature and history... otherwise he would have likely confronted us at the springs where we were alone and in his power.

  • Well... there's that guy he buried alive.

  • Oh, we've done things, certainly. But Ridder, he is no paragon of virtue either. He is a spy, a traitor and a thief, while we have always been forthright in our dealings. I can't even think of a time we've lied.

  • Wait.. when did we have actual crimes to append to his deeds? I mean... all we know is that he invited us to his base... and that he was the one who sent that personage to watch our entrance.

    Then we sent him an aphrodisiac laced wine and he went away, and invited us to his place for dinner (when meeting hm by chance somewhere else... hell he looked genuinely surprised to even see you.)

  • He also sent that thing to steal that necklace from us.

  • Dont forget to have your minions patch the roof up while you're away.. or perhaps give your private chamber a new fireplace/chimney?

  • Jumping to conclusions! Banzai!

  • Boss, they have spied on your operations but never seen you. Taking anyone with you could be dangerous here, but Ashedel has been out around the world alot and not in the base very often. If you take only her then they're less likely to spot the connection. And then you don't have to let this little unfortunate circumstance infect your meeting with what is basically your only friend. If you're just cautious he should never find out the truth, atleast not until he is ready for it. Just because you don't want to burn down the continent anymore doesn't mean that you can't conqour the whole thing, at the very least getting back your birthright is something you have the right to do.

  • Hahahahahah Dompag just *monocle*'d xD

  • Didn't he get out and have an epiphany?

    We seem to have reevaluated goals just at the point where our preparation was nearing completion, meaning we didn't actually get around to DOING anything particularly evil. Iniziare Citta was meant to be the first, but the whole death and destruction was largely the fault of some spectacularly ugly cats.

    Most of our interactions with the wider world have been in the form of politicking and establishing allies, such as the events at the tower, and in the goblin and kobold towns.

  • Be sure to bring Dompag so you can crush that Ridder bastard for totally lying and fucking you over. Hell, bring Ash and Finesse too. Smash that furry fuck's face in.

  • He can't bring Ashadel nor Dompag. They have to guard the base. He can't bring Tislomer nor Ona. They have burn business to attend to. He can't bring the Denlings. They have to scout around the base. He can't bring the odds. They have to repair the hole in the base. That being said, he should bring Finesse and Babrakus.

  • FUCK guarding the base. Didn't they just make a bunch of traps to guard the base? Plus it's not like we're gonna be gone forever. You just need your muscle long enough to smash some sense into that motherfucker of a knight who backstabbed you under the pretense of friendship. Plus, if you can drag him back and throw him in a cage too, then you can show him how you consider attempts on your life.

    A little vicious beating never hurt anyone.

  • You're jumping to conclusions. Ridder might not know it's Muschio in the cave. I suggest we GO AND CLEAR THIS UP, like any rational person would do.

  • FUCK THAT I much prefer to smash in and beat the shit out of people so you can scream the answers in their face later while you're waterboarding them and having your ogre break his fingers. Jumping to conclusions is awesome.

    Plus, you're gonna be the Devil. The Devil doesn't have to be reasonable or rational.

  • I thought Muschio is trying to be good.

  • I think he just gave up being evil for the sake of being evil. He still wants to rule, not just destroy. He still wants to get back his old kingdom and ,I'm hoping, continue on his fathers old track and use that to forge a massive empire that swallows up all the other realms, wheter they want to or not.

  • No, all he said was he wasn't gonna try and be evil just to be evil anymore, and that he was gonna ignore morality altogether and do what he considers best.

    That being said, I can't stress the "break that lying fucker's knees" part enough.

  • You are under the impression that Ridder knows that Muschio is in charge of the cave(pro tip: he doesn't) And they certainly are friends.

    Where are you getting Ridder is a "lying fucker" from?

  • Well since I'm not cheating and using information found in one quest and bringing it to another, I'm just using the information we found here. Plus why does Muschio even trust Ridder? Because a long time ago when he was still a prince they were friends? People change man.

    I'm getting that he's a lying fucker from the fact that he smiled and told Muschio that he looked forward to seeing him again while hiring a thief and assassin to fuck with his life. That sounds like the actions of a lying prick, not a friend.

  • I say, I believe there's a very reasonable explanation to all this.

    But until we got it, Ridder is the enemy.
    Now, who could we bring to uncover how deep the treachery of your best friend goes?

  • head on more like hard on

  • Let me reiterate this. RIDDER DOES NOT KNOW THAT MUSCHIO IS THE BOSS! Nore does Muschio have any reason to assume Ridder does.

    You can assume 2 things if your not being meta here.

    #1: Ridder knows Mushchio is the boss. But spectacularly underestimates Mushchios powers of espionage and intelligence in general. Because he GAVE us a map to his location.

    This also assumes Ridder is a complete fucking tard. Cus if Muschio is able to poison Ridder in a camp that is hostile to his forces, what would make him think Muschio doesn't know where he lives?

    #2: Ridder doesn't know Muschio is The Boss and this is a legitimately welcomed reunion. Based on the fact that they are long time friends.

    Occam's razor up in this bitch.

    Sides, all your suggestions are brutish and simple. Two traits highly unlike Muschio, or someone who is going to rule the world in general. We are an overlord, not a common thug. If we are to assume Ridder does know we are The Boss then running into a trap, even with backup, is just foolish. Muschio has no idea what kind of forces Ridder has.

  • That doesn't jive with the rest of Ridder's behavior. He was really concerned for Muschio's safety, and I'm guessing that even unarmed in a bathhouse, if Ridder wanted to kill Muschio then he could have.

  • ...No offense, Muschio.

  • Muschio's not brutish and simple? He thought that Zel guy was the one trying to kill him, so he went to the guy's place and beat the dude with backup. I'm actually agreeing with Green. Bring a beatsquad, and ask if you can speak with him privately. Get some answers out of that fuck.

  • That last bit is a valid point. If Muschio does go, he's going to need to bring something a bit more powerful than Dom. Who knows what kind of power this Ridder character has. I'm not game for risking his life.

    I wonder if Finesse has cooked up any surprises lately.

  • Zel organised the rebellion that killed his family and exiled him. Ridder helped him escape that, and judging from the springs is unaware that it is in fact Muschio in the Vault.

    We knew he might respond badly to our stance up until our meeting with him, that's why Muschio kept it quiet. The most rational explanation for the current situation is that Ridder is in pretty much the same position as ourselves, as both parties have been skirting around the periphery of each other.

    The hostile invader who injured Tislomer doesn't seem very compatible with Ridder anyway. He had the very specific, likely occult goal of the amulet, which doesn't gel at all with the mild spying we know Ridder's group has been up to - he would have launched a full offensive a while back if he knew the fort that well. Besides, we know his moral code would make eliminating a potential threat the goal, not some trinket of power. The teleporting thief seemed to have both the wrong motivation and far too much in the way of resources.

    The next move should be to proceed as originally planned, albeit with more caution. If, as seems likely, the thief was from a third party then it may be time to consider moving towards an alliance to defeat a serious threat. Remember the thief debated calling backup, so we know he wasn't their strongest hand by a good distance. And if he wasn't their muscle, things could get nasty when their troops DO arrive.

  • You know, since we're metagaming anyhow...

    Hey Muschio you know how Ridder is in charge of a group called Knights Blades? Well that's the group that actually started the rebellion. He's housing his mom there at his place. She had an active hand in the fall of your father.

  • Yeah, that probably was getting kind of meta there. I still don't think the kneejerk 'Ridder is a lying backstabber' response quite works though, since Muschio is supposed to know Ridder very well. Even though our familiarity is mostly from knight blades, Muschio's isn't.

  • I mean, you could just also assume a third thing. If Ridder DID hire an assassin, he obviously didn't intend to be caught as the one hiring the assassin. The invite to his place was to see if the assassination attempt was successful. And you know what? Brutish and simple works well. It works especially well if the guy you're being brutish AT doesn't think you're gonna do it.

    My only point is, Muschio KNEW Ridder well. Years ago. Like I said, people change man. After all the guy's a knight. What if he's just workin' for the new king?

  • Guess we could always ask the princess about that.

  • Wait, invite to see if the assassination was a success? That makes no sense. If your assassin pulled it off, he'll come back and tell you. If you REALLY don't trust him (not much room for error when you slit a throat though), send a second assassin.
    You don't draw a map to your base and say 'stop over any time'

    Besides, even assuming the teleporting freak came from Ridder we know what its goal was: the amulet. We haven't seen an assassination attempt so far.

  • If you really are the devil you won't have any trouble killing a friend.

  • So we're metagaming AND lying? Because yes, his mom WAS part of that group, but he wasn't or even knew about it until he met her like... days ago?

  • Hell if Ridder's after the amulet then maybe he's hoping if his hired thief is a failure then Muschio will just bring the amulet right to him, seeking advice on what to do with it. Then he can take it. That makes a lot of sense to me.

  • It's something of a longshot gamble that we'd bring it along as we know him as a warrior, not a mystic. We can overcome that possibility as of now by not bringing it. So that's sorted.

  • Man you get real upset when people have an opinion that is opposite of yours. Why even have a quest if we're all gonna post the same thing?

    Nothing I said there was a lie. The lies you perceived were conjecture on your part.

  • Ridder wouldn't stoop to hiring a thief to rob his friend. He'd do it himself.

  • Well that doesn't help matters much if he just hires someone to steal it again while he's having Muschio over, does it?

    Well then why don't we just completely disregard the information our spies give us is what you're saying. Maybe someone working FOR Ridder hired the guy to take it from us.

    This whole argument is getting really stupid. That's usually why people just post a suggestion and don't argue in the thread, because it turns into a big stupid clusterfuck.

  • Even if he doesn't know it's Muschio, he still uses such methods as theft and his minions are most violent. That should atleast shake up your view of him, boss.

  • I agree, can we get a mod to move this over to the discussion page?

  • You said he's in charge of the Knight Blades. He's not.

  • ?
  • holy balls where did you hear about boxer hockey?

  • Chalkboardular healing. :3

1037

Muschio:

Very well, it's time to get going.

"Finesse!"

"Y-... yes, Master?"

"Let's go! You're coming along!"

"Y-Yes Master! I'll be right out!"

My minions are giving me funny looks.
"We're going to visit Sir Ridder. Babrakus, you're with me."

"...but boss-"

Tislomer turns around excitedly.

"I'm coming too! If Babrakus is coming I'm coming too!"

Ona says nothing, but gets a worried expression.

  • So, what's the plan, then?

    Charge in with a full entourage and... shout at him?

    Do you have a plan?

  • ...better not. Unless Ona thinks she can treat her while we travel.

  • "Erm... problem Ona?"

  • Don't you think Ridder will find it rather suspicious if you show up with almost an army in tow?

  • I don't think so. He's coming for a visit so it would make sense to bring his friends as well.

  • "Something wrong, Ona?"

1038

Muschio:

"Erm... problem, Ona?"

"Welllll... far be it from me to tell you how to do your job, but I thought you wanted me to help this poor girl. Gonna be pretty hard to do that when you guys are headed cross-country."

  • "Gosh fine you can come along Ona but be warned that this might be one of those rape things."

  • "This is one of those 'Take me along with you' scenarios, isn't it?"

  • You should probably stay here Tislomer... Doctor's orders and all.

  • "Think you could do it while we travel?"

  • I say we swap out Tislomer for Dompag and call back Ethos and his crew to guard the place while we confront Ridder.

  • Tell Tislomer that she has to stay and get helped by Ona, and that you'll be back as soon as possible. Also tell her if too many people leave the base, something bad might happen.

  • Ashedel is really the only minion you have who's an appropriate sidekick on missions. Even then, she's your best administrator...

    Ashedel or no one.

  • Wait, you did put out the fire, didn't you? We don't want that to spread.

  • No no, leave Ashedel and Dompag here as guards. If THEY can't handle the place, no one can.

    We're not going to a war, gentlemen. We're going for lunch.

  • We need the big guns for a mission like this though. Dompag, Ashedel, and Babrakus.

    Also, did you extinguish the little fires in your office? Can't have the place burn down while we're gone.

1039

Muschio:

Yes, of course I extinguished the fire. I'm not a fool.

"Very well, Ona. Would you rather come along?"

"Wh-what...? C-... you want me to come visit your friend in his fortress? Isn't he a Leferran?"

"Yes, but I don't see-"

"Um! L-look, I-I'll just stay here. I don't really like long walks. That's all."

"Very well, I suppose. Tislomer, you have to stay here."

"No! Nooooo! I wanna stay with Babrakus!"

"Tislomer..."

"No, it's not fair! If you go I go! Don't leave me!"

  • Dompag is our door guard... if we take him we leave the base undefended.

  • I guess we can't bring Babrakus, then.

  • Hmm, what does she have against Leferrans?

  • Leave Tislomer and Babrakus. Bring Ashedel. Between yourself, Finesse, and Ash you should be able to handle just about anything.

  • "You folks want some cheese with your whine?"

  • Gotta be Ashedel or no one, as I see it. Dompag is our guard, (and Ridder will immediately recognize him, not that we know that) and we can't bring Tislomer, Babrakus, AND Ona. And we can't bring one of them without the other two.

    Am I missing anyone? (The scouts don't count)

  • They don't seem to respect your position. They treat you like a store manager.

  • Right, do we need Babrakus for any particular reason?

    Let's swap him for Ashedel if she's available. Her and Finnie should be enough. We're not planning on starting a siege. Yet.

  • Give in to her demands. We are trying to be a good boss, lets listen to our underlings.

    "I'm sorry Babrakus. Can you stay behind and guard Tislomer for me? She needs to stay here for treatment."

  • Ash is pretty capable, you should be fine with her and Finesse.

  • RIDDER IS GOING TO BITE YOUR FINGER.

    BE CAREFUL WHEN YOU PUT YOUR HANDS NEAR HIS FACE. HE'S A MAAAAAAAAAD FINGER BITER. CAN'T RESIST THE FINGERS. BITE. FINGER.

1040

Muschio:

"Oh for... all right, fine. Babrakus, I want you to stay here and guard Ona and Tislomer. Make sure nothing happens."

"Aye-aye... thanks, boss. I just want to be here for Tislomer during... you know."

"Fine, fine. I'll bring Ashedel along instead."

Tislomer claps her hands together once, rubbing her palms happily.

"Thanks boss! You're the best!"

  • She took that knife off her head oh thank crap...

  • Muschio, what exactly are you feeling about this revelation? Ridder's obviously dangerous. He may not know you're his enemy but he knows the location of your base and it's only a matter of time before he shows up at your door with an army behind him.

    If you're not up to killing your childhood friend, and since he's not likely to join you when he knows your intentions, then perhaps after this visit we can try to convince him "the boss" has moved elsewhere.

  • First we try diplomacy.

    If that fails, we return to base and plot to kick his ass.

  • Anyways, let's go confront ourselves a Leferran!

  • What army? it's barely a squad.

  • How do you know it's just a squad?

  • Good thing Muschio's an army of one!

1041

Muschio:

They're all good points. I have to determine exactly how much Ridder knows about me, about his enemy in the cave. If luck is on my side, perhaps he is not yet aware. Otherwise, I fear what may come.

But I know this much: This is no trap. Ridder is an honorable man and he has always been a dutiful friend to me. I know that if he believes we must battle, he would do so in an open declaration. He would not lure me into a trap or stab me in the back as I eat dinner. Those are not the actions of a Knight of Piacevole.

And Ridder was one of the greatest knights.

I suppose we will just have to see what happens.

  • Tell us more about Ridder. Did he have any family?

  • Something occurred to me, Muschio. Did you ever tell Ona who you were visiting, or why? She inferred that it was a Leferran, which I find odd, and her flustering over it even moreso. Before you get too far on your way, you may wish to consider how much you can trust her in your base.

    Aside from that, head to Ridder's operation and ready yourself for one hell of a talk.

  • And what of his companions? How do you know they won't stab you in the back without his knowledge? Evil people do tend to gain quite a few enemies.

  • Indeed... if he is unaware of us perhaps this can be turned to our advantage? He seemed an honest if rather serious fellow from your description and our encounter with him at the spring.

  • All the same, you would do well to watch your back.

  • Did Ridder enjoy the naked women throwing themselves at his feet? Maybe we can take advantage here with Ashedel if he did. Or with yourself if he didn't.
    Tell Finesse not to do anything ridiculous to try and get your approval, then wink.

  • I half expected you to say "That is what I would do."

  • Oh man, Muschio, you are bringing a gift, aren't you? Like a bottle of wine, or some cake?

    It is not done to visit a friend's home without some small thing!

  • Better yet: a cake big enough for Ashadel to pop out of!

  • Bottle of wine, cake, maybe a lust potion or transformation powder.

    On a completely unrelated note, just how portable are monster portals? I know you like your hole in the ground, and I'm sure it has many pleasant memories attached, but the location is starting to become notable.

1042

Ona:

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

WHO'S THERE?!
I CAN HEAR YOU!
SHOW YOURSELF!

  • Look at your hand. No, the one with the shard in it.

  • What?

    How are we talking to you? Did you get a shard in your finger, too?

  • Um.

    Hi.

    We can't really show ourselves 'cause we don't have a physical form to show you.

    Sorry.

  • God...damn are you a jumpy one.

    Seriously. What the hell fucked you up as a young'un to make you so freakin' twitchy?

  • WHAT

    WHO? WHERE?!?

  • heh, we're inside you, heh.

  • Ona, do you remember Finnie with that shard thing?
    That was a magical object. We live in the shards of a very special thing Muschio owns.

    We're guiding voices, whose purpose is to help and provide advice and keep people from being raped.

    Now, please calm down... would you kindly?

  • Rape caves, I imagine.

1043

Ona:

Huh? What? Hand? No, I... Finesse didn't touch my hands...

Shards?
I... hm.
I don't know, earlier when I was freaking out I tripped in the workshop and sat on something sharp. I thought it was a splinter, but...
Huh. So this is magical?

Is that why you sound like Mister Muschio?

  • That's correct. Muschio's voice is in your butt.

  • ...we're in you're ass? ...I don't know if I should be happy or disgusted with this development.

  • Sure, lets go with that. By the way, nice ass.

  • So, any progress with Tislomer?

  • Yes. Think of us as a guiding spirit of sorts.

    Now please take us out of your ass.

  • Pretty much, dear.
    So, I get the feeling you could use our help with something about now... could you? Or would you just like someone to talk with? We can do that, too.

  • Regardless, it is nice to meet you. Out of curiousity, what species are you? We've never seen one of, well, whatever it is you are before.

  • And here I was just about to ask if you'd sat on any strange glass shards lately. Fancy that.

    Yeah, we're apparently, like, part of his brain. We give advice on what to do. Insofar as "a couple dozen crazies arguing over what suggestions are liable to procure the most hilarious results" can be construed as advice.

    Seems a bit strange at first, but if the decision-making centre of your brain were separated and placed in a glass orb that could project all those thoughts upon others, I daresay you'd also be surprised at what came out of it.

  • I think we're actually more of a 'decision aid' than an actual part of Muschio's psyche. He did say he acquired us in part due to his indecisiveness.

  • Eh, we're part of him but not exactly. Think of us as a separate entity. We're a supplemental psyche contained in an orb, and we can talk with whoever holds the orb or any bits that come off.

  • We're pretty much why you keep getting the vibe that this is one of those rape things. Don't worry, we don't normally actually get people to pull that off.

  • A gypsy curse did it, it split his mind in half, memory is yet still his, but decisions come from us.

    You can't really lift curses could 'ya?

    Just checking.

  • "It is I, Mushcio Malto himself. I'm inside of you."

1044

Ona:

Oh, I see how it is. So to get this medium-channeling-device out, I have to have someone take a look at my butt.
Nice try. Very clever.

Sorry to hear about the whole mind-breaking thing but it sure explains a lot.

As for me, I don't think I need any help making any decisions. I know I have to help heal this poor kobold.

  • Your hat is squinting.

  • Well, you're a witch doctor. You could probably get it out yourself with a mirror and some tweezers.

  • You could have one of the girls get it out for you, if you really want. Finnesse would probably be the most knowledgeable about the shards and their removal.

    So. You need to heal the kobold. What are you gonna use the potions for? We used one from the same rack, and it turned some guy into a catfolk. They might all be transmogrification potions.

  • Well, if you'd prefer us removed, you could try to get us out yourself (though that might be difficult); or you could ask Finesse. She's got the hots for Muschio, so it's not like she'd pull anything weird on you.

    Anyway. Treating Tislomer, right?

  • Is your hat alive?

  • You are going to be stuck with us until you get that shard out.

    Since we see things in third person can we find a way to move the pov around to get an upskirt?

    We're in your butt, looking at your panties.

  • Yes, please do your best. We like Tislomer, and we'd like to see her back to her unburned self again.

  • Heh, good luck with that.

  • how ARE you going to treat the kobold?

  • Hey, we didn't ask to be sat on. Besides, as long as you're hanging around that shouldn't really need addressing anyway.

    Speaking of, it's awesome that you're here to help Tislomer. Stand-up job of you. Would you be willing to consider longer-term employment if such a proposition were to arise?

  • You know, we are pretty useful even if you don't listen to our advice. You can ask us stuff, or have us relay messages. We're pretty honest, but don't many secrets unless there's a good reason.

  • On a completely unrelated note, you've been with us only a couple days and yet you've already formed quite a connection with the people here. So how's about apropomasition. Hows about you stay here a while, and if you like you can stay as long as you want, we'll provide food, shelter and we got okay health care, especially when it comes to nymph's jinx. But if you don't it's fine, it's not like staying here will protect you from stalkers and the such.But you can make decisions on your own right?

  • Why in the hell do you think of these things? Why do you think every goddamn part of this has something to do with perverse motives? Granted this orb shard is perverted, what with being Muschio's urges being in here. Why must you insist on these suspicions?

  • Because TGchan, that's why. :3

1045

Ona:

Well, I'm doing all I can for the kobold, and she's in a pretty bad way, but I'll help what I can. The poultice I've applied is my own special recipe, a mixture of healing salves and regenerative herbs I've become acquainted with.
It still needs time to set before activating though.

As for your uses, I'm not sure I trust you yet. In fact I don't know if I trust anyone here! What about that huge ogre guy? I saw that gleam in his eyes! Don't think I don't know what THAT means.

  • seems trustworthy to me...

  • You know you'd love Dompag to plow your southern fields.

  • Besides he's actually a gentleman, a secret gentleman. Don't tell anyone else (shh!).

  • It's true that Dompag wants you. But he won't rape you, I promise.

  • The ogre? Dompag is no threat, don't worry. He's polite, especially to ladies. He'd never, ever rape you. He does, however, want to have sex with as many different races of women as possible. So he might try to flirt with you a bit. Just tell him to go away if you think he's gross, and he'll do it.

    We've been unable to see her face. How bad is it?

  • This does not bode well.

  • We're also psychic, you know. We can read your mind.

    And we know what you did.

  • The solid truth is, he IS interested. He has a 'thing' for exotic girls. However, he won't force himself on you, if you make sure he knows you aren't interested.

    Also, thank you for helping Tilsomer. She's a very sweet 'bold. Smart too, she's an herbalist.

  • You are now imagining yourself exposed but cradled in Dompag's leathery, warm hands as he demonstrates what a tongue the size of an expensive steak can do.

  • Oh, why are you scared of Leferrans?

  • Good! You would do well not to blindly heed whatever ridiculous bullshit some of us might suddenly come up with. Not that ridiculous bullshit doesn't sometimes manifest itself regardless, but it's good to keep an independent train of thought.

    So, looks like Tislomer's set for the time being. (how is she even breathing anyway) Have you had a chance to identify any of those weird potions yet?

1046

Ona:

I KNEW IT!
I knew that gleam in his eyes!
Oh sure he's a gentleman NOW, but just watch, one of these days he's going to just get too pent up to deal with it and then you can bet I'LL be out of town! Someone that size probably doesn't take kindly to people who don't play his way!

As for Leferrans, I heard some horrible stories about them. A high priest once told me that they have mind control powers and the men can sway any woman they want just be looking at them! Their very gaze!

The world is a dangerous place!

  • O.O

    Uhh, her bandages are leaking!

  • [OOC]I'm sure it's just the one.[/ooc]

  • Tislomer's leaking a bit.

  • Are the bandages supposed to ooze blue stuff? D:

    As for Leferran mind control... I doubt it. I think they just overflow with pheromones.

  • Wait. How is she breathing through that?

  • That... would actually explain a lot.

    But, yeah, uhh those bandages are looking rather oozing right now, oh god what's happening

  • How about you stop talking about potential rape for a second and look at your patient.
    She's leaking.

1047

Ona:

Ah, yes! So the poultice has set!
It's time!

The ritual!

"On dsusweil m'nem na toht, eimb sem'met ma on ymot!"

"What's she saying?"

"Quiet!"

"Bem ha bem, fa'tong catul, eiys coa coa kombool!"

"I don't understand a word she's saying."

"Babrakus!! SHHHH!"

  • keep an eye on babrakus if you can he's freaking out

  • OO EE OO AHH AHH TING TANG WALLA WALLA BING BANG
    OO EE OO AHH AHH TINGTANGWALLAWALLABINGBANG

    Shut your trap Brabrakus for once in your life.

  • Oh yeah, I'd almost forgotten the whole "witch" part of the witch doctor thing. Uhh, this doesn't involve sacrificing something does it

1048

Ona:

"Om kmem hata t'met!"

"Oh! Oh! It's working! I can feel it! I feel all tingly!"

  • SWEET ROLLER WHAT THE HELL.

  • After this, do the bandages come off?

  • BOSS FIGHT

    GET READY BABRAKUS

  • Klaatu Baroda Nikto!

  • We'll find out soon I guess.

1049

Ona:

"It is done. Babrakus, help her remove the bandages."

"Oh! Oh I'm so excited! Babrakus hurry hurry hurry! I'm so excited oh gosh!"

"Calm down I have to be careful."

"Oh my gosh this is it!"

  • inb4 HORRIBLE MONSTROSITY

  • Brace for impact!

  • F5F5F5F5F5

    Oh lordy please be OK.

  • The suspense is killing me!

1050

Ona:

"Well? How do I look??"

  • SON OF A BITCH. D:<

  • What the FUCK

    ONA YOU'RE A BAD DOCTOR

  • ...that's different.

  • :O!

  • uhhhhhh.

  • ಠ_ಠ

  • HAHA OH WOW!!

  • Close enough.

  • Well, its... better?
    But, yeah. I hope you can undo that.
    I think she might be a little mad.

  • you remember she was a kobold right..this is because there wasnt enough face left..right.

1051

Ona:

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!"

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHH!"

"...AAAAAAAAAHHHHHH WHY ARE WE YELLING AAAAAAHHHHHHH!"

  • Somebody grab a catfolk potion.

  • AAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!

    ...Nothing!

  • Quick! Find a potion that will turn her into a kobold!

  • HAHAHA

  • AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

  • AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA I DON'T KNOW.

  • good thing we happen to know of a certain leferran with a kobold potion.....

  • One of those potions is a kobold transformation potion... right?
    RIGHT?

  • AAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH DOES THIS MAKE ME POPULAR?!

  • Well... it's... healed.

    Technically.

  • GGGGGGRRRRRRRRRRAAAAAAANNNNNNNNNNNYYYYYYYYYYYY

1052

Ona:

Okay okay okay.

Slight mix-up.

I didn't realize that part of the ceremony was so specific. Let's try this again. No harm, no foul.

"Are you sure you got it right this time?"

"Pretty sure!"

"That means you're not sure!"

"Just take the cloth off already!"

  • Good this this is apparently a do-over capable ritual.

    ....and since I didn't get to do it earlier:
    AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!

  • You know, it's kinda like you raped Tislomer's face, her very identity.

    Why would you do that Ona? She trusted you...

1053

Ona:

"...how do I look? Did it... did it come out okay?"

  • That is PERFECT.

  • HHHNNNNNNNNGGGGG

  • Yay!

  • ONA HUG CUTESTBOLD

  • Turn to the other side real quick

  • so how long before her face melts off revealing the horribly scarred flesh beneath?

  • Uh... can we get a shot of the left side? We can't quite see it.

  • ^.^!!! Success!

  • Hey it worked! ...now show the other side to make sure.

  • Aaaaaand now I have diabeetus. Awesome.

  • GET ON WIT IT!!!!

  • D'awwwww

  • GREAT SUCCESS! :D

  • You done good, Ona. You done good.

  • Ohhh shit that's right we're only looking at one side of her face.

  • Damn it man, don't jinx it!

  • Show her a mirror and let her decide for herself.

  • Hey good work Ona. I'm sure Mushio will be very grateful and give you anything in his power to give. Anything.

  • Yeah, anything. Like a hot dicking.
    Wait, no, that was a bad thing for me to say. I didn't mean that.

    Hey Ona, you're pretty cool.

  • Is she gonna need an eyepatch, or did you manage to heal her eye?

  • If she wasn't able to, Tislomer could cosplay as Coralina!

  • Mudkip, start screaming again.

    Then tell her you were joking.

  • ?
  • DAMNIT DON'T DO THAT!

  • That's hilarious.

  • hahaahahaha

  • HEALER IS CREDIT TO TEAM

  • ?

    Couldn't resist.

  • Well we got good news and bad news.

    The good news is the left side of your face.

    The bad news is the right.

    Note: Side effects include but are not limited to psychopathic thinking and making all your decisions based on the flip of a coin.

  • LMAO

1054

Ona:

"It worked!"

"Babrakus... do I... do I really look better now?"

"Oh, Tislomer. You look exactly the same to me."

1055

Ona:

"...you okay?"

"I... don't understand it... she thought it was romantic last time I said that."

"Hey, lover boy. That line only works when the girl thinks she looks WORSE, never when she thinks she looks BETTER."

  • Looks like you have free reign for a while, anyone you wanna hang out with?

  • She won't. She'll think it's one of those rape things.

  • What a dumb bitch. I hope that kobold guy finds someone better.

  • You should go explain to her that her appearance never diminished because you see her through the eyes of your heart.

    Or some romantic bullshit like that.

  • Let the kobolds work it out themselves. They should be fine now.

    We wanna know more about you now. What are you, where are you from and why were you selling drugs in Sepia town?

1056

Ona:

You want to know more about me? I suppose. I suspect ulterior motives, but it's not a big secret or anything.

I'm a Kepling. My kind mostly lives along the southeast and eastern coast.
As for why I was selling drugs in Sepia Town -- come on, do you really have to ask? It's good money. Everyone wants what I'm selling, especially in a seedy place like that. You just gotta watch your ass and bring the right stuff and people will be throwing cash at you like it's going out of style.

  • Ona, do you think cash will ever go out of style?

  • could you
    uh
    could you masturbate for us?
    i
    i just
    i want to see
    i just want to look
    please

  • I just think you could have had a sweeter set up than being a street vendor for drugs. Finding dumb muscle there couldn't have been that hard. Set yourself up as the middle man, you give other people ready access to the market in Sepia town and the street pushers get their drugs from you and you get say 40% of the profit, or more.

    Oh and ignore the perverts. I'm not sure where they came from. So what are your plans now? I'm sure Mushio will appreciate it if you decide to stay and he has some ambitous plans for the future, if he succeds then all who supported him stands to gain alot.

  • quiet you, she's already worried that this is a rape thing.

  • ...it isn't? Well FUCK, looks like someone forgot to circulate the memo. Anybody want some roofies? No way I'm getting that money refunded. If anyone needs me I'll be in the back getting out of the leather.

1057

Ona:

Oh, don't tell me how to sell drugs. I know my way around the scene. I've been doing it for long enough to know how to avoid trouble most of the time. But there's always risks.

And yeah, I don't mind kicking around here for a while. Seems like a pretty lax place despite how wound up the boss is, everyone's just sort of doin' their own thing.

  • please
    uh
    show us
    show us your vagina
    it must be so
    so round and juicy
    i
    i want to see it
    ona
    ona
    ona

  • Where'd you get your hat? Muschio would love to wear it.

  • Oh god don't start that shit again please

  • You know the boss is looking for ways to increase revenue and Tislomer is quite good at collecting herbs and growing stuff.

    What do you think of setting up shop here? You would have a safe place to grow drugs and you could set up a network of street pushers in Sepia to do the work for you. And if anyone gives you trouble then there is Mushio, Ashedal and Dompag who are quite capable of handling troubles and two of them are quite happy with maiming people for almost no reasons at all.

  • If you're so good, why did you go with someone for what you were convinced was "one of those rape things?"

  • It'd look even better on the floor in his office... Implying it was taken off for sex.

    Say, Ona, have you been raped before? What's your fascination with it?

  • So, find out anything interesting about those mystery potions yet?

  • Ever tried tying your ears back?

1058

Ona:

Nah, I haven't found out much about the potions, but I'm not an alchemist. I'll leave it for Tislomer.

Ever tried tying your ears back?

Eh? These aren't ears.

I suppose setting up shop here might not be so bad, s'long as Mister Muschio doesn't mind. Might be a pretty sweet deal, especially if I can get the stuff out.
Yeah... yeah, I'll consider it.

  • ona
    i want to
    lick your juices
    off your soft
    vagina
    ona

  • So long as he gets a decent cut of the action I'm pretty sure he would be up for it. He has rather flexible morals. So long as it benefits him he can probably be convinced to go along with most things.

  • what on earth is that you're chewing on

  • Well he is technically evil. I think. Also he needs more funds. So I see no reason to refuse.

  • Well he's pretty wobbly right now, but a pharmacy kind of thing? Can't see any good reason for him to refuse. Maybe you could front?

  • Yeah, giving the boss a chance to earn some revenue would be great. You'd fit in quite well.

  • Nanroot probably... stuff give a good buzz raw I hear... only after refining and distillation does it have its more.. "potent" effects.

  • I thought buzzroot gave you a decent buzz.

  • Excuse my impertinence, dear, but I am curious. You seem to have more at your command than the mere admixture of herbs and substances. That ritual you used before, for example.

    You have elucidated on the "doctor" portion: perhaps you would enlighten us as to the "witch"?

  • What's that you're eating?

  • One interpretation of 'witch doctor' is a person that heals the ails that 'witches' cause, both by treating them, and by hunting down the witches that cause these problems.
    Though in this case 'witches' could be anything from evil magic users to ordinary people using old superstitious charms to hurt others.

  • I guess "witch doctor" means an unholy combination of science and black magic.

  • Okay, here's a sane, useful question. Do you know much about the kingdom south of this mountain? Maps seem to place it pretty close to the oceans.. And the old kingdom was supposedly very interested in 'monster' races near it.

  • What are they?

  • Oh yeah. If not ears, what are they? Is that your hair?

  • Head tentacles.

  • Logically speaking, they should be gills.

  • With that sort of logic you'll be suggesting we keep her out of water so that she changes to her secret adult form.

    So, Ona, what do you know about magic? We have had some indications that our man Muschio might have the makings of a good magic man, and if you were able to hook him up with appropriate education... it'd be a good thing to have a man like him in debt to you, don't you think?

1059

Ona:

Eh, this? This is hopweed, some real good stuff. Gives a nice buzz to help get through the day.

As for witchdoctory... it's a little complicated. Not something most people can just pick up in short order, and requires a good knowledge of ceremonial and ritual magic. That's my specialty, really.
I'm a decent herbalist and a great healer when you consider my more mystical backup but I know next to nothin' about potions and mixtures like that. There's a difference between an herbalist, like me, and an alchemist, like Tislomer.

My history... how I got into all this, I mean, it's a lot complicated. But it suits to say it's sort of my calling. So I may not know the kind'a magic that lets me throw fire and lightning out my hands, but I'm proud of what I got.
I like it just fine.

  • What are the side effects of hopweed? Paranoia, perhaps?

  • Eh... could you not slobber so much?

    Anyway. So what kind of family you got?

  • Considering what you just managed to do, you certainly should be proud.

  • ona suck my dick omnomnom

  • Now that's definitely a rape thing. Maybe.

  • So what kind'a magic do you got?

    And if as you say herbalism and alchemy are different, do you think you and Tis' together could accomplish more if Your Powers Combined? Seems to me an alchemist could make a lot of impressive stuff with a herbalist backing them, and vice versa.

1060

Ona:

Ugh, don't be gross. I'm not drooling, it's just the syrupy sap from the hopweed. That's where the magic is, you gotta kind of gnaw on the stem and suc--

You know what, forget it.

Anyway yeah I'm feeling pretty good about what happened with Tislomer, it's good to see how much it means to her. I wouldn't mind working with her, if she's as good around potions and bombs and stuff as you say she is.

  • ona you can suck on my dick and it will give you sticky syrup also i will fuck you afterwards
    so what do you say
    lets do this

  • You KO'ed your hat.

  • She's pretty good. Hey, could you do us a favor and see if she's started identifying those potions yet?

  • Actually, you know how you made Tisolmer look like she used to look? Being able to change people's appearances could come in real handy for espionage.

    Am I the only one beginning to get annoyed by your shenanigans?

  • Yeah I'm also curious for info on this ability to change appearances. That sounds like a great tool for wacky hijinx. Er, I mean evildoing.

  • No... but it's somewhat expected for a collection of crazed voices to have one or two of... *cough* 'that' caliber. Anyhow, I too would like to know about your more "magical" abilities.

    Like that little facelift you pulled off.

1061

Ona:

Sheesh, don't you know anything about witch doctors? I'm a cures and curses kind of a person.

I'm gonna... space out for a while.
Why don't you guys go visit someone else?

  • Okay, but beware of ogres. Just a heads up.

    Maybe we should just see how Tislomer's doing personally?

  • ona im going to take advantage of you while youre passed out
    just know that

    everyone else will be talking with muschio

    but you and i
    we're going to have fun

  • hmmm... how Dompag right now I wonder? I would like to know a little about our subversion tactics on the princess.

  • Hrm. How about Dompag? Tislomer and Babrakus probably need a little privacy at this point.

  • Let's see how Dompag is doing.

1062

Muschio:

Why does everything taste soft all of a sudden

  • What the hell?

    Are you high, Muschio?!

  • .... did Ona getting buzzed transfer or something?

  • What in the fuck?

  • Oh shit! The effects of the hopweed are bleeding over from Ona's psyche!
    Muschio's trippin BAAAAAAALLS!!!

  • Sit down before you trip over yourself.

  • Muschio! Look Left!

    Squirrel!

  • What? We're supposed to have been sent to Dompag! Ona fucked everything up.

    Muschio try sending us to someone else. Anyone. It'll probably give a random result anyway.

  • Ona was chewing some hopweed. She accidentally sat on a shard and... hmm that must mean we can carry emotional and physiological states as well as mere information.

    A good reason to take better care of your subjects huh?

  • We can transfer mental states to others?!

    Ho boy, we suddenly have a dangerous super-power.

  • You might want to tell the others you don't feel so well.

  • Oh fuck. Okay. Okay Chief just calm down and don't think about Ashedel's naked form in your heightened state.

1063

Muschio:

"HEY! HEYOU!"

"WHATHEHELLDYOUTHINURDNINAFRWHRICN"

Oh god I think someone is calling me

  • Say "ooohhh, the colors."

  • ...Hey Muschio, send us to Ashedel, maybe it's just you.

  • "Dude. You have got to like chill the fuck out and slow the fuck down, bro."

  • Oh lord.
    Just sit down or something and ride it out.

  • Umm we should try to transfer to someone else I think. Anyone except the boss.

  • Where are you right now? Are you midway to your destination or almost there?

  • Stand perfectly still.

    They can't see you.

  • Fall down.

  • Try not to turn around too suddenly. Just very carefully grab finesse's shoulder and let her know you are seeing sounds.

  • THERE'S A GIANT CAT WITH A GREEN NOSE BEHIND YOU

    RUN

  • Pretty sure he's somewhere behind you. Turn slowly so you don't get too dizzy, and hopefully your compatriots aren't as buzzed as you and can help deal with this encounter.

  • THIS. We need to see if the others are tripping out as well.

  • Dude, chill. Just let the good vibes flow. Grab Ash and Fin and share a big group hug. Because life is alll righttttt.

    And tell whoever is shouting to chill with you.

1064

Muschio:

I sit down and go perfectly still
I think it works
whoever it is doesn't notice me

"WHATTHEFECKAREYEFECKNDNRNHREYETWTIMNHRTHNKRSGDOOYEWHYERNTATGDNYEBTRGTOUT"

"Heyyyyyyyy whhhhaaaat arrrreee yoooouuuu taaaalkiiinnng aboouuuuttt"

oh god

  • Did you ingest anything strange lately?

  • SLAP YOURSELF

  • "Hey, chill out. Is Ridder around?"

  • Hug Finesse, you need to confirm that she exists.

  • ... Maybe we can get it to stop if we leave Muschio and come back later?

  • Okay chief, ignore the bad voices and examine your hands.

  • Sweet jesus no! We're there!
    This will make communication... difficult.
    If not hilarious.

  • TRY TO SAY THIS: ORB GIVING BAD TRIP. CARRY ME.

  • Un-fuck yourself.

  • Try saying 'I HAVE BEEN POISONED'

  • "Me no feel good. Colors everywhere. Scary. Big scary."

  • translation:

    what the fuck are you fucking doing here you two timing whore you think you're so good do you whell youre not (??) ye better get out

  • Oh shit oh shit.

    Defensive wall. Arms. Now.

  • Perhaps you had better get Finesse away from the goblin. It looks like there's bad blood between them.

1065

Muschio:

"Hey, chill out... Is Ridder around?"

"EH? WHETTHEFECKDIDEESAY"

"IIII donnnn't knnoowwwwww IIIII caaaaann't unnnnderrrrrstaaaaaaaaaannnd himmmm"

"Mwom wom wom wommm wommbwom wom bwom wom"

  • "Harble harble harble harble harble."

  • Good. Now lie down and go limp. You will be comfortable on the ground- don't let them move you.

  • Ok communication isn't going to work like this. Just... fucking drop the damn orb for a minute.

  • Activate rock mode.

    Put your legs in your chest, clasp them with your arms, and roll away.

    It's the only way to stay safe while moving.

  • Might be time to just let yourself pass out, big fella. Lord knows nothing good can come of this.

  • Oh god Muschio, watch out, your hands grew an extra digit!

  • scream at the top of your lungs.

  • Dude, you gotta tell them your awesome idea about the pillow that combs your hair while you sleep. Duuuude, its the best idea ever. Duuuuuuuuuude, you're getting a Dell!

  • This suggestion is far superior to mine. Do it.

  • Oh I agree. Right now you're better off without us.

  • Actually, with all the stuff he's been telling us about his fractured mind it might be just as bad without the orb.
    But then again, he probably has no idea what an "orb" is right now.

1066

Muschio:

I loosen my grip on the orb, preparing to drop it and try to focus. Suddenly rock form doesn't seem that good of an idea.

"...N'whet th' feck'r you 'n' yer feckin' benkers beddy 'ere up'te?"

"Hey, back off, stranger. Finnie here's a friend of mine and I won't have you talking to her that way."

"Oh well e'scuse th'FECK outta me, y'feckin' s--"

"Calm down. Is Ridder around?"

"Eh? Th'feck? How d'ye feckin' know'bout 'im?"

  • Drop the orb. Drop it.

    DROP IT.

  • Ah, loosening your grip worked enough.

    Tell her that you're Ridder's childhood friend Muschio Malto, here to visit him.

  • Pass the orb to Finesse so you can think clearly but we can still have a handle on what's going on.

  • Maybe you should uh... Stick us in a pocket or something?
    Can we still keep contact if we aren't physically touching?

  • dude theres three chicks
    whip out your dick
    fuck em all

1067

Muschio:

I try to distance my mind from the orb a little, and the effects wane. Any further and I'll lose my connection, though.

The scrawny, cranky goblin eyes me suspiciously.
"I said I need to see Sir Ridder."

"Yeh? 'n' jes' who th'feck's asken'?"

"My name is Muschio Malto. I am an old friend of Sir Ridder. I've come to visit, on his invitation."

"...bloody-- w'll feck, y'don't look lek'a feckin' prince."

"Gee. Thanks."

"Eh! Feck it, c'mon."

Ashedel whispers to me.

"She sure seems nice."

  • Whisper back to her, "I'm high as a kite."

  • Ask Finesse if she knows that goblin.

  • Grek is... er, I mean that goblin has a bug up her ass or something. Anyways, follow Gre- er the cranky goblin and keep a loose grip on the orb. No more trippin' today.

  • Can you wrap up the orb in your sleeve a little bit, or some other folds of fabric? You don't want to risk dropping it, but reinforcing your grip on it doesn't seem like a hot idea either.

  • Maybe not so crudely, but definitely warn Ashedel and/or Finesse what just happened and to keep an eye on you if it should flare back up.

1068

Muschio:

"Master Muschio? Are you okay?"

"I am now. I don't know quite what happened. My head was swimming and I couldn't see straight. I wasn't myself."

"And you're sure it's passed?"

"For now, at least... Finesse, is there some kind of bad blood between you and... that young woman?"

"Are you kidding? I've never seen her before in my life!"

  • she must have seen finny before though because she recognised her on sight. maybe someone who is pissed about her leaving the tribe or something.

  • I guess we'll just have to inquire further.

  • You may want to see if the orb does the same thing to someone else. Although, if it's passed, it's passed.

    If his mother is here, you could use her to get to Ridder more so than one of his lackies. A lot of it depends on what you're going to do.

    Have you even made up your mind on how to approach this?

  • Perhaps she/we can learn while we're staying.

    By the way..

    How much of the surrounding countryside do you think could have seen the column of flame your passionate fury expelled from the mountain?

    You done burnt a hole clear through the summit.

  • Weird. She should figure out what her problem is when she gets a chance. For now though, just follow the goblin.

  • Ask the goblin it's name.

  • If this evenings festivities go awry, ask Ridder to lick the orb. Everyone in the entire room can enjoy a nice high.

  • Well Mushio you're there now. Be your smoothest sauvest self and make a lasting impression.

    And don't let on what you know now. If Ridder still hasn't figured stuff out then you can get him to divulge all of his plans and the status of his current forces. That information could be really useful in the future.

  • "Young woman" is relative with goblins. Remember, she could be older than you.

  • You know, it's just occured to me, we've been assuming that the aphrodisiac that finesse wanted to use was sent to the spies by mistake, but there were several bottles, so it's possible that some got the actual poison. If that is the case, you might have killed the spies.
    Now, I might be wrong, mind you, but this Ridder guy looks like the kind of guy that befriends his subbordinates, so there is a possibility that you had one of his friends killed.
    Hopefuly that didn't happen, but if it did, it may weigh heavily against you, Muschio.

  • that assumes that there were multiple poisoned bottles, since muschio obviously had a dose. seems unlikely, especially since muschio only asked for the one to be made.

  • you know... god knows why he's fighting you...
    but I bet you and he could talk it out.

    Maybe this has to do with that place you burnt down...

1069

Muschio:

"You honestly have no idea what she has against you?"

"I swear it, Master Muschio."

"Well... while we're here, I want you to look into it. Find out what you can about her without being confrontational. This is, until I say otherwise, just a friendly visit."

1070

Muschio:

"'ey, thiz ez et."

A very impressively-decorated mansion rises before me, made of some fine stone -- perhaps marble. Nestled carefully in a clearing of the immense forest, its grandeur seems to dwarf that of my own base's relatively unimposing façade.

"...wow."

"Yeah. No kidding."

"So this is where Sir Ridder lives? He seems to be doing rather well for himself."

"Eh, thet en't meh'feck'n bezn'ss."

"...Well. Is Sir Ridder going to come meet us?"

"The feck d'I look lek, eh feck'n mind reader?"

Oh, she's just charming.

  • Sounds good, but stay frosty.

  • Take a moment to consider that even though Finesse once poisoned you, choking on your own blood and blacking out in pain is still more pleasant than this new goblin's voice. In this respect become exceedingly thankful you employed the one and not the other.

    That done, trade condescension. "Well, is there someone more organized who would know? I am here by invitation."

  • huh, he also seems to have a gnoll working for him, odd.

    anyway, let's continue and be on the look out for traps. finding them while you are not in a hurry will make it easier to launch an attack if it comes to that. but i do so wonder what ridder's reaction would be if he found out that he was trying to kill the guy he swore to protect.

  • Scratch the 'Here by invitation.' part. We already said that. Memory is yet your domain, but I could try a little harder.

  • This is true. Be greatful that Finesse is nowhere near as grating an ornery as Gre-er, the cranky goblin.

1071

Muschio:

"Well, is there anyone more informed who might be able to help? As I said, I am here by invitation."

"Eh... yeh, 'lreht. 'ey, Terva!"

"Mmh?"

A very large gnoll -- whose upper body seems to constitute the vast majority of his mass -- pauses by the front door, hauling a slender tree trunk over his shoulder as though it were a stick-bindle. He glances at the four of us as we approach, and the young goblin nods to him.

"These're th'guests Ridder w'z blabbin' ehbet. Hendle 'em fer me."

"...right. Sure."

The enormous gnoll glances at Finesse, myself, and Ashedel all in turn. One of his eyes appears blind, or at least half-blind. He keeps his good eye warily on Ashedel, and his body language only tenses.

"Eh... so, what k'n I... do for ya?"

  • Introduce us to your esteemed master, perhaps?
    He awaits our arrival.

    Man, these servants are dense.

  • Greet Terva in a jovial manner.

  • "Could you alert Ridder to our presence, and perhaps show us where to wait? It would be appreciated." He seems more civil than our guide in, but that's a low bar.

    Begrudgingly let your mind take in tactical information while you can. Worst case scenario, this is your only visit and the information comes in handy.

1072

Muschio:

"Well, we're here to see Sir Ridder, so if you can find your Master and tell him we're here, that would be a good start."

The immense gnoll nods absently, keeping a careful eye out.

"Yeah... uh, yeah, sorry, but Master Ridder's resting right now. But I can take you to our military leader, or our... uh. Hm. Well, she's kinda watching over the place while Ridder's resting."

Finesse stays close behind me, perhaps intimidated by this ferocious-looking individual. I can't say I ever expected Ridder to employ someone like this.

  • He must have been pretty damn persuasive to employ such a brute, donchathink?

  • Seems fairly docile... if uncivilized. But make no mistake, he seems to know a warrior on sight.

  • Then perhaps he can at least direct us to somewhere inside where we can refresh ourselves after our journey. Certainly that is not too much to ask.

  • I've got a feeling you've yet to be truly surprised by the acquaintances you'll make before this day is through.

  • Let's meet this 'other person'.. caretaker or something.

  • We should wake Ridder. This is rather important, and it would be worth it to have him present.

  • Alright lets check out his advisor. He must be on top of things more than the military dude.

1073

Muschio:

"I really would prefer to speak to Ridder, it's rather important. But in the meantime, I'll speak with the current caretaker."

"All right. I'll see if I can rouse 'im. Uh, right this way."

The giant gnoll stands in the doorway, obviously doing his best to be courteous to his master's guests.
He still seems a bit uneasy, and doesn't take his wary eye off Ashedel even as he addresses me. Thankfully, Ashedel seems just as poised, and her abilities have already been proved, so I feel at least somewhat confident.

"Oh. Um, I should introduce myself I guess. I'm Black Fang -- er -- Terva. I take care of... hostile outsiders."

He glances again at Ashedel as we begin to enter.

  • Respond in kind I suppose. He doesn't seem too bad.

  • "Interesting. Have you seen any hostile outsiders?"

1074

Muschio:

"Interesting. Have you seen any hostile outsiders?"

"We get our share."

"Well, Terva. My name is Muschio Malto. I'm an old friend of Sir Ridder. We were very close growing up."
He glances from Ashedel to me, looking a little surprised.

"Wait, so you're -- oh. Er. Of course you are. Well, Master Ridder's resting upstairs. C'mon into the lounge while you wait, and I'll introduce you to... er, the current caretaker."

Ashedel keeps a close watch on Terva as he leads us into the base.
Something about this guard seems strangely familiar.

  • Hey, remember when we first killed Red Fang way back when? Good times.

    Oh wait. Does Terva happen to know Red Fang?

  • Well, KNEW anyways.

  • Well, he did just call himself Black Fang. Either knew Red Fang, or its just a weird Gnoll naming scheme.

  • "I say, Terva, did you happen to know a ... Red Fang?"

  • I'm not sure much good can come of mentioning Red Fang. Especially when our location is his former dungeon.

  • i agree. if these colour fangs know each other then it will be a big clue that you took over his place.

  • No, I'm sure it is a brilliant idea to immediately mention a guy we killed that could be Black Fang's brother or something.

    How about you stay chill and find out just what kind of people Ridder has working for him? Pretty strange group thus far.

    "Military leader? Is Ridder raising an army, then?"

1075

Muschio:

You raise a good point.
On the one hand, I feel I should learn more about this. If there's more than one Fang, and they're close, there may be yet another group with reason to want me dead. I should find out as much as I can about them. Further, if I am to be a guest in the same house as this Black Fang, I will want to make sure he won't stab me in the back, even if I'm confident Ridder won't.

...however, it would be unwise to tip my hand at this point. I don't want to give anything away that I can't take back. I need to test the waters first.

"I say... Terva, not to pry, but, did you happen to know an individual named Red Fang?"

"Yeh. I grew up with him."

Oh dear.
"Are you two... particularly close?"
His eyes set and he sneers wordlessly, a hint of anger and disgust.
Possibly a good sign.

  • 'oh, so how did you feel about the rumor that he has been killed?' if he like the sound of that then you can tell him you killed him, if he sounds like he don't like it then try to steer the conversation a different way.

  • Say that you met him while acquiring your base.
    Also mention that you heard a rumor that he was killed some time ago.

  • Well... he is apparently working under your pal Ridder. It would not be entirely unreasonable to surmise that even if they shared a past together, their ideals grew apart.

    Not unlike another pair of characters that come to mind.

  • Probably best to just let it go, and let the gnoll get back to what he was about to do.

  • Good point.
    In any case, this seems like a man who appreciates frankness over evasive polite words.
    Spill the beans.

1076

Muschio:

Very well. I may as well come clean.

"In my travels, my path crossed with Red Fang. We fought, and I struck him down. I buried him myself. I'm sorry."

"..."

  • impact, brace for it.

  • Stay confident! Tell him it had to be done and you wanted him to know the truth as a token of trust, friendship and no more hostilities.

  • Why do I get the feeling you're going to get hoisted by your nose again?

  • Aye, tell him that as a former comrade you felt he deserved to know Red Fang's fate. Maintain awkward silence until you meet the majordomo of this manse.

    On the plus side, this seems more like the kind of fellow that would attack immediately or challenge you to a duel than stab you in the back.

  • This.

1077

Muschio:

I remain silent for a moment at first, then:
"I felt that, as a former comr-"

"BUAHAHAHAHA! Good riddance t'bad garbage!"

He claps his giant hand down on my shoulder and shakes in what I really hope is a friendly manner.
He turns to Ashedel, still grinning and laughing.

"Now ah see why you'd come out 'ere to let this little man look up 'is friend. Ya must 'ave a strong army with lads like this under ya... but don't think I'm intimidated!"

  • Just... just let it go Muschio. Don't say anything.

  • "It's the sex."

  • Ok, obviously you should find out what Ashedel's history is with this character. Soon.

    Might want to let Terva know the chain of command here as well. You're losing face pretty quickly.

  • It seems like dear Ash has some secrets from you Mushio. You will have to ask her about that later.

    But in the meantime I guess you could regale Terva with the tale of the battle between you and Red Fang. I'm sure he would appreciate it.

  • You could either correct him now and look stuck up, or you could let him find out by himself and look even stuck up.
    I believe spilling what's going on is best yet again. You can ask Ashedel what she knows of Terva in a brief moment of waiting/walking/loitering.

  • Actually, I'm not working under her. Ashedel and I are in an alliance." That should be clear without seeming too arrogant.

    Then ask him how they know each other.

  • I'm not sure, but I don't think they're acquainted. It may just be a case of Terva mistaking Ash for the leader by her...um... size.

  • Come to think of it is Ashedel really our 'minion'? Maybe she's just on loan from Coriander.

  • Yeah, I suppose we're working together on a joint mission.
    However, she's more of freelance than on loan from Cori, since she allied herself with us before her old commander died.

  • "Do you two know each other?"
    Nice neutral statement, makes you look cool and unconcerned, but can also lead in to mentioning how she works for you and not the other way around.

  • Wait, wait, wait.

    Ridder knows where the base of the "boss" is.

    You idiots just told black fang that Muschio killed the former leader of the base that Ridder suspects.

    When Black Fang talks to ridder, He's going to put two and two together.

    Damn it guys.

  • We never said WHEN we took over the area, all black fang knows is that we took out Red and that we occupy Red's base NOW. For all they know it could have been just a couple days ago that we holed ourselves up in their.

  • I think it was kind of inevitable anyways.

  • Isn't this also metagaming?

  • We got info that Ridder is the one sending trouble our way. Even if he doesn't know our plans and intentions, an order of the day should still be to do something about it, and telling Ridder that he has severely wounded an ally of ours may very well do the trick.

    Chances are, that unless we straight out tell him we are "Evil", he may be blinded by memory of the Muschio he once knew, and doubt all evidence that points to wickedness. either way, the truth WILL get out eventually, either by civilized conversation or an army knocking at our door.

  • I was thinking this too, but I don't see Ridder finding out as being "instant bad end". There are still unexplored places on the map and questions unanswered. I'm pretty sure this is inevitable and the sooner everything is out in the open the better.

    Ridder is NOT a paladin. He need not be fooled for fear he might lash for unreasonably righteous reasons. In all honesty, despite his original intent, Muschio's actions barely qualified as evil in comparison to Ridder's. Ridder -did- sneakily release an unknown prisoner, strip, free the troll king and his minions unintentionally killed several innocents (children included) among other questionable things. I think Muschio can be excused for his occasional bumbling mistakes that wound up becoming "evil".

    The main issue to worry about is dealing with the actual sun paladins. When they find out the overwhelming evil Tim "saw" is allied with Ridder an epic battle is almost unavoidable.

  • [mostly metagame talk follows]

    Actually, I just re-read Chapter 15. Ridder didn't say anything about a "Boss", or Muschio's stronghold, or anything about what he's been doing. At best, he mentioned that he had followers, which is rather obvious at this point.

    On the other hand, we've poisoned a spy in the goblin village (or tried to), were attacked by a teleporting spellcaster after the amulet, and the spy was tracked back to Ridder's location. It's possible the spy is merely someone under Ridder's employ, but that seems doubtful.

    Plus, if we're metagaming, we've already given away a pretty big tell by including Finnie with us. Just hope that Ridder doesn't connect the dots together, or at least is honorable not to be baiting us into a trap.

    To be fair, Muschio has a death toll over twenty from the burning of Iniziare Citta.

    I agree that Ridder learning of Muschio's plans isn't an immediate BAD END, but it surely won't end pleasantly. Even with what we know, Ridder isn't going to accept what Muschio has been planning very lightly.

  • Guys, this is really something that can be taken to /questdis./ /quest/ is supposed to be for quests and suggestions for those quests.

    Thank the crude guard for... no reason and ask if there's a place we can wait at.

  • Ridder will eventually learn that we are in some way related to some of our more 'unscrupulous' goings on. How he reacts depends a lot on how and what information we present to him.

    Better he learn from us, than learn himself and almost certainly feel betrayed (if he has not already.) But these are matters best discussed behind closed doors with Ridder himself. All we need tell his underlings is that we are here to see Ridder and that we are his childhood friend Muschio, we don't want them to get any ideas and try to capture or harm us thinking they are doing their boss a favor.

  • That's the thing, Muschio hasn't -actually- planned anything. He gathered alliances (in good faith) and underlings (that he cares about) and all his plans have been haphazard or completely by the seat of his pants. If he had actually done something cold and collectively evil that'd be one thing, but so far all he's done is try to set himself up to acquire some seat of power (which Ridder has also done). Inizare Cita was an accident (with no proof linking him to it).

    As long as Muschio hides the princess from Ridder he's pretty much home free. What could possibly go wrong!?

  • did you really have to invoke the law...

  • ?

    My sentiment exactly.

1078

Muschio:

"Er, no, I think you misunderstand, you see-"

"Ha ha ha ha ha!"

Terva and I glance at Ashedel, who seems quite amused at the situation, laughing loudly.

"Hahaha! No, you big lummox! I'm not the boss, he is!"

Terva glances from her to me, as if in disbelief, then quickly recollects himself.

"Ehr. Sorry. I just thought, y'know, since she's so much... erk."

"No offense taken, my good man."

"...Right."

There's a long, awkward pause. Awkward for everyone except Ash, at least.

  • Well at least she's happy!

    Hm, why don't you ask for a tour? Get to meet the folks.

  • Well anyway tell him the tale about your fight with Red Fang. I'm sure he will appreciate your hardships and give you the proper respect.

    And maybe ask him how he ended up in Ridders employment.

  • Let's not go too deeply into Red Fangs death... but asking about him would be a good idea. We are partially here to gather information.

  • "So. How did Ridder come into possession of such a place as this?"

  • Agreed. Let's move on.

    "So! How about that caretaker we need to speak to?"

1079

Muschio:

"...Well! Let's continue on, shall we? I still need to meet this caretaker."

"Eh-- oh! Yeah, yeah she's right in here."

Terva leads me to a door near the back of the hall and opens it up, revealing a small, cozy-looking room with a sofa, and a game table at which two people are seated.

"Ridder's guests've arrived."

The two turn to look at me as Terva announces my presence: a pudgy, diminutive catfolk and--

"Lady Ritari?!"

"Oh my!"

  • Another old kingdom friend? Greet her, but do not forget to introduce yourself to the catfolk as well.

  • Lady Ritari? Is that Ridder's sister or something?

  • I take it you know each other/have met before?

  • Problem, Muschio?

  • Say hello? I assume she's related to Ridder.

  • Wait, wait, don't tell me.
    I remember this one.
    She's... Ridder's... Aunt? Cousin?
    She's related to Ridder somehow...
    Anyhow introduce yourself properly.

    ...Have we seen that catfolk before? ...Nah. Nevermind I'm just imagining things.

  • Regain composure. If you know this lovely lady already, then you should try and at least appear graceful when reuniting with her. Ask her how she has come to be here.

1080

Muschio:

I nod briefly to the young catfolk and greet Lady Ritari properly, kissing her hand respectfully.

Lady Ritari is Ridder's mother. She and her husband were very close friends to my father, and like Ridder, they looked after myself and what was to be my kingdom. When the world fell apart, we still had them as allies. Even when there were stirrings of revolution in the North, they stood by us. And as with Ridder, I have never forgotten their efforts.

"Lady Ritari. Words cannot express how glad I am to see you. After the revolutionaries reached the castle, I feared the worst. But perhaps I should have known that you were strong and clever enough to escape in one piece. It soothes my weary heart to see you are alive and well."

"Oh... well... Yes. I'm very glad to see you're alive too, Pr-- Muschio."

  • Ridder lives with his mom?

    Huh.

    Now do the catfolk.

  • Huh. This is going to make the whole "headquarters of our enemy" thing a lot more awkward.

  • Don't forget to greet the catfolk, as well. It would be most rude.

    ...I still can't shake the feeling that we've seen her somewhere before...

  • Perhaps you can ask her how Ridder has been doing? Or how she has faired since the revolution.

    She seems a bit nervous, though. Wasn't she informed of your visit?

  • Introduce yourself to the catfolk and then inquire as to Sir Ridder's whereabouts.

  • Such a fine and classy lady. You treating her so well makes me suspect there are lustrous motives behind you kissing her on the hand. Childhood crush? Must be why you like women with curves then, eh?

  • MILF.

    Anyway, ask Ritari about Ridder's activities as of late. Let's be subtle about finding out why he means to attack/spy on you.

  • Keep your guard up. This could still turn ugly, if they find out about your role in the fire, for example.

    Ask about what Ridder's been up to.

  • It would be very rude to Ridder to fuck his mother in his own lair, maybe you could invite her to a private meeting in Sepia Town if you're so INSISTENT on fucking her. Don't rub it in Ridder's face either, that would be mean!

  • Make smalltalk.

  • You should fuck her, bro

  • Aha! The portal sucked you into the orb of infinite psyche! What a tweest.

  • ONE OF EACH THE RACES OF MAN
    AND A FEW THAT AREN'T

    This would be the best place to start such a quest, honestly.

1081

Muschio:

I won't even begin to dwell on the ramifications of flirting with Ridder's mother, even ignoring the fact she's a married woman. However, I will admit that as I was growing up she was... something of an influence on me.

"What... well, what are you doing here, Muschio dear?"

"Oh yes, Ridder invited me here! We ran into each other by sheer luck while we were out and about, and he said I should come visit when I have the time."
She looks at me for a moment, nodding as I speak, and when I finish explaining she smiles warmly, standing to greet me.

"Oh goodness! My dear Muschio, how wonderful to hear that you two have found each other again. Ridder must have missed you so much.You two must have so much to talk about. Oh my my, dear Muschio, you have grown so much."

She hugs me tightly, a gesture protective and friendly.

"Ridder will be overjoyed to see you. He's upstairs."

"How IS Ridder these days? We spoke only briefly..."

"Oh goodness, Muschio.. Ridder is so strong, but it's all getting too much. He's such a sweetheart, so he worries far too much. He's been sleeping for two days now. He just collapsed from exhaustion when I came to live here. Well, that's what moms are for."

...

"...yes, I suppose so."
She glances at me, her gentle expression revealing a hint of sympathy.

"Oh, there there, sweetie. I know you miss her. But you know, you can always look up to me as a mom too! You and Ridder are so close, after all."

...I suppose that does make me feel a little better.
She's such a kind, honest woman. I can't help but smile as she kisses me on the nose in a motherly gesture.

  • I think that catfolk wants to say something to you.

  • D'aaaawwww. :3

    "So... am I able to see Ridder? I'd very much like to speak with him."

  • I fucking goddamn knew it. It was the hips and tits wasn't it?

  • yeah, don't be rube, say hi to her

  • The catfolk is staring at you.

    Perhaps you should ask her if something is wrong?

  • agreed...
    I believe the wide eyes mean she's seen you before...

    And that she's either bewildered or scared...
    maybe both...

    be pretty funny if she was that spy, eh? EH?

  • That catfolk looks lonely. Extend some gentlemanliness to her.

  • Yeah boss; that catfolk is either surprised, scared, or just making some weird faces.

    It probably couldn't hurt to ask him/her if everything's alright (and giving them a friendly smile as well, for politeness' sake.)

  • I don't believe you and the halfling/catfolk have been properly introduced.

1082

Muschio:

"You're very kind, Lady Ritari. I'll go up and see him presently."

You're right, I shouldn't neglect to properly greet the catfolk as well.

I turn to her. Perhaps it's her odd size, but she seems slightly intimidated by me. I extend a warm smile to let her know I mean no harm -- assuming all goes well on this trip, anyway.
"Greetings. My name is Muschio Malto. I don't believe we've met."

  • Kiss HER hand as well, don't make her get jealous you hunk of man you~

  • Uh... Try offering a handshake? And ask it what's wrong.

  • "So uh... have you known Ridder for long?"

  • Those freckles look slightly familiar.

1083

Muschio:

"Is... something wrong? Miss..."
Her expression changes suddenly, as if snapping to her senses.

"It's a pleasure to meet you, Mister Malto. My name is Sti-- Lady Slotensmit. Hilne Slotensmit. I am Sir Ridder's fiancée."

She holds her hand out in a ladylike fashion.

  • ...He got engaged? Devious bastard, why didn't he tell you?!

  • "Ah, I'm sure Ridder is very happy with you, Sticks."

  • Raise eyebrow.

  • Boss, I got the overwhelming urge to say "Does Ridder know you're his fiancée?"
    [repost for spelling correction]

  • Take hand.

    Kiss hand.

    "It's a pleasure to make your acquaintance, Miss Slotensmit."

  • "So you're a half-ling catfolk then? Assuming your not a child-bride?" Snicker a little.

  • Really now? He always was popular with the ladies.

  • That's not the name she was about to give. Perhaps you might say something like "By what name are you most usually known, madame?"
    Be sure to take her hand, as to kiss it, while doing so.

  • I assume you realize she probably made up that name on the spot. You should act like you believe her, though.

  • She's not got a ring, I doubt Ridder would propose without a ring. In addition, his mother made no mention of his engagement, and mothers are usually really gushing and excited about it.

    'tis likely a lie, boss.

  • no ring..l.
    And considering Ridder's attitude, he wouldn't do anything of that sort till he got to a point he was comfortable with...

    Either way, go with the flow, and ask ridder later...

  • If she thinks she's fooled us, she won't try any harder with her next obvious lie.

    I agree with asking Riddler about the catfolk later. But don't mention her by (fake) name; if you just say "the catfolk", he might tell you her real name.

  • oh, you devil, you player, you

1084

Muschio:

Yes, you have a point. Even if she made the name up, it would be rude to question her on it, especially since it's so irrelevant to anything I'd be concerned with at the moment.
I kiss her hand politely.
I'm here to test the waters and I don't want to make any waves. I don't even know if Ridder knows what I truly am just yet.
Time will tell. Until then, I must be a perfect gentleman.
"The pleasure is all mine, my good Lady. That Ridder neglected to mention you in our brief meeting must only be a testament to how deeply worried he truly was, for a fiancee as lovely as yourself would certainly be worth boasting about."

"Uhhhh, yeah~

That's right~"

  • Heh, her teeth are funny. So what else is there to see around here? Or did you want to catch up with Ritari more?

  • Hehe, you're such a charmer. Let's go... talk to Ridder now.

  • Kiss her.

    No, kidding, let's go see Ridder.

  • We should go seek out Ridder now. We have conversations to make.

1085

Muschio:

All right, then, time to move on. I head towards the stairs to speak with Ridder. This could be vital.

As I reach the foot of the stairs, a Kobold carrying a freshly-killed animal over its back steps into the room, and notices me, almost startling. We exchange a quick glance.
"Hello. My name is Muschio Malto. Sir Ridder invited me here."

"Oh."

"You look very familiar... ah, that's right, I saw you traveling with Sir Ridder at the hot springs. I didn't catch your name, mister...?"

"Oh, uhm, sir, it's Iesgip, sir, I am, uh, I am a woman."

She blushes slightly and gives a bats her... eyelashes.

  • Hahaha!

    "Oh, I had just assumed, since you were in the men's bath... A pleasure to meet you."

  • Apologize, quickly now.

  • "Such a healthy looking girl, I'm most impressed!"

    ..Why was she in the males hot spring, again? Well maybe don't ask that, but refer to it for the cause of your assumption.

  • Add that you're biased, as the only girl kobolds you've been around lately are... very girly.

  • You know what you must do, Muschio.
    You've got a reputation to uphold.

    Keeess the hand!

  • "Oh dear. I am terribly sorry."

    Take hand. Kiss hand.

    "I beg your pardon."

1086

Muschio:

"Ah, you clever girl. I had assumed, given your position in the springs... but perhaps you had ulterior motives. But no matter -- my most sincere apologies for the embarrassing mistake. I hope a lovely lady such as yourself can forgive a humble man like me."
I kiss her hand gently. She blushes brightly in response.

"Uhm sir you will -- uhm, sir please stay for dinner sir I will make it very good sir SIR!"

...she then runs off with her game to what I can only assume is the kitchen.

  • Sir, you should head on to greet sir Ridder sir so that you oh damnit, now she has me talking like her!

  • ...I think you overshot that one a bit, boss. Might want to scale it back just a tad.

  • SIR
    OUR MISSION OBJECTIVE IS TO SPEAK TO RIDDER SIR.

    SIR WE CANNOT TARRY SIR. SIR.

  • Whoops, she's smitten now, boss. I hope you don't mind women with a LOT of muscles.

1087

Muschio:

You're right, as always. I must proceed ahead.

I find my way to the top of the stairs, and Ridder's chamber.

This will prove a most interesting confrontation.
I need to learn what I can, and be careful not to tip my hand.

I really, truly don't want to have to turn my dearest friend into a nemesis.

  • ?
  • Rub your nose up against Ridder's.

  • Comment on his raging erection.

  • Okay, let's play this smooth; hoping that Ashe doesn't say that we're evil or take anybody hostage in order to coerce information, this meeting could go without incident.

    If Ridder isn't targeting us or if he doesn't know he's targeting us.

    Also, potential problems;
    Iesgip: seems a little taken with us.
    Sti-: Hiding something; Ridder's fiance? From what we've heard from Ridder, he doesn't sound like he's about to settle down and start a family; maybe they had sex when we accidentally sent the wine round and a halberd marriage is to occur; hence the adoption of a noble title.
    Lady Ritari: Could get caught in any potential crossfire if our face-burning friend shows up, with consequences such as breaking Ridder's spirit or turning him against us.

  • Hilne is very obviously making all that up, I doubt shes old enough to be a fiance judging by her comparative stature.
    My wild guess is that Ridder has become something more than a mercenary and would probably not be so against your new personality. You have both grown up and both realize that things aren't black and white anymore. He could very well be a great ally.

  • Someone has cast stop on you. Have a party member use Chronos' Tear to cure status effect!
    Trust me here, I'm Father Time, I know these things.

    The question is... who cast the spell and why are Time Mages trying to assassinate you.

    Oh, wait, evil, right. I forgot.

    In that case, kick them from the game for ignoring the Evil Boss Stop Immunity Passive Skill.

    Assuming you have it.

    Please tell me you have it?

  • You're evil.

    And Muschio, if he's sleeping, do wake him gently. No point in startling him more than he'll already be.

  • WHat ever you do, make sure he is an ally.
    A friend of like him is a rare thing indeed.
    Besides, burning that town down was a freak accident.

  • Well, we did kinda want to terrorise them a little...

    I mean, we weren't dissatisfied with what happened and we did cause it; true, it was an accident, but hey, it got results.

    Maybe we should burn Ridder down if he tries to kill us.

  • Son of a bitch. I was hoping this chapter would be done in the time it took me to read through Ruby and this from the beginning.

    Oh well, time to cycle myself in amongst the mass of insanity.

    (Saged for not actually contributing)

  • Still paused?

  • YES OF COURSE IT'S STILL PAUSED

    Stop bumping the thread!

  • omg sage

    [saged for no reason]

  • ?

    reave might be gone, but weave's still around, and I have it on good authority he's biding his time, ready to pick up the pieces!

1088

Dompag:

Mm? What?
Oh, it's you again. I thought you were going with the boss.
You get bumped around like this often?

Anyway, what kin I do for ya?

  • So, how's socializing with the princess coming along?

  • Check up on the princess.

  • Well you know Mushio seemed to have things well under control so we weren't really needed on that end. So we decided to just chill over here.

    So Dompag, that princess eh? Quite a fine piece of ass isn't she? Why don't you go over there and put in some more moves on her.

  • Hey Dompag. You look surprised.

    ...Aren't you supposed to be watching the princess?

  • Iunno, exactly, actually.

  • Yeah we do kinda get bumped around a lot. I bet if you got bumped around as much as we do, you'd be plenty happy, EH? GET IT?

  • Zoom in on the ravishing specimen of Orc on your wall.

  • Where do you even get those posters?

1089

Dompag:

The Princess? Oh yes, Princess Vittima and I have been getting along rather well. Especially after all the time I've been spending with her. She's down for a nap right now but I thought I'd prepare a nice snack for later.
I'd be lying if I said I never tapped royalty before, but a Princess? Well that's a new bar to set.

A lady like this though, you gotta go slow. But all those years sheltered in her little ivory tower... well, let's just say some things are best learned through firsthand experience.

  • Well you know Tislomer does have some aphrodisiacs. Maybe you could sneak some into the princess food and make her believe she has the Nymphs Jinx.

  • I hope that, with the slow pace you've been setting, you aren't friendzoned.

  • A smooth motherfucker like Dompag? Friendzoned?
    An outrageous assumption.

  • You might want to take it a step further after having snacked with the stacked princess, she clearly wants you.

  • Well we know YOU are getting along with her. How is she feeling otherwise? I mean it would be swell if she could be an ally to our cause someday, as opposed to an indignant pissed off royal who would just as soon order the rest of our throats cut.

1090

Dompag:

Eh? How's SHE doing?
Well good as can be expected I assume. She's taking this whole "kidnapped" thing pretty well, not makin' much fuss. Boss seems pretty damn mad at her though, and she seems pretty scared o'him, but that's fine by me. Gives me a chance to play a little good guard/bad guard.

Speakin' o'which, d'you think he's comin' back soon?

  • Day or two maybe... why?

  • Should be another day or two. I think he managed to settle things pretty well where he was going. But there is some travel time necessary to get back and probably some preparations to get done before he can leave.

    Say, what would be your feelings on marriage with the princess?

  • don't see dompag as a marriage kinda guy. on the upside though if you do marry her you would totally count as a king.

1091

Dompag:

Hey, don't read me wrong. I enjoy time without supervision, especially when the Princess is concerned.
But Finnie and Ash are out there with him, and I sure wouldn't mind their return.

  • Are kings anound here allowed to have harems? Or perhaps a few attractive handmaidens to help the Queen in her duties?

    See I think Muschio would probably let you become some kind of subordinate king under him. If you manage to romance her properly you could get a royal seat out of all this.

    Also, odd question, how long do Ogres generally live?

  • Well let's go hang with the princess and try to get in her frilly princess pantaloons while we're waiting for their return.

  • About Ashedel... You know Muschio's friend he's visiting? He's decided to court her.

    Of course, you realize that Finnie is madly in love with Muschio, right?

  • Well you know you could get to work on the princess. And if you're good enough then maybe she wouldn't mind a threesome with Ash when they get back.

  • Finny is still completely head over heels in love with Muschio, and Ash is now kinda engaged. The princess is the only free girl at the moment.

  • HEY how's Ona doing? A bit less skittish maybe?

1092

Dompag:

Ash may be proposed to, but that ain't mean she's MARRIED yet. Which means she's still fair game. Hell, even if she was married, that wouldn't necessarily mean anything. Don't want to say anything we can't take back now, do we?

We've already been over Finnie's obsession with the boss. But I believe that with time, any girl gets the desire for variety.

Besides, didn't you know?
That gobbo owes me a favor. ♥

  • ?

    I hope you're talking about her enlarging the doors of the Vault.

  • Oh, from the raid, right? Hmm, might not be the best way to cash in on it though. She is very obsessed with the boss, and she also has the capacity to be a scheming bitch. Piss her off and you might end up in a very bad position.

    Anyway, that's for later. For now you should work on the princess. Or maybe that new girl, Ona. Although she might be a bit small, but I'm sure a gentleman as yourself can find ways around that.

  • I think he's talking about enlarging the doors of her vault!
    How big are you down there, Dompag? Are you too big for Ona or maybe even Finesse to handle?

  • Dompag, you still didn't answer, how old are you, I want to know a little more about what makes you, you.

    Finnie's dedication to the Malto family may stretch back farther than you've been alive.

    Besides we've got a better reward for you coming soon, I remember you mentioning "sweet as a gnoll pup?" Well there's a nubile gnoll lady in need of some serious therapy coming your way soon if you consider our plans a bit?

    Hope you don't mind biting, or burns, girl's got spirit.

1093

Dompag:

Look, I know how to handle girls her size, all right? If I had a habit of breakin' 'em I wouldn't get any return customers, y'see what I mean?

Right now I'm focused on the Princess though. I'm gonna bring her some cheese and a little wine from my private stash. Alcohol's always a good ice breaker.

Ah, alcohol! No doubt about it: I can't live without it.

But I don't have any utensils. That won't do. You think Babrakus would have some?

  • Probably, so long as you don't mind wood.

  • if not then finnie should be able to whip some up pretty quick.

  • Don't you guys have utensils you use at dinner?

  • Babrakus is pretty handy with his tools, I'm sure he has a little something for you to use. He might be having a little trouble with Tislomer, he's not so great at talking up ladies like you are! Maybe you could help him out a bit when you get utensils from him.

  • Shouldn't there be some cheeseknives and corkscrews in the kitchen? I doubt Babrakus has either of those, but asking shouldn't hurt.

1094

Dompag:

Hm. I guess Babs isn't-

...here.

  • Hmmm, just a quick peek on her tits wouldn't hurt would it? Just make sure you don't wake her up.

  • Oh hey.

    Is this one of those rape things?

  • If you're looking at her when she wakes up she's going to think you want to rape her. You know that, don't you? She is excessively paranoid about rape for some reason.

  • Dompag would never take advantage of a woman. I am shocked, shocked that you would suggest such a thing.

    Clearly, the most gentlemanly thing to do would be to gently shake her until she wakes up and take a step or two back to preserve her personal space before asking her anything, like if she knows where Babrakus might be.

  • i've always wondered what those thingies on her head feel like, go squeeze one.

    if she wakes up just say you were looking for babraksus.

  • That silly drawing has been there for too long now. Make a new one!

  • Yeahh, of all people you want to freak this girl out the LEAST. Be veeery careful here.

  • If you want to talk to her, step outside close the door and knock on it to wake her up. But I'd suggest just avoiding her.

  • Careful, she's skittish. We're connected to her now, by the way. She's taking a nip-nap right now on account of some sort of drug plant she was chewing on. Hopefully she'll have forgotten all about the 'rape cave' theory she had by the time she wakes up.

    Oh, also, we potentially have a new guest coming back with the Boss. A half-crazed gnoll bitch that's probably going to need cell space. We must make sure that nothing flammable ends up in her chamber until after some serious therapy.

    But as for immediate actions: Avoid the Ona.

    And dont forget to get the utensils BACK from the princess once she's done eating. Even if she isn't likely to escape, it might be bad if someone else thinks she's gathering tools for it.

  • The boss has met this one, Dompag. She's a decent chick; she sells "herbs" if you know what I mean. Nothin' serious. Some stuff that actually is medicinal, believe it or not. She might be setting up shop around here.

    She's a bit high-strung, though, particularly in regards to, uh, romantic advances. Almost paranoid, actually. You may need some delicacy.

1095

Dompag:

Eh, you're right. She's certainly a fine young girl, and... ah mother o'mercy have you SEEN what she wears?
But if I scared her she'd probably never get over it, so I gotta tread lightly around this one. I just knock on the doorframe and keep a distance.

She startles and sits bolt upright.

"AAA! H-huh? ...Oh. Oh, Dompag. It's you. I was having this great dream... hoo. So. Uh, what's up? Are they back?"

"Not yet."

"Oh. Well, what'd you want then?"

  • Ask if she knows where Babrakus keeps the eating utensils.

  • Ask her if she has any sweet ass drugs that she feels like sharing.

    Then go find a corkscrew and a cheeseknife.

  • Ask about Babrakus, utensils, and tell her how cute she is when she's sleeping, in that order.

  • Oooh, and ask her what she was dreaming about.

1096

Dompag:

"Do you know where I could get some utensils? The Princess and I are going to have a nice evening snack."

"Wine and cheese? Dompag, you smooth operator, don't you think she sees right through you?"

"Honestly? No, I don't."

"Well, I'm sure there are utensils in Tislomer's lab, just make sure you clean them up real nicely, unless you want your date bursting into flames halfway through the brie. And put them back too, she doesn't like people touching her stuff."

"Yeah, a lot of women SAY that..."

She gives me a strange look. I try to continue the conversation.
"So, what were you dreaming about?"

"Wouldn't you like to know~?"

  • Tell her that you would, but later and over some nice drugs.

    Then go get the necessary tools for a nice cheese snack with the princess.

  • "Perhaps you could tell me over some nice wine and cheese?"

  • "Uhhh... Yes, I would?"

  • Wait, is she flirting with you? ...hmm. Seems like she's grown to trust you a little. Remain cautious; she might not mean it.

  • "What, not even a hint?"

1097

Dompag:

Okay then, I better not push it. I'm starting to get the feeling she sees through me. She's a very down to earth sort of girl, despite her obvious paranoia. She didn't seem as wary around me as usual, but then again, you did just say she was trying to sleep off some drugs.

I give her some space and go find a simple knife at Tislomer's workstation. I'll be sure to clean this off before using it. After what happened to the poor girl I sure ain't takin' any chances.

  • Then clean off the knife, uncork the bottle and lets get wooing on the princess.

  • Don't forget to clean it AFTER you use it too.

  • There's no way this could go horribly wrong.

  • So... what? Nobody bothered to clean the ash off the other half of the room? You know, you might consider doing it yourself and earning some points with the boss. That, or get somebody else to do it.

  • taste test the wine to make sure it's not poisoned.

  • Make very sure nothing is wrong with it, from touching anything weird. Wash it, then lick it for any weird taste or sensation, then wash it again.

    As far as

    Well, so what? Be honest with yourself around her, be friendly and helpful without any kind of an act. Maybe even talk to her about your conquests, since I'm sure you were always a gentleman maybe that would actually impress her? Or at least let her know you're a nice safe and gentle fling if she ever feels the need.

1098

Dompag:

I test the knife with a tiny slice of cheese for myself. It seems fine.

Maybe even talk to her about your conquests

Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha
On a girl like that? Really? You must be out of your goddamn mind.
...I guess technically you are! Ha ha ha!

Now I'm gonna have a nice quiet --
KNOCK KNOCK KNOCK
Ah, great.
There's the door. What great timing.

  • Quick, attach the knife to your forehead.

  • Probably some cockblocking douchebags. Make sure you have your weapons at hand when you get the door. And don't open it completly, just open a viewslit and make sure you're not standing directly in view of whoever would be outside. Then ask them what they want.

  • well you gotta answer, they may just keep knocking and letting one of the girls get it may be bad if it's someone looking for a fight.

  • Time to do your job.

  • Come to the door with cake in your hand. No one is the enemy of delicious cake. Don't GIVE them any, just tempt them with it.

  • Open the door.

    get on the floor
    everybody do the dinosaur~

  • It's "walk". WALK, you fool.

  • That must be the devil. Let him in...

1099

Dompag:

"Boss?"

"AH! Dompag, thank goodness. Could you please-"

"AAAAAAAH I WILL EAT YOUR FUCKING SKIIIIINNN"

"Ashedel, hold her! Dompag, listen. I need you to take-"

"COWARDS, WHY DON'T YOU RAPE MEEEE"

"Take this uh-"

"I WILL RAPE YOU AND DRINK YOUR TEARS"

"this young lady and see to it that she's properly restrained before she can hurt any-"

"YOU THINK HE CAN HOLD ME? I WILL TEAR HIS FUCKING NIPPLES OFF WITH MY BARE HANDS AND THEN I WILL COME FOR YOU, YOU BLUE-HAIRED COWAAAARD"

"Just get her restrained! And NOT with the Princess!"

"I'LL KILL YOU SO SLOWWWWW, YOU WILL BEG ME TO KILL YOU FAST AND I WILL CUT YOUR DICK OFF AND BITE OUT YOUR ORGANS"

"... is she, uh, a captive?"

"More like a favor with a friend. She's our responsibility now, so don't hurt her-"

"HURT ME! HURT ME YOU COWARD, YOU LITTLE SHIT, YOU WHOOOOOORE"

"...and make sure she can't hurt anyone else."

"I WILL HURT EVERYTHING"

  • Welp, you heard the boss man. Toss her over one shoulder and take her to the dungeon. Your date will have to wait for another day.

  • Sweet as a gnoll pup~
    Be gentle with her, Dompag.

  • Dompag, I think this might actually be right up your alley.
    From what I understand of the Fangs they followed a classical canine structure, so she might need somebody to assert their dominance over her in order for her to calm down and behave.

  • Well you heard the boss. Go put her in with the princess.

  • Erm... well, as far as we know from over there, she's a mercenary... and she has issues... And she apparently WANTS to be raped...
    what an odd fetish...

    also, sup Muschio. Why didn't yea get a shard in Ridder? Great way to combine minds

  • ...apply fist directly to forehead? I mean, you are usually gentle-like, but maybe you could knock her out, so tieing her up is easier. And this is a narrative world, right, no chance of brain damage if you knock someone out.

  • This is a pretty good point, actually. And you've got the build to do whatever asserting may need to be done.

    And if all else fails you could probably just punch her unconscious.

  • Tell the boss that if she can't go with the princess, the Odds are going to have to dig an additional cell. We probably want a good three feet of stone between this thing and anybody else.

  • It would be extremely prudent to get a muzzle on her as soon as possible. She bites. Choke hold with left arm and use right hand to clamp her mouth shut if you want to deal with her now.

    And get the dirt gremlins working on digging out another cell. It would probably be best to put her in an entirely different room. Good two feet of stone and a heavy wooden door with cloth draped on both sides should keep the noise in. Just a standard cell inside there.

1100

Dompag:

"Dompag... er, I must admit I'm at a loss here. Sir Ridder asked me to rehabilitate this scarred individual, but I'm not entirely sure how to go about-"

"It's okay, boss. I got this."

"Ah, I was hoping you would. You're the only one capable of keeping her under control, anyway. From now on, she's under your care, understood?"

"Absolutely, boss."

The cells?
She'd scare the Princess half to death.
No, I have a better idea.

My room is plenty secure, and I'll certainly be able to keep a close eye on her.

I always did like a challenge.